Should I Warn That Girl?

Question

Ok so I had a deep relationship 7 years ago with this Tamil guy. He asked me to marry him, but his parents threw a ****-fit and demanded he break up with me (Iyengars, folks!!) guess the love of his life wasn't good enough for them, nor was their son's happiness. Nice people, eh?

So anyways I come up pregnant and they try to force him to kill me. He beats me so badly the baby comes out permanently and severely disabled. I get away from him, because they want the baby dead even AFTER she is born. What great Iyengar Religious people!

THEN I find out he's been married all along to a Lesbian in the US for greencard purposes. THEN I find out he had a 4 year relationship with some russian chick before me even. Starting to get the picture here?

Well I lost him fast and married a great Punjabi dude who's family totally accpeted my child, and I even had another baby with my new husband, they still treat my first child as their first grandchild.

They are as wonderful as the Iyengars are ROTTEN. The Iyengars, after failed attempts on my daughter's life (her bio-father was attached to her by this time) refused to acknowlege her existance, never sent her a birthday present, card, call, NOTHING. But my new family dotes on her, sends her all gold, clothing, toys, calls her everyday from India even tho we are now in US.

So Mr. Bio-father comes back to Canada. Begs me to bring his kid to see him. Then informs me that:

A: He has gotten married AGAIN as per his parent's wishes (another Iyengar, only an innocent one this time) and

B: He fooled her into it by failing to inform her of his kid, then dumping the news on her on his wedding night.

Now here are my two questions:

1- should I cut off all contact betwe him and his daughter, because I know that his idiot family will only treat her like an illigitimate child, a dirty mistake, ect, when she is the sweetest little girl in the world and deserves no such thing, and that especially

if he has "pure" Iyengar kids down the line?

2- should I find this gal and inform her of his other marriage, other relationships, and the fact that he likes to beat pregnant women? I mean, I really do want revenge, but I also feel that the poor gal was totally fooled into marrying a fool, and it's not her fault and she shoudl at least have the choice of annulling this faux marriage. Shouldn't she?

Also, is there any way I can hold that horrible Iyengar mother-in-law responsible for the harm she indirectly and directly inflicted upon my daughter? (I'm talking physical harm via the many beatings she promoted.) I do have some powerful relatives now in India, whereas before I had none. So I wasn't in a position to take action before, but now I would love to see that toothy smile from behind bars...

Any ideas? I am cooking mad about the whole thing and I think this rotten stinking family all deserve prison time, if not worse, especially for fooling that poor girl!

Thanks.

Answer 1

I totally understand you wanting revenge on your ex but why stoop to his lever just let it go. Under no circumstances would i allow him any kind of contact with your daughter. He will bad mouth you and turn everything around and make it sound like you were the one who left him. Your daughter is sweet so keep her that way.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like God has given you beauty for ashes through your new family. I would personally try to forget the ashes as much as possible, but don't worry; I don't think you will lose the lessen you learned about hooking up with the wrong guy. If it's not too late, I would seek to file charges against the bio-dad. He has no right to be free after what he did to your baby and you. He certainly has no right to be in the same vicinity as you and your daughter. I see her bio-dads' family as idiots, but I see him as an equal idiot for trying to kill his unborn child and possibly you.
Try to visualize you in your baby's shoes:
1. If you were the baby girl, would you want to be put with such a dad and a family that wants you dead?
Your item #2 says it all when you called your X a fool. I think you know you need to lose him for ever.
If he is still married to the lesbian (or whoever else) and has married another girl, I would attempt to notify the proper authorities that he is a polygamist and if they do their job, I would thing that his 'new wife' will find out the truth about who she married.
Your baby's dad should be charged with attempted murder. Why are you laying all the blame on his mother, evil as she is?He is the one responsible for the beatings, etc.
I would love to see his 'new bride' get out of this marriage.

Answer 3

1) Stay as far away as possible from this man and his family, I would cut all contact with them. His intentions may be to kill your daughter. You dont need to warn his new wife of what has happened in the past. If she confronts your ex husband you may end up in deep trouble again.
2) Dont press charges against your former in laws. What's done is done, and if they found out you tried to press charges agains your former in laws, they could come back and harm you and your child.
If you have a wonderful husband and family now, then cherish them with all your heart and forget about the past. What's done is done. You may be doing more harm than good by trying to punish those people now.

Answer 4

You should had called authorities after he beat you, now it is to late. I am sure the other woman will find out on her own what type of people they are. As for your daughter she was beaten before born by this man do not let him see her for something bad could happen. His family also need to contact, none of them are deserving of this poor Lil Girl.

Answer 5

I think you should try to find a way to warn her but if you cant without eeing him then dont. one he sems CRAZY this could be a trick to one take your baby or two try and do somehting horrible to her. S try and warn the girl if you need to call police by where they live explain the whole situation and see i they can do anything about it if they cant they pray for the girl and you shoul either move or whatever you need to do to make sure your ex cannot contact you or your child ever again. your childs saftey is at risk and as sad as it is for the other girl your childs safety comes first.

Answer 6

i be conscious of you opt to assist however the actuality of the undertaking is, it somewhat is not any longer your place. think of lower back to once you had such stable and loving emotions on your ex husband, now think of a woman coming to tell you that he use to abuse her. as a count of actuality that folk in many cases have faith what they decide to have faith, "oh she's probably a bitter ex-spouse he candy (ex) could by no ability do something like that" is maybe how she would be in a position to place in writing off your warning. Or she might start to have faith you yet as quickly as she ask your ex husband he will do each little thing to persuade her that your loopy and don't be conscious of what your conversing approximately. maximum abuser and controlling adult adult males are charmers so it won't take something for him to persuade her that 'he could by no ability do something like that'

Answer 7

you can file a restrainning order against then. You should've set that out during the whole running away process...you don't know if hes still out trying to get her...after all that do you really want your child to go through another tramatic incident in her life? she been through enough from the moment shes been conceived you as well.. dont put yourself through it again...

but if you REALLY do want him to be a part of her life...i would suggest NEVER leave the kid alone with him..

Answer 8

Just be thankful that you have a good life now. You were so lucky to get away from this guy and his weird family.

Answer 9

god has recompensed u for your heartache and loss, stay away from him, and his family. be thankful for your new life and forget about telling anyone about him, she will find out on her own. don't do anything that would cause this man to come back to u on anything. focus on the now not the past.

Answer 10

WHOA...Uh-mm, yes keep him away from your life because after ALL that you need normalcy AND sanity in your life. I would call the girl on the side and tell her about his past though.