Question for married men: Be honest please.?

Question

True or false: Men would rather cheat or do something else to trash their marriage, forcing their wife to divorce them, rather than be up front and break up honestly with her.

Answer 1

False

Answer 2

Patently false.

Men who cheat typically aren't thinking that far ahead, they think the cheating will never be found out and their marriage will stay intact. Sometimes they're right, and they do get away with it.

Sometimes they're wrong, own up to their mistake and they move on with their marriage.

Sometimes they're right and become overcome with guilt and confess to it.

Sometimes they're right, but go on to cheat more and finally do get caught.

Not all spouses immediately decide divorce is the only, or best,solution when their spouse cheats. Marriage Counseling can often save a marriage but figuring out why the straying spouse strayed. Other times the couple works things out on their own. 99% of the time there's more to it than simpy wanting sex, there are underlying issues in the marriage causing one person to feel like they need to get something from someone other than their spouse. Nine times out of ten the real prize the straying spouse is looking for is an emtional connection they lack with thier spouse and sex is either an extension of the emtional bond they have with the other person, or a means to get attention from them.

People have always had promiscuis relationships and always will, we are only human after all. It is only in the last 40 years that divorce has become the number solution for Americans to deal with it.

Divorcing over a single instance of unfaithfullness is essentially comitting marital suicide...a permanant solution to a temporary problem.

If the affair was a one-time or short-duration thing, find out what the real issue is that caused the spouse to stray and fix that problem, forgive and accept the fact that they are human and have human weaknesses and work together to not allow the problems which led to the affair to reoccur. Seek marriage counseling if you need to and move on.

The original question implies that men are somehow evil Supermen who don't make honest human errors, but have some sort of evil plan to end their marriage by proxy. This simply is not the case, both men and women have human weaknesses and human strengths. And the ability to forgive and overcome obstacles.

Answer 3

For some men this may be the case. These are the guys that can't or won't face the facts. Personally I walked out of a 33 year marriage because I finally got fed up with everything. Every guy is different, but for some getting involved with someone else is just a resolve to a symptom not a cure for the illness. As in all relationships, communication is the core factor to either keep it together or break it up. If you cannot communicate honestly with each other, then there is little hope anyway.

Answer 4

I didnt cheat on mine. I got myself signed in at the mental health clinic and they told me I was bi polar and needed medications which helped drastically. when I got out. mine was gone.took my furniture too.good bye and good riddance to bad rubbish. her kids wont even call me after aall I done for them. bought them cars and 4 wheelers.clothes. lost many nights sleep worrying over them and they werent even my kids. I think I deserve better and now I have found something better. life is better without her. I still am bitter tho. hope my bitterness will go away soon.want a new life with a better woman.I didnt trash my marriage. I didnt ever cheat.I was always too honest with her .I told her everything I ever thought and was up front about my feelings all the time. she played on her computer about 12 hours a day and hardly ever slept or spent time with me.hop she is happy with her life as well.

Answer 5

I think basically most men are cowards and Do want the wife to be the one to file for divorce.... I think the same can be said for women that want a divorce though....many of them will also cheat and get caught in order to force the issue.

Answer 6

So false it hurts!

There are just as many women that put their partners in the same situation. They "stick it out" for the sake of the children, for their parents, because "deep down inside - he loves me. It's all crap! You're the only one who can make you happy. No one else has that power. I'm the one who filed after she threatened to do it three times. Sure, it hurt at the time but I am now so happy and my life is great!

Good luck to all!

Answer 7

From what I have seen...true. Most men lack the scrotal integrity to be honest, preferring to scurry around like naughty children trying not to get caught.

Fortunately, I don't have that problem.

Answer 8

well being a man, an hate to say this ,but i say 70 per cent would do this,, , i know over the years of being married, we had our up an down,, an it true, i was a ***, at time, but we work it out, with god help,

Answer 9

it is surprisingly common among men who have low self esteem.

It's bad enough for them to WANT to leave you - but to be the one who actually does it? too hard for a poor simple man who doesn't like himself already. how could he live with himself if he did that?

whereas men who have sold self respect and self esteem will actually involve you in the process of communication and SHARED problem resolution. that way they are prepared to hear that something is their fault.

give it your best, be honest and tell him your suspicions. ask the direct question. if he says no, then march him off to counselling. he can't say no to counselling if he supposedly wants the marriage to last, now can he?

good luck!!!!

Answer 10

you know the signs it is time to says good bye