I know that everyone is different, and some guys are more mature than others, but let's all agree that in general, guys in their 20's are a little immature, in the least. I am not saying that they are bad guys, it just seems that they do not want to start being responsible for themselves. Why do they rely so much on other people (meaning their woman) to do things for them instead of taking the plunge and taking care of themselves? And what does it take for them to turn into responsible men? Talking, yelling, and leaving things for him to do does not work, not in my situation at least. My husband is an amazing man, but I am not only burdened by his resistance to growing up, but also concerned for his sake. He is 25 and we've been together for almost 6 years. I love him a lot but I would also love for him to grow up!
2007-09-19 12:11:43 · 16 answers · asked by princesspink 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm a guy in my twenties, and unfortunately I have to agree with you. We are immature, and I think our neediness towards our girls reflects the psychological shift we go through leaving "mom" and becoming independent men. Girls are consciously wired to reject the nest at a certain age- fights, even small ones, begin to become more frequent between girls and their parents until the girl finally leaves. Guys face much less resistance, and we'll even accomodate our folks much more to maintain our status as being cared for, real or imagined.
As for your man, he's simply going through what all of us do- temporarily replacing you as his mother. Very Oedipus, true, but very normal. We spend 18+ years in the care of a woman who takes good care of us and allows us to make mistakes, and it ultimately takes a while for us to realize that the women in our life aren't our mothers, they're are partners. Until your man realizes it's a team effort, not a shift rotation, he's gonna keep acting immature and regressing back to his more youthful, care-free days.
2007-09-19 12:23:23 · answer #1 · answered by TooMuch 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 but ever since 10th grade I've been taking care of myself for the most part. I just had a very long relationship where I learned a lot about myself. Its not so much the age, or time; many people are in their 30s and do not know how to handle life. I'm not saying I'm the most mature person in the world, but people only get mature after experience. I do agree with you though, that most in their 20s are immature; but I wouldn't say just guys. I think girls are a few steps ahead though.
2007-09-19 12:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by hockeyfreak 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a 37 year old man who used to be just like that, didn't clean,mow the yard couldn't keep a job, to worried about the fun things I'd miss.but when my wife left it took some time but reality sunk in and made me take responsibility. another man telling him to grow up and be a husband wouldn't hurt Either!
2007-09-19 12:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by mebejohnny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should of really put some thought into his childish and immaturity before you married him?? Some men do take a while to mature but they can change that and decide to act mature. Tell him he has to grow up on some parts of his life and don't say it in a mean way but in a loving caring way. Let him know you don't want this to affect the marriage and if he is willing and dedicated to working on it. If he loves you and cares about your marriage, he'd make the effort.
2007-09-19 12:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Despite Popular opinion here, most men do grow up. I'm 34, For me It really started with the relationship with my wife but having kids really forced me to to take responsibility(i'm not suggesting that you get pregnant until your are ready though)
2007-09-19 12:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ha! i've got the same problem, thankfully my end is getting better as we're expecting twins in December and he's doing his part to become more of a man when he's home....i guess i don't mind it as much as i know that he works hard in the military....i guess to answer your question, each and every man matures at his own rate. give him some time and suggestions....if you want more help, email me and i'd be glad to help out!
2007-09-19 12:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by amyhwoods 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop being his mother. Stop doing things for him. Let him learn on his own the things he did not learn growing up. No one should marry until they are at least 30 years old!
2007-09-19 14:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sorry to break it on you, but men don't grow up, only bigger. The bigger they get, the bigger babies they are. Still waiting, my husband is 31. It isn't going to happen until they go through their mid-life crisis. Hope the process isn't too harsh for them.
2007-09-19 12:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by roloswife 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would say on average another 20 years, but I'm not 40 yet so I'm just guessing.
2007-09-19 12:39:34 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he doesn't grow up by the time he is 34, he never will.
2007-09-19 12:21:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋