My wifes ex husband and she divorced in May of 2006. They agreed to joint custody of the child (one week with him and one with us). Also...He has been paying her Child Support since the divorce was final. Once the divorce was final...he moved back home with his mom and dad and has been living with them along with his two brothers who are older than him. Needless to say...it's a very chaotic household over there. Since that happened...she has wanted full custody of the child...but we can't really afford a lawyer. About a month ago...he lost his job. It seems he's in no hurry to go back to work...and so now he's decided that his best option is to file for full custody of the 5 year old so he won't have to pay child support anymore. My wife and I both work...so we do pretty well and we have a nice home...but like I said...we really don't have enough money for a lawyer. His mom is paying for his...so he's set. I need to know if we can win full custody without a lawyer. Any suggestions?
2007-09-19 11:30:28 · 42 answers · asked by John 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sure you can. As long as the mother is a good one,the home is adaquit and the environment is acceptable you'll win. However just because you may get full custody doesn't mean he doesn't pay child support. Even if he never see the child again. He will also most likely be allowed to visit the child. He can reapply with the court to revisit the custody issue any time he can prove that he has "a change of circumstance".
2007-09-19 11:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by thirsty mind 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'd just take the lawyer option. I think in any child custody case you'd need to have a lawyer.
The father is out of work, at home with his parents and brothers, has no job and has no way to provide even child support and can't even pay his own legal bills. What makes it worse is you said he seems to be in no hurry to find work. Since he immediately moved back home with his parents after the divorce, it shows that's he's not able to provide for himself on top of that. In all, this is all a good sign for your side.
From my understanding, if he was to give up custody, because the mother remarried he'd not have to pay child support at all if she agrees. This is probably the only real way to settle everything out of court since you did say he wants custody just to stop child support payments.
If both you and your wife have your own place, both work and are able to provide a secure enviroment, if you went to court there is no reason to think you'd not win. I don't believe the court would give custody to a person who wouldn't be supporting the child as it's his parents who are supporting him.
2007-09-19 11:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by SaberBlade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i highly doubt a judge will grant full custody to a man who lives with his parents and has no job vs leaving the kid with you, an intact family who both have jobs and provide a stable environment for the child. you have nothing to worry about on that one. i mean, that's a no brainer. the ex sounds like he's a no brainer as well. as for the lawyer, i'd play it out first to see how far he is really going to take this before i'd get a lawyer. in fact, if you get any kind of corresspondence from his lawyer, i'd write the ex and tell him that if he's really going to pursue this then not only is he going to lose ( and list the reasons i just mentioned above) but you are also going to sue him for your own lawyer costs for making you go and get legal representation for this stupid custody battle. hopefully he;ll back down. if he doesn't, i'd still play it out a little longer to see what's going to happen and at the last minute get yo urself a lawyer and definitely sue him for the lawyer costs. your case will be open and shut so not a lot of money should be spent. good luck
2007-09-19 11:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can try, but how can HE afford a lawyer with no job? Sounds like he's just throwing out some threats/fears out there to you, maybe because you both are happy and successful in love/home, and he is going backwards. He's jealous. He just wants attention. But at the same time, he may try to act on his idle threats. If you can prove he can't support the child, and he already agreed/signed on terms that he wants joint custody, there is little he can do. Only if he can prove you have done something that risks the child's safety, I don't see why the judge would side with him.
2007-09-19 11:38:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
just woundering why your wife isntn payin child surport the weeks the dad has the son? it works both ways in the courts....
i dont think he would get full custody the courts very rarly give the father full custody unless the mother is unfit... he live with his mum and now doesnt hav a job... so hows he going to surport the child, if you's are good parents to that boy then i dont see why you'd need a lawyer but it would really help if you could get 1 though.... all you need to do is prove he is an unfit parent and you should b able to get full custody
2007-09-19 11:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by angelz@princess265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is.......Have her to sit down and talk with him about giving up his parental rights , if he can no longer support teh child or want a relationship with him. ( it worked for me). Also, You can file your own papers in court for full custody of the child. It's just certain papers that you have to pick up and fill out before you turn them in. They will not fill them out for you. Make sure that you have proof that he is unfit, (example, drug problem , pedophile, child abuser, not mentally stable, ) also list his living conditions, And if anyone in his household has a drug problem etc. list that and have proof of that as well. Proof is everything. If he does not work and you and your wifwe does that a plus for you two as well. You will need proof of that is well, his work condition can and probably will change once you file papers for full custody. Make sure that your house is clean food in house clean clothes etc. because a social worker may come and do a home walk through at any given time. and most important do not tell him anything, fight with him, especially around the child. Good luck!
2007-09-19 11:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound to me like either parents are 'unfit' parents. I think it would be a waste of time and money to go to court over this. I don't believe either of them will get full custody. He hasn't harmed the child in any way, and neither has she.
Things will probably just turn into a long drawn-out battle, and end up exactly how they are now.
And contact legal aid. They could hook you up with an attorney for a much lesser expense.
2007-09-23 05:35:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me, but you and your wife BOTH work and have a 'nice home' ... her 'ex' is UNEMPLOYED and lives at home with his PARENTS and his two older brothers. I doubt you NEED an 'attorney' ... but unless this man is 'extremely rich' I can't think of a SINGLE judge who would award the 'ex' custody of his son ... and in fact he may 'increase the child support' and 'reduce the shared custody to 'holiday visitations' on 'alternate holidays' ... with 'supervision.' If I were your wife, I would call the 'bar association' in your area and have her ask for a 'low cost/no cost' attorney to represent HER ... you can NOT 'be involved' because you are not a parent of this child ... and her 'income' is probably 'low enough' to qualify for 'aid' in this VERY IMPORTANT matter.
2007-09-19 11:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by Kris L 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is what I understand about obtaining full custody of a child. One of you has to prove that the other is unfit to have custody. I'm not a lawyer so, don't quote me on this. Like I said.... that's how I understand it works.
2007-09-19 11:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by slobberknocker_usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want my honest opinion the childs dad should still be able to see his child whether or not he has a job or lives in a chaotic enviroment.there is practically no chance of the x getting full custody from the childs mother unless he can prove her unfit ie a danger or risk to the child involved in drugs etc.try talking to each other its always best before things get nasty and out of hand.....for the childs sake.
2007-09-19 11:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋