suicide...?

Question

hi ive just found out that one of my friends commited suicide 2 days ago. dont get me wrong i am upset but im mainly angry at them, is this normal?
have you ever known someone that killed themselves and were you mad at them?

Answer 1

perfectly normal hunni - i feel sad for you - you have a whole spectrum of emotions that you have yet to go through , take care xx

Answer 2

When I was 17, my 13 year old brother and i found my mom with a self inflicted gun shot wound. The bullet missed her heart by 3cm. She didn't die but the attempt was enough to make me angry for years. I have since forgiven my mom for doing what she did but I know that my brother and sister and I were angry for a long time. I think what you are feeling is absolutely normal. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Answer 3

I don't know anyone personally who has committed suicide, so I can't say I know how you feel. I do believe it is a normal emotional response you are having...why shouldn't you feel angry they were selfish...suicide is a selfish act. Although the sad thing is the person committing the act cannot see this...its a sickness. You will go through many emotions from anger to guilt to just plain sadness...My thoughts are with you through this very hard time...

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss...I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now.
It's very normal to have all kinds of emotions coming up over the next days, weeks, months, years, etc. Losing a friend can be a painful experience, and to lose someone to suicide can be even more intense.
If you haven't already, please look into finding a support system for yourself. If you can, find people you can share your feelings and thoughts with who can be supportive and good listeners. Do be advised, it may be hard to find people as there is unfortunatly a strong stigma against suicide and often people don't know how to react/respond to someone's grief in relation to suicide.
One option for finding support is to call your local suicide & crisis line. Volunteers on such lines are trained to be attentive and non-judgemental listeners. You don't have to be suicidal to call, and it can be a good way to express some of the feelings you may be experiencing. If you don't know your local #, 1-800-SUICIDE is a national referral number.
I wish you the best of luck in finding people out there to support you...the grieving process can be a long one, and please don't hesistate to reach out for support.

Answer 5

I am really sorry to hear about your friend.

It is normal to be angry, I have had someone very close to me confide in the fact that they have contemplated suicide. It hurt and I was angry as they would have left behind many children and family behind that cared for them. I thought how selfish but...

What you have to understand is that this person must have been in a very dark emotional state to do this and obviously could not see any other way out, they did not do this to spite you and must have been so very desperate for an escape.

Answer 6

My best friend committed suicide must be 10 or 11 yrs ago now.

Being angry is very normal, my mate not a clue no one had a clue what she was going to do at some point you'll probably feel a bit of guilt too, I know I did.

Something else you might find I know I did was that when people threaten suicide I have no sympathy at all for them My reaction is get on and do it.

I personally think suicide is a very selfish act and I don't apply this to young kids who do it that is a different scenario.

I am very sorry for your loss and I hope you deal with it in someway but you have a right to feel however you want to feel make sure you talk about it thou it can really build up inside you talk to other people who knew your friend and don't be alone when you need someone.

Take care.

Answer 7

Sure, it is normal to feel mad, and hurt, at the same time. I don't understand why someone could feel so bad, enough to take their own life and not tell someone like a close friend how they feel.

I had a friend when I was in the 6th grade that hung himself with a rope used in the theme from a dance we had the night before. Trust me, we were all mad, and very confused with him.

Answer 8

Surviving the suicide of a loved one is one of the most difficult challenges one will ever face. The "survivors," the ones whom suicide leaves behind, are besieged with intense grief. This grief hurts desperately, but must be borne. The grief that comes with suicide is unique. Remember that grief is like snowflakes or fingerprints. It is different for everyone. You are the one who sets the pace and limits of your grief. To some extent, you can shorten or lengthen the process of grief depending on your willingness to work through the grief.
Your anger may be directed at the deceased, yourself, others, God, or you may just feel angry. It is extremely important to get the anger out. This may be done by going to a remote spot and screaming, chopping wood, hitting a punching bag, playing tennis, swimming, pounding a pillow, etc. Anger that is not recognized and directed outward may turn back on you. Such anger unleashed at ourselves is very harmful. It is easy and understandable to feel sorry for yourself, but, unchecked, self-pity can lead to anger, bitterness, and depression. Some survivors build a wall around themselves because they are afraid of being hurt again. They miss so much of life this way. It is important to love and enjoy the people in your life instead of distancing from them. Lean into the grief. You can't go around it, over it, or under it. You have to go through it to survive. It is important to face the full force of the pain. Be careful not to get stuck at some phase. Keep working on your grief.


As soon as you are able, begin to deal with the facts of suicide. The longer that the facts are avoided or denied, the more difficult the recovery could be. Get the facts straight about the suicide - - whats, whys, and hows. To know the facts relieves the survivor's doubts and allows them to face the truth. It is important to be honest with oneself and face the reality that the death was a suicide.


It may be helpful to make reference to the suicide at the funeral.


The emotions of a survivor are often raw. It is important to let these feelings out. If you don't let your feelings out now, they will come out some other time, some other way. That is certain. You won't suffer nearly as much from "getting too upset" as you will from being brave and keeping your honest emotions all locked up inside. Share your "falling to pieces" with supportive loved ones, as often as you feel the need.


You may have psychosomatic complaints which are physical problems brought on by an emotional reaction. The physical problems are real. Take steps to remedy them.


Don't be afraid to ask for help from those close to you when you need it. So much hurt and pain go unheeded during grief because we don't want to bother anyone else with our problems. Wouldn't you want someone close to you to ask for help if they needed it? Some relatives and friends will not be able to handle your grief. Find someone with whom to talk. Seek out an understanding friend, survivor, or support group member.

Answer 9

You're going to bounce backwards and forwards through lots of emotions. It's perfectly reasonable to feel angry, and very normal. I felt so angry I thought I'd kill him if he wasn't already dead. I hope you have someone understanding to talk to cos you're gonna feel a lot of different things. It can be confusing - just go with it and don't feel bad about the way you feel.

Answer 10

You'll find you go through a whole range of emotions. Grieving for someone is very complex and you need to feel all these things to get over it. Guilt is another feeling very strongly associated with suicide. You might find it helpful to talk to someone who understands. The Samaritans are good at this. Find them in the 'phone book.
Sorry for your loss.

Answer 11

i think it is expected that you would be angry because you probably miss him and are hurt that he is no longer with you. But, it is important to remember that is was his life and he was obviously so unhappy (and felt no will to live) that he made the choice to end it...this was his choice and we all need to honor eachother's decisions. But, the loss and the pain surrounding it all is what we are all left with to struggle and work through- this is a real hard one...