Can you fall back in love with your spouse if you are already in-love with your lover?

Question

Once you have had an affair and fallen in-love with the other person, is there any hope for your feeling coming back. Should you divorce? Does having the affair make it harder to leave your spouse due to guilt. Anyone been through this?

Answer 1

After my husband moved out and got his own apartment he told me is didn't think he loved me anymore I found out much later why he said that to me,I thought he was bored and needed his space.That's when he told me he was seeing a co-worker and fell in love with her. After 1 1/2 years he moved back home and he loved me so much that he was smothering me with it. I'd be in the shower and he would slide a little note under the door telling me how much he loved me. He called me sevel times a day just to tell me again how much he loved me. So the answer to your question is a big YES you can fall back in love with your hus.or wife after an affair.

Answer 2

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RE:
Can you fall back in love with your spouse if you are already in-love with your lover?
Once you have had an affair and fallen in-love with the other person, is there any hope for your feeling coming back. Should you divorce? Does having the affair make it harder to leave your spouse due to guilt. Anyone been through this?

Answer 3

Yes, it is possible to fall back in love with your mate. However, sometimes the damage is done and can't be repaired. Does your spouse know that you were having an affair? It honestly all depends if you want it to work out for the both of you.

How does the person feel about you that you are having the affair with. keep this in mind, if you don't know you might always wonder "what if"..... Talk to this person and find out the feelings.

After all you were in love with your spouse once, you did get married!

Good-luck and best wishes!!

Answer 4

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

If you're wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn't make you need to pretend.

Well, there's no guarantee you'll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry-she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example-change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.

If it appears she/he is moved on, still send her/him a card you wrote just wishing her/him a great week. But don't look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress them.

"What should I do to get my ex back?" Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They'll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you'll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

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There IS a hope - and a good chance of reconciliation for you, so act on it - or you lost them forever!

Answer 5

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It seems like you both are not going anywhere further than just maintain this relationship as an affair (secret lovers.) Because if you both care deeply about each other like you said. Maybe something else already happen. But to me, by acknowlege of it is not a right thing of what you have been doing. That tell me there is something else that you seems to value and matter to you more like your kid, your morals, or you are afraid that people will jugde you....Maybe this relationship is not about sex to you, but it is for him. Ofcourse he have to treat you nice for the benefit to continue. He might misleading you in a lot of way, that make you think he does love you. If you both inlove each other, but not the spouse, and you both wish to leave..and wish to have the chance to find these feeling. Then what is the prolem that keeping you both from make it happening? So obviously...either you or him can't make a decision...for a year and half? Well. If there is a second thought, my advice to you that you should end this, the sooner the better. Just to save you or whatever you value. Because, if he is the one who recognize this is wrong (this is lust and not love)and decide to end it. Trust me, it will not go easy for you. You'll feel betrayed, hated,and regretted for being with him after he leave you. Please like I said save yourself before it can't be save. Take your time and devote to your husband and kid. They are your future. Rebuild your family back, maybe you and your husband been together so long and ofcouse it is not always the same as the beginning. Love is compromise,give and take you can't always take and never give. I said this because behonest with you I had been through this once. And ofcourse it was not easy thing to do but I did end it. To save myself and my family from falling apart, after almost loose my husband. Now I thankful that my husband is still by myside. That just make me love and appreciate him even more. So, good luck to you for whatever decision you are going to make. Sometime it is worth to sacrified.

Answer 6

yes you can.... if your spouse doesnt know.. then it can be easier. stop the relationship permenently with the other person(absolutly no contact). sometimes what you felt with them was just some excitement in your life you thought was missing.

you have to want to come back....is your marriage worth saving.

when you have been married things become unexciting and mundane with normal life. if you were in love with your spouse it can be regained with hard work. sometimes people forget what marriage is. it is not the butterflies you feel in young love. it is the commitment, that is the decision you made to make one person your mate for life. as time goes by the young love evolves to become a knowing that this is the one person cares the most for you and will not leave in sickness or health, rich or poor.

this comes with maturity and learning what love is...it is not sex or that fleeting feeling of affection that comes and goes then comes back in all relationships.

we all wake one morning and wonder why we got married. but we dont act on an affair with another because of momentary feelings of insecurity or needing to feel desirable. we recognize that the commitment is what is important and do not jepordize it for a few minutes of sex.

Answer 7

Breaking up is hard for anyone, unless your are numb and have no feelings about anything at all. The worst part is the heartache and self-doubt. You are always thinking about what you could have done differently. You overload yourself with questions that you may never get answered. At some point, you realize that you need to learn how to get back your ex. Here, you will learn a few pieces of helpful advice that will assist you in your efforts to win back your ex.

The first thing that you need to do, immediately following the break up, is to sit down and write a letter. In this letter, you need to refrain from saying hurtful or insulting things. The purpose of the letter is not only to give you some emotional closure, but also to let your ex know what you are feeling about the situation. This letter is important because sometimes it is easier for people to say what they need to on paper instead of face to face. It is also important that you don't admit any guilt. Simply state that you think it is wise to take a break from each other so that you both have the chance to think about things.

Once you have written and delivered your letter, end it there. Don't call or drop by, no matter how tempted you become. You need to allow a period for cooling down. A standard amount of time is about two to three weeks. Remember, for you to learn how to get back your ex, you need to allow for a no-contact period.

During the no-contact period, you should involve yourself in activities that make you happy. Try doing some of the things that you did before your relationship began. Your life does not have to stop because your relationship did. It is also vital to your emotional healing that you learn that the whole world does not revolve around your ex.

Once you have passed the no-contact period, you can make an attempt to contact your ex. Try to arrange a meeting. Make sure that you let your ex know that you would like to talk about things. To make them more comfortable, let them choose the place for your meeting. Talking about things like adults may be the key to learning how to get your ex back.

Here is the most important question you must answer - Do you want to get back with your ex? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will have your ex asking YOU to get back together. These steps are so powerful that they GUARANTEE that you will get back with your ex. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. See the proven steps on how to get your ex back

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Answer 8

Build up the trust you two shared again by showing him that he can talk to you about anything. If you can become his confidante now, that will establish a strong connection that will help you once his new relationship ends. If he does start talking to you about problems with his girlfriend, don't take his side. Remain as neutral as you possibly can. This will show him that you're mature enough to offer guidance without trying to persuade him to end things with her. He'll feel closer to you and once the dust settles after his next break up, you'll be the one waiting to pick up the pieces of his heart.

Learn exactly what you need to be doing and saying to win your ex boyfriend back. Doing the wrong thing can mean the end of the relationship forever.

Don't give up on him if you believe he's the man you are meant to be with. There are specific methods you can use that will make you irresistible to him again.

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Answer 9

Yes. I was involved in internet dating and it is very addictive. There are men out there willing to give you what you think you need. I fell very hard for a guy. But it was painful and impossible to be with him like I wanted. I ran to counseling, and asked this exact question. I needed to find the strength to stop completely. I thought I would die of the emotional pain. But with children and a husband who loved me, I knew I had to get through this. In time I really did, and much to my surprise, my old feelings for my husband came back even stronger! I shiver when I look back at the damage I almost did to my family. I will take this to my grave, but all I can think of is how to help others who dont know how dangerous it can be. I realize now I wasnt in love with the other man. He was just an escape. I pray you will end it now and have strength to come back to your own.

Answer 10

I don't think your feelings matter in all of this. If you are heartless enough to cheat on your husband, whom you made a commitment to in front of God and family, then what does it matter about falling back in love with him? So, you fall back in love with your husband and then one day find another "lover". What if you "fall in love" with this new lover? Are you going to fall out of love with your husband again? I think you are a coward for cheating and not being truthful to your husband in the first place. What if you were the one who had been cheated on? If you want to talk about feelings, tell your husband you cheated on him and let HIM make the decision of whether or not he still loves you.