My ex husband said he was working late, however in the background, there was music and people laughing. He also did not turn his cell phone off so i could hear ALL his conversations with friends I figured out where he was, so i walked up to the bar and took his truck and hid it. Many hours later he called to say his truck was "stolen", it was pretty hard to keep a straight face. The truck was gone for 2 day's before I told him where it was, I thought it was funny...You should have seen his face when I had to pick him up from the bar, since he was "working" in another city!
2007-09-19 10:18:06 · 12 answers · asked by slk29406 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Iritadragon, Way to go girlfriend. thumbs up!
My ex spent a lot of time with his friend, Mr. Weiser...Bud Weiser, even for breakfast!
2007-09-19 10:49:34 · update #1
It sounds like we could have been married to brothers...
My ex was in the habit of coming home hammered most days. He worked for the post office, and was off from about 3 p.m., and instead of coming home to help with the girls (I worked full time as well) he would always go out drinking with his "buddies" (some of them were buddettes) and roll in anywhere between 8 p.m. and 2 a.m. pickled good.
Well, I got sick and tired of this stinking carcass coming into bed with me whenever he decided to show up, and since we slept on a king sized waterbed, one night I decided to get even....
He came in drunk as usual. (Just the fumes off of him would have been enough to gag any right minded individual.) I waited for him to fall asleep which didn't take long at all, then I started rolling back and forth in a rhythmic pattern on my side of the bed...in towards the center, out towards the edge. Before long that bed was rolling as if it was a boat on the high seas.
Then I hear my husband gag and he rolls out of his side of the bed and hurries in to the bathroom, where he spent about an hour throwing up into the toilet bowl and moaning his fool head off.
Well, I decided that I really LIKED that game, so I played it EVERY TIME he rolled in late and drunk. He never did tweek to the fact that it was the motion of the waterbed that made him throw up. I guess he always put it down to too much booze.
It sure gave me a lot of satisfaction to hear him choking and sputtering and moaning in the bathroom across the hall, though!
Payback can be a b__ch!
2007-09-19 10:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
That is so perfect slk! I love it. My ex never really lied to me that I can remember, he would just come home when he felt like it. Especially in the early years, likely or not, drunk as a skunk! He told me where he had been or sometimes would call me and tell me where he was. In later years he would call me and " ask " me if it was ok to go out with his buddies after work. By that time I was thrilled for him to stay gone as long as possible. Ha To be honest, when he was drunk I would have been afraid to play any tricks on him. This was over 40 years ago.
2007-09-19 17:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by Eve 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was in the middle of my divorce. My ex was leaving me for another woman (yea) and she wasn't working at the time. She was still in the house. We lived in Virginia. I drove to New York to visit family with out her, I needed the break. I took my two kids with me for the week. They were both young 5 y/o and 3 at the time.
I made the drive home, about 8 hour drive with the wee ones. When I turned into the driveway, she was waiting for me, with crossed arms.
I got out of the car and she jumped right on me. "Where are the groceries?" she asked. "What?", "Where are the groceries?" she asks again I was befuddled. Then she told me I still had to feed her because she was still my wife. If I didn't feed her, she would claim spousal abuse.
I told her that if she was still my wife, she would have to have sex with me, where she stated that she would rather starve and we both went our ways hungry for what we desired......
2007-09-19 20:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hub told me he had a biz dinner to attend for employees only. Couple days later a friend of mine said--hey what was your hub doing at the Christmas party with another woman?? Hmmm. After we divorced (19 years later)my daughter said--guess what I found in the freezer. I said I know exactly what you found--the top off of our wedding cake, by the time he was home on an anniversary I chose not to eat cake with the butt head.
2007-09-19 19:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by lilabner 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good!
Not my story but did you see the Maury show where one guy and his lady were on the show.
Apparently the chap would go missing for days on end - and the best excuse that he could come up with was that he had been kidnapped!
Not once, not twice BUT THREE TIMES!!
And the woman was still sitting beside him asking for a lie detector test to see if he was lying!!!????!!!
He was - just in case you were wondering!
2007-09-19 18:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good reading. I got a good chuckle, sorry at your expense however.
My cousin told me her husband said he was going hunting after work, his friends dropped him off and he was very intoxicated. She said he passed out on the couch and she gave him hickeys all over his neck. The next day, she asked him in anger, "and where did you get all those hickeys from?" She had a hard time keeping from laughing. She said he never went "hunting" again. She never did tell him where the hickeys came from either.
2007-09-19 18:59:07 · answer #6 · answered by Wickwire 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kept telling me he loved me. But was always on the golf course, so one night I put his gold clubs in the bed.( on my side)
He was a director of 10PM news on a TV station.
For the first time in his live , he was "without words". But that was number on 1.
Number 2. I don't speak about. There are no words I can post on the site.
2007-09-19 20:16:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Still married to my lady for over 38 years, but a close friend of mine told me a story from the 50's. His aunt was a real.....female dog...to her husband. Constantly putting him down, calling him names. Nothing he did was good enough for her. One Saturday afternoon in Mountain Home, Arkansas in 1952 he said he was going to the store to get some cigarettes. He walked out of the house and no one ever saw him again.
Then there's the story of the guy who said he was going fishing with his friends for the weekend. He asked his wife to pack a suit case...and make sure to put his flannel pj's in because it was going to be cold.
When he came home on Sunday night, he told her that he couldn't find his pj's. She told him she HAD packed his pj's...in his TACKLE BOX!
2007-09-19 21:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by AmericanPatriot 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Awsome, I totally love it,
God I hope i remember this so I can pull this same stunt on my Husband if he ever lies to me.
Seniors Rock!!!
Meg
2007-09-19 17:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think they knew better.
Except for my first ex,
I was always hoping he might forget where he lived.
2007-09-19 21:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by ♫ Bubastes, Cat Goddess♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋