would you read my poem?

Question

looks like the play is over, the final act is done. The story of a dreamer who thought he'd found the one. caught up turning pages, didn't know the story ends, caught in the fact of the matter that her feelings were pretend. It is time to close the curtain, turn the stage lights out. she played her part oh so well he never had a doubt. standing in the shadows, as the bright lights fade away, standing there with a broken heart and nothing left to say.

Answer 1

Try breaking it into seperate lines, it's a little easier read. Work on punctuation and a couple of line which the meter wobbles slightly.. In all, a very good job. I like it a lot. Kinda like this:

looks like the play is over,
the final act is done.
The story of a dreamer
who thought he'd found the one.
caught up turning pages,
didn't know the story ends,
caught in the fact of the matter
that her feelings were pretend.
It is time to close the curtain,
turn the stage lights out.
she played her part oh so well
he never had a doubt.
standing in the shadows,
as the bright lights fade away,
standing there with a broken heart
and nothing left to say.

Answer 2

I love it. This is the same sort of way I write, so I guess I can relate to both the context and the structure of it.

Answer 3

You need to work on your punctuation, however, the poem is really quite good. Keep it up you may get published one day.

Answer 4

I like it a lot! It like it represents her life. To me it sounds like he is dying of a broken heart and he didn't see it coming. I hope I understood it right! Contact me if I didn't!!!!!

Answer 5

Kudos-Kudos!

Answer 6

great, and yes i would read your poem.

Answer 7

that was good i would read it :)