A single man whom I find very attractive, intelligent, and the like, wants to pursue a relationship with me. Right now it's online dating (we live several hundred miles from one another) but a meeting is forthcoming and visiting each other shouldn't be a problem in the future. I'm divorced, successful (but not rich by any means), and intelligent. Am I setting myself up for disappoint, or given these circumstances, does it ever work out ~ if the distance between them wasn't an issue. I'm smart enough to know that online relationships can be full of bull, but let's just go with the assumption that this may be legimate. Thanks.....
2007-09-19 09:50:42 · 18 answers · asked by Kathy G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is impossible to tell what his motives are. He could just be genuinely interested in you. It does happen that way sometimes. I would be cautiously optimistic. Not just because of the age, but more because of the nature of your relationship.
Look at Demi Moore (Kutcher now) and Ashton Kutcher. They seem to be making it. Age is what you make it.
2007-09-19 10:00:46 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You ask:
"Why would a single man of 35 pursue a romantic relationship with an attractive divorced woman of 54?"
I answer:
Why wouldn't he!!!
I have read your question from end to end several times. You are selling yourself short. You sound bright and intelligent and if you don't mind me saying you sound like a "Class Act". If this guy is getting 10% or your attention I envy him.
The happiest couple I ever met were farther apart in age than you and this guy. He was always very quick to introduce his WIFE before someone made some remark about how nice her SON was. I have been at parties with them that were almost embarrassing. More than once I was tempted to turn a hose on them to break up the necking. That was one loving relationship. He worked for me for several years after her death. The day we parted ways he was still a mess. I doubt he will ever recover from her death.
For goodness sakes don't let a few years stand in the way of your happiness. A face to face meeting will give you more information and some dating in person will give you even more. There are no guarantees in this life but if you don't give this a chance you are no where near as bright as I suspect you are.
Now go get him...
2007-09-19 17:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok the simple answer is why not.
Perhaps you want more ok in 15 yrs he will be 50 and you 69 should he make it another 18 years he will be 68 perhaps he'll get lucky and live to the national male average of 70 you'll only be 87 or 89 of course it varys in parts of the states but the national average for females is 85,so most likely you will have buried him and either remarried or just gone on with your life.
Love is hard to find if you find it forget what others think hold onto it,cherish it,til death do you part.
All the very best
2007-09-19 17:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way to find out if you want to pursue a relationship with this man is to meet him in real time. My partner and I have been together for quite a few years now. We met online, chatted for a number of months by phone etc. before meeting face-to-face, found that the physical attraction was just as strong as the friendship, and that our initial feelings of soulmate connection were even stronger. We intend to marry in the next year. I'm a divorcee in my late 40s, he's a single, never married guy in his mid-late 30s.
2007-09-19 17:08:46 · answer #4 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that you are indeed attractive, it ain't ever the years, hon, it's the mileage. and tho this is almost a 20 year difference, if you stay fit, have any necessary plastic surgery done as things slide south, hell, why not? Maybe the guy is sick of the insecure bimbos, or dealing with some other man's kids... things for sure you have undoubtedly discussed. Personally, I never much worried about the age, and being older than you, I for sure have done the above...and look 10 years younger than women my age..!!!!! Age-wise, he is already 7 years older than his stated age of 35. If he has weight problems, cardiac problems or blood pressure problems, then it is even greater. Women stay beautiful longer, especially if they exercise, keep trim, eat a healthy diet, yeadyadydya. But, you will never know until you meet the guy.....
All the best, sweetie.
2007-09-19 17:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand that guy. Before I met my wife I dated only women that were 40 and older, I was 20 when we met. I have always found older women to be incredibly attractive because many times know what they want in life, not into games, bold enough to say what they want or do not want, not the silly teenage girl acts, and can have an intelligent conversation. I have found that most mature women are confident of themselves and can laugh with someone as well as at themselves. Just because he is 35 does not mean he is immature. I never dated girls in school or just out of school, always went for those 20 years older than me. It could be a very good thing. Best of luck.
2007-09-19 17:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If all you know about this man is what you've seen online. I'd advise you to not meet this guy alone for the first couple of dates. Continue to be cautious and smart because you never know these days. Good luck! And there is nothing wrong with a younger man pursuing you. Have fun.
2007-09-19 18:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by JG 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why not! he must find you attractive, intelligent with a great sense of humor. You are mature enough to know once you meet him that if he starts forgetting his wallet all the time, he's not for you! Go for it and Good Luck, oh and have FUN!
2007-09-19 17:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kathy G, Bless you hon, I am 47 and have always preferred older women ! I wish you kids the best. Is he a gentleman ? For me it was a matter of liking women instead of girls. Parents used to raise girls to be ladies and boys to be gentlemen ! I was born in 60 and I was raised that way but some of my friends were not. I am so happy for you ! May God bless your marrige !
2007-09-19 17:30:38 · answer #9 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he thinks that you are really cute. Maybe he is a loser who could not get anyone else. Maybe he is dying of a disease. Maybe he just thought, what the hey, I'll meet her and see what happens -- I've got nothing to lose. Maybe he is a con artist or he is just after sex.
Bottom line -- who knows? I don't know the guy. I suggest that you meet him in a public place so that he doesn't know where you live if you decide to bail out.
2007-09-19 16:59:19 · answer #10 · answered by Randy G 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋