Should I be flattered or guilty?

Question

I'm a married guy with one teenage son. My wife is one of the most annoying, and meanest people I know. But there's a lady at work who I talk to. I'll admit that I'm attracted to her but I'm not the cheating kind. She a sweet person and talks to me often. She's single. I've known her for about 6 months but since then she tells me about personal things in her life. I would never disclose any of this information because she's a friend. But she tells me everything. And says she loves talking to me. I find myself thinking about her whenever I'm not with her. I wonder why she chooses me to tell lots of things to when she doesn't confide in another lady of one of her friends. I wonder why of all peole she chooses me to tell the intimate details of her life?

Answer 1

Maybe she just feels comfortable around you and has no other people to talk to about things...women usually talk to men more often than other women because usually men will be less judgmental than a woman will.

Answer 2

Nash, you gotta think of your own happiness too. I'm not talking about you cheating on your wife or anything like that but your opinion of your wife tells me that you are one unhappy guy when it comes to your spouse. You sound like a good person and I am betting you are staying in your marriage because of your son. I am one to believe everyone should do everything they possibly can to make their marriage work but it takes two people together to find happy unity. Find out why your wiife is so unhappy, ask her what you can do to make things better, try to be cheery, etc...She may be miserable and feel the same about you and just trying to stick it out for your son's sake also. Maybe counseling is what you need together. As far as your co-worker and your questions are concerned I bet this lady feels comfortable talking to you because you are a married man who she feels she can trust. She obviously likes your company and feels safe confiding in you. I use to work right beside a young good looking single guy who I became very close with, I was married at the time. We talked all day while we worked and knew things about each other that no one else knew. I never had any other intentions and did not feel he did either, he respected my marriage and my friendship. I think you should feel flattered.

Answer 3

Well if she has never made any passes towards you then feel flattered. I myself am married, I have a guy Friend that I tell EVERYTHING to and he is the same way with me. We would never do anything sexual, but we do enjoy having someone that we can talk to, share all of our feelings with and not be judged or worried that our secret are not safe. We also ask each other advice on sexual things, remember he is married, I am married and we respect each others partners....we just need that good listening ear, so that is what we have

Answer 4

If there's attraction you're better off ending the friendship. I'm talking about personal experience. My husband and I were not getting along, and just like you he started talking to this lady at work it began just as a friendship, they woul deach confide in each other and talk about their problems, and one day he began having an affair with her. He says that neither of them was looking for it that it was just friendship and they don't know how it happened. But it happened and they held a relationship for a couple of months. My husband and I are trying to work thorugh this but, please if you respect your wife and don't want to hurt her, end the friendship before its to late and everyone will be hurting at the end.

Answer 5

I agree with a couple of other people....Men and women THINK and behave differently.

It sounds to me like she feels comfortable with you, and that is why she tells you personal stuff.
So far, it's OK.
BUT...You are both human-- and you may be playing with fire. Remember the saying: "Those who play with fire ....sooner or later get burned."....?

(Most affairs start up like this: "innocent" or "harmless" flirting and occasional lunches...then it's phone calls and text messages. Then it's this urge to hear or see the other person...and WHOA!
Suddenly you are confused and you feel like you are in love... So please be careful- and watch your step.)
.....................................................
I guess if you really think she's a nice woman and you don't want to hurt her feelings, tell her how you are feeling and let her know that although you are flattered, you are also uneasy.
If she has no hidden agenda and is not expecting an affair, she will understand you. Good luck....

Answer 6

i am sure you are not an idiot!! for one she is disrespecting your wife and she doesn't even know her but she knows of her right!! would she like it if she was married and some beezy was getting personal "chummy" with her man NO i don't think so!! she shouldn't be telling you personal things it is not appropriate and if your wife is as mean as you say i feel sorry for you when she finds out and believe me she will find out one way or another!

Answer 7

Because you listen. You have nothing to feel guilty about. But if you are uncomfortable with the situation, then you need to gently tell her that and ask her to find a nice lady friend to talk to instead.

Answer 8

Because she is trying to seduce you - at least that's how it sounds. Be very careful about this one. She seriously can sense your problems with your wife or maybe you've told her about them. She knows that your vulnerable and that you will give in on a really bad day. Be careful!!!

Answer 9

It may be that she finds you a good listener. Sure, she may be attracted to you, but if you have been just talking about her problems then she may see you as a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 10

You ever heard of “The Devil with the blue dress on?” Well that is exactly whats going on, Satan in tempting you, because you are not happy at home. The best thing for you to do is work on your marriage, and put some boundaries between this other woman and yourself. You should feel guilty. You are a grown man, and you know what is going on.