so now i want answers and i want to meet this girl to get her to answer them seeing as how my partner will not.. help need advice
2007-09-19 08:09:31 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in this situatuion it might be better to let sleeping dogs lie. It was 8 years ago it might feel like it was yesterday to you but if the relation with stood that then I'm sure it can withstand almost anything
2007-09-19 08:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness...please don't go dig up that pile of bones.
You will only end up hurting yourself. There are no answers that you want to hear, especially from her. You would have no way of knowing what she told you is BS or not.
8 years is a long time. If you are sure it is over and your partner is committed to you now, it is in your best interest to not meet this woman.
If you feel that you are stuck and unable to move on dealing with the affair then you should try couples counseling. There is also a good book called "After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful"
by Janis Abrahms Spring, PH.D.
2007-09-19 15:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by grtchi09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's 8 years later, you've stayed with your partner all of this time, and now 8 years later you "want answers"? Umm... took you a little while, huh? At this point, it's stupid to dredge it all back up. If you decided to stick with this person despite the affair, then you need to get over it. If your partner isn't being honest with you about the affair, then you need to end the relationship and move on. Neither of these options requires you to rehash the sordid details with a woman who slept with your partner EIGHT YEARS AGO. Leave her out of it.
2007-09-19 15:26:09 · answer #3 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this affair still going on to this day?
If not, then drop it! What kind of answers do you need - it was 8 years ago, for christ's sake. The statute of limitations had run out a long time ago. Give it a rest.
2007-09-19 15:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 years ago? And are you still with her? I think you need to get out of the relationship or get counseling if this has been on you for 8 years. Why drag her into your life now, sounds like you are asking for trouble a little bit.
I hope it gets easier...
2007-09-19 15:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by europa312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying your "Partner" had a homosexual affair with your father and that's what killed him?
COME THE HELL ON! Eight years ago and you are going to dredge up that old crap? Unless you did not know about it then, why worry about it now? If you did know and he's not talking why did you stay in the first place? Now if it's still ongoing, you need to keep the pressure on!
Either forget about it or kill both of them!
2007-09-19 15:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you want closure, and you deserve all of it you can get. I can imagine this - putting off talking to your partner and 8 yrs just flew by. Leaving the door to his affair open is not pretty.
First, get it from your partner. Build up the love and trust and get him to tell you. Without trust there's no intimacy. Snooping on his ex love kills your relationship even more.
Get it from him first, and then, think of getting it from the girl.
Because, if he doesn't tell you, what makes you think she will?
2007-09-19 15:30:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was 8 years ago! Let it go! You should have done something then, it's way to late now!
2007-09-19 15:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why after 8 years? That's kind of crazy!?!
2007-09-19 15:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to go and do that? So you can torture yourself?
Move on or break up. If you can't get over it you will end up broken up anyway since he will finally get tired of you bringing it up and leave.
2007-09-19 15:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋