If you found out your husband was handcuffed and dragged to a strip club for the bachelor party, about how long would it take you to forgive him if you do at all, and what would be your trust implications.
Note, He's never drank, smoked or been with anyone else but you and you are now pregnant with his child. And you found out about it from his mouth after a heated argument.
2007-09-19 08:06:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He may not have wanted to go, but he could have put up more of a fight. They carried him some and he had to tackle him to cuff him, but, he did admit to looking around some once he got inside. And the guys bought him a lapdance.
2007-09-19 08:12:46 · update #1
You are talking about someone who was physically taken to a place that he (a) would not normally go, and (b) has never returned to, before you were married!!!
You might not approve of the place, but it is not like he is going there every week spending money. He was taken there one time. What did you expect him to do, run out of there?
He went there, he looked around, and his friends bought him a lap dance. He was fully clothed, and did nothing but look at the women. I hate to tell you this, but looking is not cheating!!!
If you are on a diet, and you happen to walk by the bakery section of the supermarket and see the cakes and cookies there, and maybe even smell the aromas, have you cheated on your diet? NO!
He was handcuffed and taken to the club! He did not choose the location or the activities. He did nothing wrong!
If I told my wife that I was going to a strip club, her only comment would be "have fun, don't order takeout!!" We trust each other! We know that if I or she looks at someone else, that is not a threat to what we have.
He is not even looking! He looked one time and that was not even his choice and you are saying you can not trust him?
Marriage is based on trust, not control! You have a man who does not smoke drink or chase women. You are still trying to find something wrong with him!! Accept what you have, and be thankful!!!
2007-09-19 09:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, if he was handcuffed and dragged, then you can hardly be too mad at him, can you? He wasn't there for the strippers, but to support his buddy.
This would have no implications for me on whether or not to trust him. I do trust him--I'm sure that if my husband was in a similar situation, he'd look (because you can't not; heck, I'd look) but not touch, drink sodas all night, and be pretty uncomfortable. The same is probably true for your guy.
Sure, I might be miffed for a day, but no more than that.
Just because he went to this bachelor party doesn't mean he's about to turn into a hard-drinking, pot-smoking adulterer and abandon you and your baby.
It sounds like maybe you have other issues in your marriage, or you're hormonal from the pregnancy.
And yes, I'm a Christian--my husband is a pastor.
2007-09-19 08:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by Elissa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel about living a Christian life and how that conflicts with going to a bachelor party. If you are trying not to sin, then avoid all temptation and sinful situations. On the other hand, you have a devout and faithful partner whom you trust and do not have to worry about being drunken or unfaithful. I would approve because you know he is not going to do anything wrong.
2016-05-18 21:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad he comes home to you after he gets off work and doesn't go to the bar. Be glad he doesn't spend any of the hard earned money on tobacco. Be glad you do not have to go drag him out of clubs and catch him hanging on another woman or a woman hanging off him. If he went against his will, when you say: about how long would it take you to forgive him if you do at all, now that does not sound like a christian wife to me. You place that burden on him and you might start finding him in those places. Heed the old proverb: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. I am a very strong christian and I am thankful I do not have to look for my wife in those places.
2007-09-19 08:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband went to a strip club....not a big deal...it's a rite of passage for many men. There is nothing wrong with looking at naked women, it will not effect your marriage unless you make a big deal out of it. If he didnt get it on with a stripper he did nothing wrong.
2007-09-19 10:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by br_wy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. It happened before your vows and it should not be a sticking point in your marriage. Forgive him and let it go. Concentrate on your life together. He sounds like a good guy who loves you. Don't let this petty thing harm your marriage.
2007-09-19 08:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It was a bachelor party, relax he had some fun and didn't cross any lines (ie: cheat).
It's obvious by your question here you are the one who has him shackled down in your marriage.
2007-09-19 08:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it a break. He didn't sleep with anyone. He just saw some naked women dancing. No harm in that. Most guys love to see naked women dancing. He didn't touch.
2007-09-19 08:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
forgive him you are making a big deal of it
you are a Cristian woman and you know that the Lord forgives all of us sinners so why can you??????
2007-09-19 08:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was taken there against his will? Why is forgiveness necessary? He didn't want to go.
2007-09-19 08:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋