i lived in hope..then i hear my heartbeat..louder and louder..theres a pain..somewhere..it wont go away. I look at that door..its black with no handle..i can push and easily walk through. ITS INVITING...i been here before once twice maybe more.ready to go in..but then i looked back..saw reasons,needs hopes and a few dreams..so i walked away.But now i'm here once again outside this door..its inviting me again.. once more.i turn my head look back just to see..theres nothing there..nowhere..nothing..at all. i'm scared so so scared..i dont want to be here..i push the a little to see whats inside..its darkness..empty darkness and its cold..like my life. i stop to think..i think of you me and everything,everyone all who know me and those who dont..my life flashes past me..all those hopes i once had..there is no hope...thats my final thought...i push the door slowly and quietly go in...
by anita g..
2007-09-19 06:22:09 · 11 answers · asked by anita g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
2007-09-19 06:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by Nessie from Loch Ness 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very well written. I can follow your thoughts and emotions. I worry that you keep taking the 'familiar' route because it always messes you up. I am going to tell you what I believe you are saying and give advice, also, in case that is what you need.
First, you left all of what you wanted to be (your hopes) for love of a guy that isn't good for you. Stay away from the 'door'. (door = boyfriend) No handle means he isn't going to help you get where you want to be in your life. And when you decided to go back to him it was the same stuff - 'darkness - cold". Just like him - he still isn't there for you. You knew it - that's why you were scared. He's emotionally cold. When your life flashed before you, you realized all that you gave up for him. You think you have no hope to return to your old life because you & he messed your life up. Turn around and go back away from the 'door' (boyfriend). Run! It is scarey, too, but the dreams and hopes were yours and nobody has a right to take them away! If you go thru the 'door' (meaning leave him!) you will see the light shining on the people that still love you and will help you. I hope you will get strong and know you are worth more than what you are going through. Good luck!
2007-09-19 06:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by DPL06351 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very moving sonnet and I can feel the pain. A few suggestions for your consideration to help the flow I see it like this:- A tissue crumpled tightly in my fist I watched the scene, that in my mind, I store You grasp her tightly by her tender wrist As she resists, you shove her through the door I cannot stop the vision it replays Dark ugly shades barrage my eyes shut tight These memories have bothered me for days I contemplate; knowing I need to fight Sealed by day and night there’s a crucial bond To get my feelings through I must prepare Wiping my eyes, as light of day dawned She has a name; the same one that I share When all is said and done we are as one And on this paper, thin red ink has run
2016-05-18 06:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love writing and reading poems, and though I'm just a novice i like what you've wrote.
I hope happiness lies behind the door.
Have a nice day.
Richard :-)
2007-09-19 06:48:55 · answer #4 · answered by Richard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good, you have a natural writing talent. If people read past the first few lines and get hooked it's good.
2007-09-19 06:32:14 · answer #5 · answered by Spiny Norman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have got a great talent i loved it very deep though for some reason i thought of suicide hope u are OK u have got a great talent u can go far good luck:)
2007-09-19 09:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its quite deep isn't it about emotions n stuff, its good..... how old are you? You got a good thing there being able to write poems like that, u can almost imagine yourself being in the situation, its a good way to express feelings too.....
2007-09-19 06:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by mybabyefe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is sad but at the same time one is compelled to read it through,is it a poem or a personal experience,i wonder,either way i loved it,in a way it reflects my own life...well done.
2007-09-19 06:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by the devil wears camo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard way to take... nice writting... and I hope that door isn't a trap... take care...
2007-09-19 06:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by Jarb2104 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is it really a poem? it sounds like prose to me. but i think its wonderful well done.
i love it.
2007-09-19 06:29:33 · answer #10 · answered by Sameerah K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋