My daughter will be 2 when my 2nd is born...?

Question

and most likely I will be taking her out of school due to the cost and me possibley not going back to work (child care for 2 will be my entire paycheck every week and then some for a 2 yr old and a newborn). I was wondering 2 things, for working moms how do you afford day care/school for more than 1 child. Stay at home moms with more than 1, how do you handle a newborn and a 2 year old that always wants mommy and rarely naps!?!?!?! I feel as if I will dies if I keep her home because I won't get any sleep or be able to care for the newborn 100%. This is scarey the closer it gets! Ha ha, I am probably just worrying...I am sure things will be ok. I would just like to hear some of your opinions and get some advice!!

Answer 1

You gotta get some support from other people. Like a babysitter, or family. It'll be really hard at times, but it's the good Moms that stick with it.

Answer 2

You need to establish a routine at home for your two year old. Toddlers NEED routine, and rules and fair consistent punishment. The routine they need because they HAVE to know exactly whats expected of them and when. Rules to know when theyre not doing what they ought to, and punishment to teach them why they should only do whats right.

Once you have her on a good routine it'll be easier to put baby in it. The best thing you can do for sleep is to breast feed and co-sleep with your newborn. If you do it properly and safely, and when you are NOT drugged, its the best thing for both of you. You'll get the most sleep possible, and baby will have an easier time transitioning from being plural to singular. My doctor, midwives, and friends all encouraged me through this, and it honestly saved my sanity.

Talk to your daughter all the time about babies, baby siblings, mommies and daughters and siblings, what you expect from her, what it looks like (point out other big sisters, and encourage her to see how she can be like them, loving and patient).

Once baby comes be sure to give her the time she needs when you know she needs it, NOT because she's throwing a fit or trying to MAKE you give her the attention she needs. Wait until the issue is resolved before cuddling up with her and spending the time with her you know she needs. Otherwise she'll end up insecure and thinknig she has to beg you for attention or else you wont give it to her. Thats what causes all the tantrums and fits and chaos of having two children.

Keep her as a part of the team too, she can fetch diapers and kiss baby and talk sweetly to the baby and participate. Its good for her little ego and gives her the satisfaction of purpose.

ALWAYS ask and accept help from others. Start talking with the grandparents about them helping during the day for the first week or so, just so baby can get adjusted and you can recover.

As far as working from home, work the schedule around them, not them around the work. Dont put them away from you while you're trying to work (unless theyre sleeping) they can learn to enjoy themselves quietly in the room with you, since what they want it to BE where you are anyway.

Lastly, but most importantly, decide now that you are a powerful force, and that you fully intend to be the best mother possible no matter what. Find your resolve to get you through those first hard months. Trust me momma, you can do it, and you can do it beautifully.

Answer 3

I have twin daughters (now 3). It will be best if you can get your daughter to start taking naps. That way you can keep them on the same napping schedule, so you can get a break or a nap. It wont be easy. But you'll come out proud. And it is every bit worth it. Also make sure you have a helping hand outside of you husband, so you can get a break or spend time with him. Good Luck.

Answer 4

First, if you want to work welfare should help you with daycare. There are plenty of daycares that do a slider fee or give you deals for two children. Home daycares usually cost less than centers. I run a home daycare and I work with parents who dont qualify, but most do qualify...you dont neccasarily have to be low low income to get daycare help.

Second, I have two children of my own 6 and 1 plus I have a daycare with a 3 and 6 year old full time. After my daugher was born it was hard but they nap alot. Invest in a ababy sling to carry baby around in so you can still give the two year old attention. Have dad help you, ASK FOR HELP FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Make sure you spend time with the two year old without baby and include her inthe daily activities of the baby. She will evnetually get used to her and leave her alone.

Answer 5

My sons were 18 months, 2 days, and 11 hours apart, to the second. It worked out just fine, and they are happy, healthy, well adjusted men now. I quit to be home with my first son, and was on a layoff with my second son. I worked full time while they were little, and somehow I always came up with money for a sitter and daycare. I got alot of support from my family which was great because for most of their lives I was a single mom. You will be fine and so will your babies. Good luck! =)

Answer 6

my eldest was 4 when my second daughter was born, she didn't take naps anymore, but she was very helpful with the baby, she went and got diapers, wipes, loved helping bath the baby and put her to sleep. now my second daughter is 14 mo, and will be 15mo when my son is born, she's already practicing getting diapers, wipes, she's a lil young to help with baths, but the eldest will most assuredly do that, my point is, the elder siblings seem to enjoy helping out with the youngest, as long as they are getting their own attention as well.. i am nervous, i'm gonna have three to keep up with now, i don't see sleep in my near future.. but then grandparents live near by and they are always willing to come and watch the kids, or have the kids go with them so that i can rest.. i figure i'll keep my new baby who'll be here in three weeks with me and maybe send the girls with grandparents once in a while to get a nap in myself!
i'm a stay home mom, i can't afford child care for all my children, its less expensive for me to stay home.
things have a way of working out :)

Answer 7

You will be fine. If you need to return to work, maybe you could find a job working in the evening, so your husband could watch the kids while they are sleeping. Do any grandparents live close by? Ask around, sometimes, there are Mommy groups that trade babysitting. two children is not an overwhelming number.

Answer 8

my first was 4, my second was 13 months when my twins were born. it really isn't that bad! i am a stay at home mom, we have lots of fun and none of my kids feel or felt neglected. although all of my kids have always slept and napped well. so maybe that is why it did not seem bad.

i think you are just worrying too much!!! you'll be fine.

and i have no idea how people can afford day care hehe so i can't help you there.

Answer 9

I was 2 when my brother was born and I know my I actually helped my mom out a lot. I thought he was my baby. : ) I think if you can get your daughter to think of your baby like that it might help. Also try just talking to her. Tell her Mommy needs a nap, when baby naps, or take her with you and ask her to nap with Mommy. I'm sure you will get by just fine. Don't worry, you will figure it out.

good luck!

Answer 10

I work full-time and I have a 11 month old son. Have you considered asking a relative who doesn't work to help you babysit? They'll charge you much lesser than a regular daycare. My mother-in-law takes care of our son while we both work and we pay her a couple hundred every month. You'll probably need to find a higher paying job if you want to continue working. My husband and I make a lot over $100,000 a year, so daycare is not a problem for us. We plan to put our son in daycare/after school programs when he starts going to school.