Some people here seem to think abuse is a joke?

Question

I'm shocked to see how unaware most people are. Wife abuse is more then just some guy throwing a tempertantrum. Who here can say what it really means to have been abused. This is not a competition men, it really does happen. And women do die at the hands of someone they love.

Answer 1

both men & women abuse their partners.
women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner
men are more likely to be killed by a stranger
(more men are murdered in general than women--rates for intimate murders are about the same)

there is certainly nothing funny about abuse in any form.

Answer 2

Here is what I do: If I see some idiot has made a "joke" about violence against each other, I don't respond or answer their "question".

There is an old Chinese proverb: "Give evil nothing to oppose and it goes away on it's own".

These people are doing what is called, "trolling" or posting controversial or offensive questions in the hope of getting a rise out of people.

They aren't worth anyone's time and if EVERYONE ignored and reported them as abuse, they would have to grow up and join the rest of the world.

It is that child thing where if they are behaving badly, then ignore them because any attention - even if it is negative - is good attention.

Just don't waste your time on their silliness.


To the person who wonders why women stay in abusive relationships. The reason is because after weeks, months, years of systematic abuse, a person will become so beaten down that they actually believe the abuser when they brand the victim as useless or unattractive. It has nothing to do with love. We are talking about the fragile state of an abused psyche and it is shocking how quickly a confident person can go from being so to a bag of nerves afraid of their own shadow. In these cases, one mustn't apply their own personal experience to victims - unless the experience is of having a complete personality change and becoming dependent on the abuser.

Answer 3

I don’t like real abuse and am against it. I don’t run a charity of saving "abused" people and nor do I define my life as a fighter against "abuse". Hence I dont have a need to make more and more people abused, so that they will seek my help and I get something to live for. I would rather do something that will make the abused recover fast and suffer less.

It is easy to make someone suffer by propaganda. For example, as a Hindu, who revere all forms of life (Hindu propaganda), I am not at all offended if you call me "pig". But call a Muslim a "pig" and the pain and suffering from the offense will be so much, that person might hit you. Muslims regard the animal very very low (Muslim propaganda) The same act of calling someone a pig causes very different levels of pain and suffering and offense based up on whose propaganda you believe.

Similarly I have seen a lot of social groups trying to MAKE people suffer for things for which they would not have suffered. I have already stated what is in it for such groups and people. Questioner, you one of them? Do you get psychological or financial satisfaction from “helping” the abused? Do you want to expand business and open a new branch may be?

Answer 4

I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually as a child. I learned from experience that it might be better for the women to just keep their mouth shut and do as they are told without arguing about it. My mother was abused from 15-17 years old by my 21 year old father. The only nice thing he did for her was let her go to school and let her eat and put a roof over her head. Any man who hits his wife isn't a man at all but scum. I was raised to expect a beating if I opened my mouth and objected to anything my stepfather did to me or if I did something in school that was "wrong". Because of this I keep my mouth shut around my husband and don't argue with him much for fear that he'll hit me even though I know he won't. There are women who abuse their husbands as well. It's not just women getting abused but society and women in particular seem to think that only a man is capable of violence. That is stupid. You don't need muscles to abuse someone. So many men are afraid to admit that their wife abuses them because they'll be looked down upon and hardly anyone believes them. Also there are women that lie about being abused just to get custody of their children or to get attention which makes it very hard to trust all women when they say they are abused because they might be lying just to get custody of kids.

Answer 5

abuse is no joke, and it does go in both directions. However, I would point out that a vast majority of men are physically stronger than the vast majority of women. Women are killed by being beaten to death, Men usually by being shot or stabbed, some sort of weapon has to be used.
I would say that the abusive relationship is an enabling relationship. One party remains, and enables the other to continue abusing, and it always will escalate until the abused either leaves or is dead. There is no excuse, ever for physical violence in either direction, there is no excuse for tolerating it either. Violence is the last resort of incompetence in living.

Answer 6

Domestic abuse is an epidemic that needs to be dealt with. The men who post here whining that men are abused as well are merely convoluting the real issue. Both sexes suffer from abuse and feminist certainly are not denying these facts. Those who find it amusing are either looking for attention, shock value or have grown up in abusive homes and feel that this is "normal" behaviour.

Answer 7

Abuse isn't a joke. Neither is rape, or any other violent subject.

While I understand the men are trying to have a forum for which to point out that this does happen to them, I don't think it's understood that demeaning what happens to women helps their case.

In order for us to understand each other, it would be helpful if questions and answers were stated in something besides anger and lashing out. I know I am guilty of the same, but I am trying to take steps to curb it!

Answer 8

This question would have more bite if it weren't presented in a social context in which it's acceptable to lump all physical contact during conflict together as "abuse". It's a pretty standard practice in discussions of abuse to expand the definitions of "violence" and "abuse" to include a lot of behaviors that are relatively trivial, and to then press for a zero-tolerance policy regarding both. These practices water down the notions of "violence" and "abuse" in a way that alienates increasing numbers of people. For instance, the banning of games of tag from some schoolyards falls under the zero-tolerance, expanded-definition absurdities that come to fall in the same categories with serious abuse, and causes feminism's anti-violence positions to look ridiculous in general to some people. As it is, one has to exercise some restraint to keep in mind that the current state of the discourse DOES in fact include some despicable, non-ridiculous violent abuse.
___Two wrongs don't make a right, and I can't condone anyone laughing at authentic abuse, but I can understand why a lot of trolls might want to say to feminists, "You've made your bed of stupidity, so now lie in it."
___When feminism begins to examine how testosterone, which makes men's external behavior more likely to be violent, also makes men's INTERNAL EXPERIENCE of emotions more brutalizing to the men themselves, and how this makes men more vulnerable to emotional manipulation than women (on average), and how women's button-pushing manipulations also contributes to abusive situations, then femninsm can be considered as conducting some fair-minded inquiry, instead of the one-sided, solipsistic, self-deluding crap that it currently tries to pass off as intellectual work.
___And then all men will have to take it seriously.
___Feminism pretty much owns the serious discourse on these matters, and should clean up its own act before it complains about being laughed at.

Answer 9

Abuse in any form in not acceptable. The thing I don't understand is when a woman is abused and stays in the relationship. I'm sure it's because they are in love, but abuse isn't love. I have never abused my spouse but I would like to abuse some of the men who do.

Answer 10

i see alot of people like that in my own life and its very disheartening,it makes one feel very different and at odds with the world around me.all you can say for those people is that they have never thought deeply about anything in their life and conseuentially are rather ignorant.worse are the people who excuse abuse and say 'you can't say a thing to you'-yeah you cant abuse me im sorry!!