I know a friend for over 2 yrs.We both married. sometime we have lunch together. Recently, he keeps tell me, when he had sex with his wife, he always thinking about me.. is it weird??? but I still like him to be my friend....so what does he want???? how do i deal with him??? I dont want to hurt him..
2007-09-19 03:47:12 · 16 answers · asked by back2future 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men often fantasize about other women-- what's really not normal is that he tells you about it despite the fact that he's married. What does he want-- to get in your pants by making you feel desirable, attractive and sexual.
Manage this by openly and honestly telling him this behavior bothers you, that it's very inappropriate and that it borders on his asking you to have an affair. Let him know that you no longer want to hear it. Will he be hurt-- he'll feign pain and feel accused, but the truth is in there-- he wants to be with you and his ego will be damaged some.
This may not be the type of friend you want-- a man who will come on to you like this and be unfaithful (in his mind) to his wife, lacks substance, loyalty, depth and the ability to be faihtful to the one he supposedly loves the most. This is not someone I'd trust, given this.
You may lose this "friendship (if you now want to call it this)", but this may have less to do with you and more to do with his immaturity and feelings of infidelity with you.
A trist with him can mean 2 divorces, and all for someone who has difficulty with his sexuality.
2007-09-19 03:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a dog. He's also testing you to see if you take the bait. Obviously the guy is sniffing around so you know that he has a very low-grade character. Why would you want such a creep as a friend? Also, by testing you like this, he is showing you that he thinks you might have an equally poor level of morals so, in fact his comments are an INSULT. a true friend doesn't do that. Find someone else to lunch with, hon, because you are known by the company you keep and this guy is sleazy. Play with fire and you'll get scorched!!
2007-09-19 04:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a matter of your decision anyway. But if you want to keep what you said "I still like him to be my friend" you have to be a little bold. It is the nature of men (including myself) to benefit from such kind of sentiments. When you hear that he is thinking about you even when he is with his wife, poor guy have in his mind that you will calculate it as his intimacy towards you. Noooo not at all. This is just a tactic to get a free ride. If you like that it is up to you. If on the other hand, open your mouth and say to him " I just count you as my best friend only, nothing more than that". Then you will come to know his response and definitely he will show some kind of distance from that moment onwards. Anyway we are our own guide and master. Just think about it and act accordingly.
Byee
kutoos971208@yahoo.co.in
2007-09-19 04:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by Surettan S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is digusting, unprofessional and unnapropiate.
It's time to find another lunch date. You are both married for Christ sake.
He's trying to set you up for an affair. Back off now COMPLETLY. Tell him that his comments were disrespectful and unnapropiate and that you choose not to be treated/approached in such disrespectful way.
Good luck
2007-09-19 04:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, he wants to cheat on his wife with you. Tell him frankly you just want him as a friend. Invite your husband or other friends to go lunch together instead of always the two of you.
Don't risk your marriage to temptation......
2007-09-19 04:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by Charlyn Lim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him know that while I love him as a friend, and would hate to lose the friendship, that my morals don't allow me to interfere in the life of someone that's married, and that would include his wife, simply because you wouldn't want it happening to you.
2007-09-19 04:01:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must assume that you are a woman or this would be a weird question...Tell him that he is making you feel uncomfortable and that you don't want to be anything more than friends. I think you know exactly what he wants...you really aren't that naive...are you???
2007-09-19 04:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by Older Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him know that you and your husband are good and he need to work things out with his wife so he can leave you alone but just put it in the nicest way you can and top it off with a smile
2007-09-19 04:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jaysmooth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think you need to decide if you want to screw this guy or not.
If he keeps telling you about it you have obviously not asked him not to.
My advice, either tell him your up for it or ask him to stop talking about his sexual nights with his wife.
2007-09-19 04:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by Davey J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well since he started it all i would ask him what he would do to u to make u feel special, i wouldn't put out til he comes up with something that u don't get at home. and if he can't come up with it on his own then maybe suggest something to him that u would like. make it disgusting to see if he is sincere. then i'd say it was ok to put out.
2007-09-19 04:06:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋