Scared to death?

Question

I just found out I'm pregnant, and I'm scared to death. I miscarried my first pregnancy in March at 3 months. (The baby's heart had just stopped beating)I had to have a D&C (and then I was bleeding internally after that, and had to have a second, emergency surgery....but that's a whole other story) At any rate, we waited about 5 months to start trying again. And Monday I found out I was pregnant again. I am so scared of going through a miscarriage again. My husband and I desparately want this child. I know stress is bad for me, so I try not to worry, but because I never had a "normal" pregnancy, I worry that every ache and pain is a sign something wrong. So, I guess my question is- any advice on how to ease my mind? And also, has anyone been in my position, where they miscarriage and went on to have a normal, healthy pregnancy? Thank you

I know this is suppose to be a happy time, but I feel that I have been robbed of the innocence and beauty of pregnancy, and find it hard to enjoy it. =( And I want to enjoy it!!!

Actually, miscarriages are quite common. It was nothing I did. When the egg and sperm met, the chromosomes just did not line up right. It's so common, that miscarriages are not considered a problem with the parents unless it happens 3 times in a row. So, "hi risk" OB/GYNs will not even see you unless you've had 3 in a row. And they will not do genetic testing unless you have 3 in a row. The heart stopping was natures way of weeding out the weak. Something was just not right with the fetus, and it was natures way of correcting the problem.

RedNeck, are you listening to me- it was 1 miscarriage. ONE. Maybe in the Redneck regions of this country, 1 miscarriage is considered a problem, where you should halt all plans to have a family, however, in educated areas of America - like Chicago- they stress that this is common. It was one miscarriage. Why are you so judgemental? 60& of women will expeirence at least one miscarriage in their lives. That's the majority. See, now you're just upseting me. You better get educated before you go running you mouth on things you don't know.

Answer 1

You are going to have to relax!! I know that it's hard to not let your mind wonder if everything is okay, and obsess about everything that happens, but you need to remember that every pregnancy is different.
Here's my story. When I was 18, i had a miscarriage at around 3 months, at 20 had a very healthy baby girl (6lbs. 9oz.), at 23 had a baby that was born stillbirth (one of the hardest things that I have had to do in my entire life, plus had to explain to the waiting "big sister" that her baby sister had gone to heaven early), then in dec. of last year gave birth to a beautiful baby boy(7lbs 12oz, the most active baby I have ever seen!)
So.... every pregnancy is different! As long as your Dr. didn't find any reason for you not to be trying to get pregnant then I say "don't worry, and enjoy being a beautiful pregnant woman", let your husband and family pamper you and go splurge on cute maternity clothes- they will make you feel a little better!! Also call the Dr. every time you feel like you need to discuss something, that's what you pay them for! They should know your history and be very understanding. Good luck and God Bless:)

Answer 2

I had one baby, 7 yrs later a miscarriage and 6 yrs later another baby.

Each pregnancy was different in those first 10 weeks. My first nothing except excitement, the second nothing at all, the third sick from day 3.

I had no sign of my miscarriage until it happened. With you feeling this way my only suggestion is to try and take each moment that you think of your baby as that moment and try to get through it. As the weeks go on until you hit that 12 week mark the moments just might turn into hours and then days and hopefully weeks. Once you make 12 weeks the risk is drastically reduced.

There are babies after miscarriage, all babies are miracles.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You've got a lot of unknowns so the only thing you can do to ease your mind is just knowing that you're doing everything right.
You should be seeing a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancies. If so, that'll ease your mind that this doctor will be able to help in ways that a regualr OBGYN couldn't.
Follow the doc's advice exactly - the diets, the pills, rest, anything he suggests to do - no matter how small or how silly it may seem, do it with enthusiasm.
If you're doing everything you possibly can to help the cause, then your stress level should go down. With lower stress, it'll be easier for the baby.

Regardless of the outcome, I'd find out what's causing your miscarriages at some point in the future. It could be a genetic abnormaility that you can't do anything to change. It could be something where you can take a supplement before and throughout pregnancy to help reduce the risk. A reproductive endocrinologist or fertility specialist might be your next step. I wouldn't recommend trying for any more children until you know what's going on. That's not fair to you, your husband OR the unborn child that might not stand a chance at survial.

Answer 4

Reading your updates I think you know the answers already.

Think statistics (you are educated enough to understand their value). You are both healthy and this is your 2nd pregnancy. The prev miscarriage does not alter the stats for this pregnancy since there was no medical reason for it.

Just forget about the miscarriage, and be happy you are with a baby! You may have started too soon - before you got over the miscarriage. Life is uncertain in general. Just trust that nature will do its best this time as it usually does. Relax, and seek counseling to deal with it if you can't relax. Else you may make the baby anxious.

Answer 5

You know what, for some people, even if they haven't suffered a miscarriage it's a hard scary time for them...there is often a lot of pain and discomfort, and odd things that happen to you while you are pregnant....The only real way to ease your mind, is talk to your doctors office often...with every little thing if you need to, it's far better to be safe than sorry ( trust me they don't mine...I am now 8 weeks pregnant with my 4th child, and I have already talked to my doctors office on 4 different occasions about odd problems I was having )....there are also some great books out there...like what to expect while your expecting, and they can give you guide lines, and things to expect to happen to you...millions of women miscarry, often times without even knowing it...and go on to have beautiful healthy family's...a miscarriage or two is no indication that you can't or wont go on to have perfect babies. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 6

Sorry to hear about your first miscarriage. I too had the same exact thing happen when I miscarried. I thought the doctors were all nuts when they told me I had to have another surgery! After the first DNC I thought everything was done and over with, until one day I found myself bleeding and couldn't stop. I was rushed to the hospital. It wasn't until 6 long hrs later they told me I had to have another surgery to stop the bleeding or I was going to bleed to death pretty much. It was the worse thing I ever had to go through in my life. And to top it off it was my first pregnancy. So I am scared as well about being pregnant again. We ha vent tried yet, because I still have that same fear of going through that all over again. I guess you just have to look at this as a second chance and a blessing. they say that over 80% of women miscarry their first time. then go on to have healthy happy babies! So just have faith and stay healthy. Also I wish you guys the best of luck!

Answer 7

Speak with your doctor. Maybe there was a reason your miscarried the first time that can be prevented this time. Don't stress either, that could become a problem. Yes, pregnancy should be a time of joy, but I understand why you are worried. It is completely possible for you to have a normal and healthy pregnancy now. Just speak with your doctor, stay calm, and don't dwell on the negative past. Pray, stay positive, and surround yourself with people who are supportive of you. Good Luck & Congrats!

Answer 8

It is so normal to be afraid. I lost my first baby when I was 6 months along, like yours the heart just stopped, not sure what happened. But about 6 years later I had a happy healthy baby girl. I was just not trying for awhile so it's not like it took 6 years. Anyways, when I was pregnant with her, I don't think I really relaxed until I was past 6 months. I lost my dad when I was in my 6th month so I was very worried that all that stress on top of it was going to make me lose the baby too. I don't think there is really anything but prayer that can help you relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I won't say if it's meant to be...blah blah blah, cause that is not what we want to hear. God really does hear you and he cares so just spend time in prayer with him and he will lighten your heart!

Answer 9

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