I have a big problem with a family member, not sure what to do?

Question

My immediate family are all very close. The problem is we do not speak to a few members of our extended family. One of these members has caused nothing but trouble for everyone of us. This is my Aunt, who as a child I loved very much and looked up to. The problem is, a few years ago she spread so many lies about my mother and grandmother that it split the family for a while. She does not live near us any more but has recently gotten into contact with me through an website. The rumours and lies that she told about my mother were awful and I have since discoverd that she lies about everything. She has told people that she owns a lovely house, has a good job and her children have great jobs, she even said her grandchild had an illness a while back, which I know are all untrue! I am starting to believe she has an illnees because she lies about everything, the rest of the family say she is evil. I am starting to feel sorry for her, should I stay in contact or do you think it could do damage

Answer 1

Don't actually feel sorry for her but don't lose contact with her either...she is going through something and she needs someone there to help her..which is you..try to get inside of her and have her open up to you..and then you turn into a counselor and help your aunt because she is your aunt and she is family and family is supposed to be there for family NO MATTER WHAT one person has done to another..God is there for us everyday all day even though we are out here in the world killing each other and doing alot of wrong things and our ancestors were the ones that beat and killed him for no reason at all..Think of that and symbolize God by helping your aunt with WHATEVER she is ging through!!

Answer 2

Is this a blood Aunt, or an Uncle's wife? If she is not a blood relative, you have no obligation. If she is a parent's sister, it wouldn't hurt to monitor the situation. Try to keep contact to E-mails, without believing anything she says, and make enquiries about her through any mutual acquaintances. You don't say how far away from you she lives, or if she knows your address/telephone number. If she doesn't, keep it that way, you could end up with a stalker.
Presumably if she has children/grandchildren, they will see to things if she is ill, so if limited contact doesn't work out, you don't have to feel guilty.

Answer 3

It does sound like she is sick to me, if I were you I would keep the contact short and distant. Hey how are you : kind of thing. Just remember that anyone who lies like this (Ill or not) can cause trouble and pain for your family. You can't let your pitty for your aunt (who is an adult) let you put yourself in a position where she could hurt those close to you.
Try communication with your Uncle and Cousins, let them know you are concerned and encourage them to seek help for her.

Answer 4

i think its admirable that you are reaching out to your aunt in this way, despite the things she has said about your mother/family. I think that you should speak to your mum about how you feel - telll her that you think your aunt may be sick, and that the things she says are possibly beyond her control. Explain that you are not betraying your mum but trying to mend the problems in your family, and to help someone that is in need of it - although your aunt may not APPEAR to be vulnerable, it sounds like she really is. Good luck love.

Answer 5

If you can't believe a word she says why would you want to stay in contact with her? She will probably only cause more problems in your family, who knows what she'll be telling them about you?

Answer 6

Your Aunt has NO self-esteem at all... it's so low, in fact, that she has to make up stories to make herself look good....

That's not normal.. do you want to be involved with someone like this?

Don't feel sorry for her, but you could suggest some therapy. I wouldn't talk to her myself.

Answer 7

I know exactly what your feeling it happened in my family too and we are better off without those certain people and life seems to be alot better. So if i was you i would stay away as far as possible.

Answer 8

when it comes to faimly it's allways a hard topic but you are the only one who can make that choice and i'd let all ties go but when there is other people involed it's hard to but i would think that you could still have a relationship with them without her. and you need to think is she or would she start promblems for you she sounds like she needs help for attention promblems

Answer 9

I think it's your choice BUT if you do maintain contact then it could be potentially damaging if she continues to tell lies.

I would break the contact..

Answer 10

Uh, it is not any longer stressful to comprehend why the youngest is disrespectful. you could no longer restoration all and sundry. you will desire to do in spite of you will desire to do to regulate. At maximum, you should represent kin counseling. yet you could no longer tension all and sundry to flow.