Baby's Last Name?

Question

I was married, and had a daughter. When I divorced, I kept my married name, because I wanted to have the same last name as my child. I'm pregnant now, and will not be marrying the baby's father. Would it be wrong for me to hyphenate my new baby's name with my current (and ex-husband's) last name, as well as the baby's father's last name? I have no intention of ever changing my last name, regardless of whether I marry again or not.

Say, my last name (the name I plan on keeping for the rest of my life) is Jones. My new baby's father's name is Smith. What I am proposing is First Name, Middle Name Jones-Smith. ONE Hyphen. MY last name AND the baby's father's last name.

I have spoken with my ex about it, and his response was.."It's ok with me, after all, it's YOUR name too."

Answer 1

Whatever works for you and your little family unit is good enough.
If you get on well enough with your ex (whose name everyone uses) then it might be courtesy to at least explain your rationale for using his name in a biologically unrelated childs name.
Apart from that - its your business. Do what is right for you

Answer 2

I was always told that if you aren't married to the father, the baby either gets his last name (if he acknowledges the child) or your maiden name. Since your ex isn't the father, it would be wrong to have his last name as any part of this child's.
Lots of people have different last names from their children. Growing up there were 3 last names in our house. My sister's was different than mine, and both of us had different names than our mom (we didn't care that she had a different name either. She was our mom, that's all that mattered to me - our last names were never even an issue). We grew up well adjusted and normal. It's not the last name you give a child, it's the parenting that makes the difference. Don't worry so much about appearances. It is what it is.


edited:
I completely understood your question the first time I read it. my answer remains the same. If you are going to have a hyphenated name it should be your MAIDEN name and the father's name. It should have no reference to your ex husband at all. He has nothing to do with this child. You may not even be able to use your ex's last name anyway. In my state you can't, since it is your ex's family name, not yours.

Answer 3

Yes it would ber wrong. Giving a child the last name of a man you were once married to should be out of the question. You took this name because at the time you loved this man, his child has his name because she is his child, your new baby is in no way related to him and should not be attached to him in anyway. I understand you feel that this is now "who you are" and "your name" but ultimately it is the the family name of your first husband and should be respected as such. I would be very offended as your new baby's father that you would not give the baby my last name, and the idea of hyphenating his name with the name of another man would be a huge insult to many people. In the end to do so is creating undue conflict with possibly your ex/ your new bf and may end up confusing the child in question as it grows up and wonders why it has the family name of some man who it is in no way related to.

Answer 4

If the person that you are having the baby for doesn't care and your not going to be changing your name at all, then I would give the baby your last name. I have 3 kids 1 from my first marriage and 2 from my last marriage. I still have my 2nd husbands name because I don't want to have a totally different name then all three of my kids. I don't care what people think of me but I do it for my kids. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!

Answer 5

The law in most states doesn't give that latitude. When a child has no named father, the mother's maiden name is used. You can use the current fathers name, if he acknowledges or you prove, through DNA, paternity.

When a child has no named father (illegitimate, is another term) it is the mom's maiden name not her current.
Even if the law in your state says you have a choice and I doubt it does, the man whose name you want to use objects, he might well ba able to force a change. Since he isn't the father; using his name would be inconsiderate of him at the very least.

Were that me, I would force the change and could in my state.

Answer 6

Do not give your baby a name that has nothing to do with their father, but is the name of your ex husband. That will be nothing but trouble (not only with your ex and his family) but with the social security department, health department, and anything else that will have/keep records of this childs birth and life.

Give the baby your maiden name if nothing else and hyphenate that with the babies father.

Why would you keep your ex husbands name if your got remarried anyway?
I mean I understand having a child previously with him but I'm not sure I'm following that logic. (Please add details)

Answer 7

You can give your child any name u want. Personally, hyphenating the name makes no sense. I suggest you either give your baby the father's last name or your last name. I think your child would appreciate not having to eventually remember and sign two last names.

Answer 8

You should be asking the ex-husband & boy friend not us.
But since you did ask I will tell you.
NO you should not use the ex-husbands last name it is not his child. You lost that right when you got divorced & he is not the father. You should also use your maiden name not his.
Just the child he fathered should be using his name.
What kind of game are you playing on these men.
Don't say you are not cause you are or you wouldn't even be asking this ?.

Answer 9

Man that will be a lot of names. personally if it were me I would leave off the Fathers name.. you're not marrying him anyways.

I personally HATE hyphenated names. Sorry for those of you out there with hyphenated names.. it just bugs me.

Answer 10

Since that guy is not the child's father, you should not give the baby that last name. Give the baby your maiden name or the name of it's father.