No sex.......for married couple.?

Question

I and my husband are married for four years.

The problem is that I don't want to have sex with him while he is desparate having sex.He always tried to blame on my hormon ,but I know what the problem is.

Everytime I see him screaming crazily for tiny tiny reason toward me or my son, my feeling for him goes away.(ex.his favorite clothes not dry or my son spil juice on floor)

Everytime he break his promise that he would not scream ever again, my trust for him disappear.

I actually forced myself to have sex with him once. Then my husband was in a bad mood the next day , started yelling like always. Then he yelled "I felt like **** after I slept with you. You come around only when you want it. I never wanna touch you."

now, he ask me for sex.

When I just imagine having sex with him, I feel sick.

I know this no sex issue is causing more problem, but I just don't know what to do any more.

I tried explaining, but he just think I'm sick and don't even listen.

Answer 1

The end is near....see a councilor b4 it's too late

Answer 2

I can totally understand the problem. Let me begin by saying that it's not your fault, AT ALL! I understand that couples have problem when they have a different sex drive, and it's a massive put off for either party. He would resent your rejections, and you would feel that you're nothing but sex for him.

It's unfortunate that your husband is taking it that badly.

Personally I would have walked out on this so called relationship by now. But, I don't know how you feel about your husband, may be you still have a lot of feelings for him or perhaps he's very nice in other times.

I would sit him down and talk to him about your differences in sex drive; that you're not rejecting him, it's just because your need is not as demanding. Tell him you love him, and may be try injecting new activities into your lives together? a walk in the park? a stroll on the beach? get a babysitter and have a meal with just you and your husband... the possibilities are endless... and then may be you would feel that sex is a romantic deed rather than a chore?

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear that you are in this tough situation. Having read your story I can sympathize with your feelings, but I am not sure what your husband is feeling. It makes sense to me that you feel the way you do about his behavior, but I also think there must be some reason for him to act this way. Perhaps he is having problems at work that he finds difficult to explain. I think it's great that you've started a family together, this is a big commitment and will face many trials along the way. The time tested approach that works is to be patient and caring, do well in your other duties; when he loses his temper, try to be patient and let him have some space. We all get frustrated at times, and sometimes we just need a moment to realize this, and then we can go back to being ourselves.

I hope this is good advice and I wish you and your family well.

Answer 4

His anger is an issue and it might get worse. I would reccomend marriage counseling with a local pastor at a church or a therapist. IF that isnt a possibility or wonjt work, id consider a divorce. When it was just you two, it could have been okay and understandable. But you say you have a child involved and his safety and yours should be the top priority. If you dont give him any sex for a very long period of time he will cheat anyways.

Just like business is supply and demand. so to is a relationship.

If wal mart doesnt have nikes and you want nikes, ya goto footlocker.

If the wife doesnt give a man sex, he will wait. If he doesnt get any for awhile, he will goto another girl. Evidence of that and his anger issues will guarantee you custody of the child unless you are a drug addict.

Answer 5

This person is abusing you emotionally and it doesn't sound like a very good outcome will happen. Sure, counseling would be a good start but only if he would be willing to go on his own accord. He needs to address the fact that He, not you has a problem and getting that to happen may be difficult. Especially after he degraded you when you finally did give in to him sexually. You need to take a step back and think about yourself and your son and what you are worthy of in life. As a woman, you should feel safe, secure and attracted to your mate. As a mom, you need to have your son in a safe environment with good role models. God forbid your husbands behavior were to rub off on him in any way. I do hope that you can find peace and harmony in your life and know that you are both worthy of that! Good Luck to you!

Answer 6

You have 'hit the nail on the head' so to say, for why most women who are not wishing sex with their husband feel this way. When they attempt to communicate their hurt or frustration over something, they are belittled and the result is it ends up showing itself in the bedroom.

Tell him the truth, that when he disrespects you, it makes you hurt and angry and when you try to talk to him about it, he won't listen .... then, you hold onto these feelings and resent him; the resentment shows up in bed. Tell him you also want to be able to feel the desire again but you need his help to get to that point. If he still says you are sick, then he really doesn't want sex so much, does he? This must be dealt with; no matter how many times you approach him with your feelings, you two must talk about it. When he starts to scream, walk away - he'll have no one to scream at and soon will find his screaming will have no affect. If he tries to follow you and keep screaming, get in the car and drive for a bit or take a walk away from him. He'll be left to scream at the walls and not you.

Answer 7

well sex is a part of marriage. most happy marriages have a great sex life. i am sure when the two of you were dating you two were like wild rabbits and neither could get enough. now i dont agree with him raising his voice but i also dont agree with cutting him off cold turkey. if he does something nice for you counter that with a love making session and explain to him afterwards that when good things happen this is what happens it is returned with a touch. now if no matter what he does good or bad you dont have that feeling for him then i hate to inform you that the marriage does not have much more time before it is over.

Answer 8

You arent sick, part of being attracted to someone is liking their attitude and his sounds **** poor. I cant stand it either when my husband yells at the kids, Im like, they are kids leave them alone! He probably doesnt realize how mean he is and if he wont listen, maybe you need to give him a wake up call before all your feelings are lost, because once you lose feelings, they are sooo hard to get back, sometimes they dont. I threatened to leave once, I didnt pack any bags, I just mentioned that I wasnt happy and he realize how miserable I was and started looking at his behavior instead of mine, he put his self in my shoes. He got better.

Answer 9

It sounds like he's an emotional abuser. It's almost worse than physical abuse because you can't see the bruises and the scars. Seek counselling for your own sanity and your child's. I suggest that you and he seek counselling together if you want to work it out, but he is not going to change on his own. He's proven that you time and time again.

If he won't get help, get out. You don't want you son to think it's okay to treat women that way, and he will turn into his father if you don't make changes.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are not getting much from your relationship. You need to sit down with him and talk about it properly. If he won't listen I would consider going to counseling. If he still doesn't listen I would make steps to leave him. This cannot be a good positive environment for you to bring up your son in.

Answer 11

Sex is not the problem here. The problem is that you are married to an immature bully who needs some serious counseling. I can't tell you what to do, but if it were me, I'd be gone in 60 seconds.