Your husband is a physical therapist and is contracted out to work in a business where his job is to rehab patients. One day you show up at his job to take him out for lunch and you walk into his office and he's giving a younger girl a massage and has his hands inside of her pants rubbing her lower back and hips. This girl is an employee not a rehab patient. Then you overhear talk from other people that he works with that there may be a sexual harrasment suit filed against him because he has a problem keeping his hands to himself. What would you say to him, what would your reaction be? Please, serious replies only.
2007-09-19 00:45:11 · 18 answers · asked by genie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seriously divorce him. Hes using his position as a therapist to take advantage of these situations. If he had his hands inside her pants he cannot be trusted. You will never really be able to fully trust him again.
2007-09-19 00:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by emma157 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sure you were quite embarrassed. What you saw was unprofessiional and unethical. Good example of the talk going around about a sexual harrassment suit. He is a physical therapist and many are enthusiastic about their jobs and are very good at it. He may truly want to help anyone that may be in need of his services. However he knows a professional does not act in this manner. He must realize how easily things can turn ugly. It may have been somewhat innocent. Merely bad judgement. He is after all a physical therapist . Tell him what you heard and he should address the situation.I do not know how old he is or how long you have been married. Sometimes men of certain age go through a mid life crisis phase. This been married long time routine and do they still have it. It's not worth throwing your marriage away unless you find out he is truly a philandering piece of s---. you should know if he is sincere but sometimes when we are in love we don't see what we don't want to be true. You can't put so much into this that you lose your mind,and drive him away from being able to talk to you about his life and work as his woman and friend. But you can stay strong and protect yourself by being aware of what will be if the worst should happen and open a seperate account and start depositing immediately on the sly. if everything turns out okay then you just saved enough for a vacation with your hubby and enjoy it. If not stay strong and deal with it and believe me dear you will be okay either way. And yes he should definitely apologize to you for his unethical actions both in his work and marriage.
2007-09-19 09:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on there genie. Would you have preferred the patient to have on no clothes while he was massaging the problem area(s)? How do you expect him as a physical therapist to have a successful practice without ever touching his patients? Patients come in all sizes, ages, physical attributes, and races. A physical therapist cannot treat someone from across the room can they or without touching them? You got to understand these things.
How would you feel if your husband was a gynecologist and you walked in the exam room when he was performing an exam while someone was in the stirrups? This is why you don't need to be going in the room when he is with a patient. How would you or he feel if you were the one in the stirrups with your gyno and he walked in on you being examined? Do you think he would have reason to be upset? The medical profession is sometimes, if not often, a close relationship between Dr. and patient. DO NOT OVER REACT ON SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.
Could you treat a guy as a physical therapist with lower back pain without touching him? Touching patients comes with the territory. Without touching patients, I'm afraid he will have no practice and he will have no income and the house and other benefits you enjoy will be down the tube. Physical therapist don't get their name by just observing the patients do they?
Think about it.
2007-09-19 08:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down and confront him very seriously about the allegations and demand the truth. Don't be emotional, he'll use that against you. You be in control of the conversation, let him know you have the upper hand. But be calm and don't jump to conclusions based on gossip. You will be able to tell from his reaction if he is telling you the truth. If it turns out the allegations are correct, then you give him a choice: intense counseling beginning immediately or divorce papers.
In my opinion, it is not so much the fact that he has a wandering eye (and hands, apparently) that bothers me as it is the fact that it is a major interference in his ability to do his job, and thus, his ability to provide a stable life for his family. He could potentially lose his license to practice, as well as face a long and expensive court battle.
2007-09-19 08:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is definitely an issue you need to address with your husband sooner rather than later, otherwise it will drive you insane. He may just be a 'hands on' affectionate type of person, but no matter what, he needs to know that he has crossed the line and how uneasy it makes you. Don't doubt yourself, or your intuition - if this doesn't feel right to you then you shouldn't tolerate it. Also, does he have a history of flirtatious/unfaithful behaviour, such as in past relationships?
When you do talk about it, be calm and non accusatory, as this may force him to become defensive and angry (which makes him look guilty even if he is not). Let him know that you do trust him, but if he was in your position it would probably get him thinking too.
Keep your eyes open and trust your instincts!
2007-09-19 08:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by russh_lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would of walked him and smacked him to realty, it seems this is not the first time your husband cant keep his hands to himself. Your husband has serious issues and looks like he will lose his jobs and would having problems find another one as sexual harrasment suits will follow him. Not only that you mentioned a much young girl you dont mentioned age, if this is a minor he's looking at rape charges. Only you can decide if you want to be in this marraige.
2007-09-19 14:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by beliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be objective about this for starters - don't jump to any foregone conclusions. It's pretty impossible to give lower back/lumbar region massage without either removing pants or working inside them while the recipient is still clothed...As to the rumours.....go to the people concerned and ask them straight up what they are talking about specifically. Unless they have factual information for you, walk away!! Then discuss the matter with your husband, express your concerns at the rumours and advise him to be more circumspect in the manner in which he deals with people. If there are genuine complaints against him, these WILL come to the surface, and he will HAVE to tell you about it.....and make this clear to him during your talk!
2007-09-19 07:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by cautious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear you have a problem and your husband has a problem too! and this problem is not only bad for your marriage but eventually is going to be bad for your pockets because this type of harassment are usually well punish in courts.. now you have to sit with your husband and tell him what you saw, tell him what you heard, and immediately find a solution for this problem with or with out him, start thinking of you as one and see how this is going to affect you.. start to seek legal counseling just in case he doesn't listen or stop you will be taken care of.. sorry to say this sounds a bit selfish but no one is going to look out for you but you.. understand? what your husband is doing is unethical un irresponsible he will loose everything he worked hard for and the way is looking he will loose you.. but first try to get trough to him.. You will know for sure when is time to trow the towel.. good luck.
2007-09-19 07:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definately discuss it with him. Don't come across like you are accusing him of anything, he will only get defensive and not talk about it or say you are just jealous and insecure. I don't think this is the case, you have a good reason to be concerned. Maybe address the possibility of sexual harassment first.
2007-09-19 08:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by BNic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him, and if he says yes file divorce before you end up with nothing at all. Tell him what you say and how it made you feel, and let him know that you know there may possible be a suit against him. He may already know about it.
2007-09-19 08:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋