Being Wealthy is NOT all it's cracked up to be...do most realize this?

Question

To make a long story short I inherited money from my father 8 years ago. I wasn't expecting this...or at least as much as it was. I was not rich my any means prior I made about 80K at my job and I quit...I make several times that on interest alone and it really made more sense to quit and pursue things that I liked doing. Anyway...I couldn't believe how many friends and other family members started to behave around me...everyone and I mean EVERYONE was obsessed with my money. When you meet a new person they usually ask what I do, you tell them and within 5 minutes they all ask...HOW MUCH? Friends & family have all asked for loans or just ask for the money for free...I never imagined some that have...the nerve. I bought a house in Maui last year..it's the only place I can go where I'm not hounded about my money. I have given several million away, a friend, family members and charity. I feel like I'm in a glass bowl of amusement. I never thought it would be this way.


wisdom anyone?

Janice...perhaps I worded it wrong...I don't tell people right away, sometimes Months go by...most people don't know, I didn't mean to give that impression

Answer 1

I grew up in a family that always struggled financially.
I married a man who's goal was to be a millionaire by the time he was 30. Why I ever married him is beyond me. My goal was the work for a couple of years in a third-world country. I would deliver baby's & teach well baby & mom classes.
We were the two most opposite persons on the planet.
I went in to marriage forever. But, when I figured out he lied about everything & made more money than it told me. Then he was diagnosed as being a narsistic-sociopath. I came from a family that didn't lie to each other.
Well, when I left him...I left a huge 4100 sq feet house that I have designed. It was warm & homie. When I realized that the man I married was a con man ...etc. I got away. I gave up a comfortable life. We had four cars.. A swimming pool and was customed designed. I often teased that I picked out every nail that went in to the house. We went to Hawaii often.
My X was obcessed by appearences. I was the pretty wife. The kids were his show pieces...until they rebelled in the teen years. Then he just pur them out of his mind.
It was really an amazing home.

The bling bling was not me. I am dow to earth and homey.
When the two youngest kids were rebellous teenagers I realize the depth of my husbands betrayl. I had no clue that hte man I loved & I knew he was difficult, but I did all I could to save the marrrieg.

When I moved out of the big house I knew what I was giving up. I moved in to a tacky apartment. I hadn't worked because I was both mother and father to the kids and my X moved us every 2 or so years. Eventually companies caught up with him and he would be fired. In his personal explaination he said that he gets hired to whilp things in to shape. He would say he need to be there was gone. Or that the company redorginized it's structure of upper end bighshots and he worked his way out of a job.
Ok.....to my point. I gave up the righ life and don't regret it.
Sinse he lied to the courts about his income I get around $1,400. short a month. He basically took the money, hide it and ran. He is getting older and it is harder to keep his lies straight He juggles money & gets himself in to a bind.

The key here is that I gave up my career to be the housewife/mother while he climbed the excutive ladder.
I am so glad to not be married to him any more. I have been asked why I left such an easy life with all that money.
I have no regrets of what I did. I am much happier without the money. Money isn't what life is all about. I have learned to be content with very little. sure I have my self pitty moment, but all in all I am happy. I was jipped out of a great deal of money.
But, I continue to be healthy inspite of my poverty. Point is.....money doesn't buy happiness, you can learn to be happy in all situations/

My mother has a cousin whos son won a huge amount of money in some state wide prize. They said that they had faimily come out of the woodwork. At first they helped some people and orginatizations that were important to them. Then they moved from Minnasota to Arizona. Kept their hone number unsearchable. They didn't pass out notes of new addresses. They found a way to make it work. Enjoy it.

Find people in your new area who arn't impressed at who he was. There were other sports car. They learned to say no..

family has kept the new address under wraps. They started a new life where people loved them for who they are and not what they have.

Meanwhilw. I made the decision that I would rather live in a coardboard Box whti a good man and I know for a fact that with all my x husbands big money & trips........the material things felt hidious compaired to a beauty. I drive a Neon now. I often shop at goodwill orf clcothing. I would much rather live under a freeway over pass then to fight.

Money is nothing without love & purpuse. Learn how to say NO and stick to that. Do some charitabe work. Invest money. Give gracously to those you choose to help.

Make sure your windfall isn't common knowledge among you new friends in Hawaill. Just be who you are. Give when you want to and don't give if you don't want to.

I keep falling asleep at the compputer, I hope I made sense.

My wisdom is..........it is your money.....be generous when you want to be. Find orgainzations that is non profit and truely need your money for a cause that is near you heart.
A move might be good for you. And don't tell people about your winning anything.

I would recommend that you do some volenteer work so that you are giving to the community because your time and effort and just as important as the money. Sometimes give some money away anomonously.

Watch out and don't over spend. Many of thisespiooooooooooo LOL falling asleep again.

I wish you the best. You are not defined bt your money, But then give freely. Your spirit to love & enjoy money will be much greater if you use them for the good.

In all things search for balance - peace - contemtment.

Make sure if you are single that if you met a lady she will be more interested in you and being gracious & givinddddddddddddddddddd LOL I fel asleep.

I am off to bed.
one more thing. Change your name if you have to. People will continue to come out of woodworking looking for a handout.

I wish you the best & that you can find some peace & some wonderful ways to spend your money.

God Bless

Answer 2

i do no longer think of you're perfect, yet whether you have been, I communicate for myself! And the tea events are not almost taxes. they're on the subject of the out of control spending besides! Even liberal journalists are admiting that Obama will ought to improve the taxes on everyone to pay for his spending! the only decision may well be to print money, making our dollar weaker. meaning you may get a pay improve, yet once you communicate approximately the identifying to purchase means of the dollar is weakened critically (which might take place to a super degree if Obama keeps printing money) then you will have the skill to purchase much less with your money. We might get to a time the place middle type must be making $one hundred twenty five,000 to make ends meet. you will likely no longer be prosperous, yet because of the fact the dollar is devalued a lot, you earn sufficient to be categorized as 'prosperous' & you get the severe tax fee. that's the type of factor i'm protesting. And the wide-unfold increasing length of the government, no rely if a republican or a democrat is in value!

Answer 3

Maybe you put yourself in this position. You are the one who has announced you quit work. When asked why, you tell. You haven't made it a secret about your wealth. It brings the worms out of the woodwork. As far as what to do? Now you have to enact damage control. Simply say "NO". Tell them your remaining inheritance is invested. But for the most part, I'd say the damage is done.

Answer 4

I can see how that could happen, but you are in control of your money. You now know who your friends are and you can choose not to be friends with them. When you meet new people, don't tell them about your money. You are living the life most people only dream of. Concentrate on the good.

Answer 5

Without wishing to be unpleasant, it is difficult to have much sympathy with someone complaining about the side effects of wealth. I can understand it might be disappointing when someone you like turns out to have financial motives, but just count your blessings, and try and be tolerant. People can't always control their baser instincts, but it doesn't mean they are bad people.