My husband and I have been together for nearly 7 years and we have a one year old little boy. We're currently looking into buying our first place but he's acting like he's not interested or bothered. I'm the one making all the appointments with the real estate agencies and searching for properties to look at. At the last appointment he didn't even want to go see it and I ended up going alone. I don't get it. He says he want's us to get our own place but why isn't he showing any interest or effort?
He's since more cold with me and distant and acts like a child having tantrums. My friends say he's feeling the pressure of having to make a huge loan but everyone goes through this. I'm tired of feeling like I have 2 kids to look after.
2007-09-18 22:09:52 · 11 answers · asked by Drou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It was his idea for us to buy in the first place. We looked into what we could afford and he was very possitive about it. At first he would look through the properties I'd find and say which ones for me to make appointments to see but that stopped. It's totally out of character for him to be like this. I've tried talking to him about it but he just doesn't want to discuss it.
2007-09-18 22:19:55 · update #1
Thanks for the responses. It's not just the real estate he doesn't wanna talk about. It's everything. He just closes off.
2007-09-18 22:22:45 · update #2
You didn't mention your ages, but anyway that could be a legit reason but it sounds like it might go a little deeper. Try to have a heart to heart talk with him. You've been married to this man for 7 years, what does your heart of hearts tell you. If he still wants to drag his feet do what is best for you and your child. Peace.
2007-09-18 22:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK Dear, keep your head on straight. Something is going on here and you don't have the proper information to be able to deal with it appropriately. Set a time for the two of you to sit down in a quiet place and have a real talk. This is a must for you at this point. You are about to embark on a new phase of life, major mile stone. It is advisable for you as a couple to establish some firm ground work here.
Both of you need to know where your at and what exactly is going on, and where you want to go. You don't have to be on the same page but it's advisable to be on the same chapter or reading the same book!
There could be a lot of reasons for what your describing here. Yes, stress could be part of it. But, that might not be the reason for this behavior. It would be my guess that there is more to it. What ever it is I think it is something you both need to deal with before you purchase a new home. Build (or buy) your home on a rock Dear... not on ground your unsure of.
Best of Luck!
2007-09-18 22:37:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes one person can be more enthusiastic or obsessive about a big decision like this than another. Are you guys talking about anything else outside of the home search at the dinner table or in the car? Maybe he just needs a break from the topic.
Men and women face different topics differently. My wife becomes obsessive. Does tons of research on the internet on homes...constantly on with the real estate people...everyday has 6 new listing for me to look at, etc...etc.. This is all helpful work, no doubt. But sometimes I'd like a break from the subject. Have a day where we talk about something else. I think she sees this as avoidance. I see it as simply needing some variety in our day.
2007-09-18 22:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by BAM 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Looking for a new home can be very stressful and overwhelming. Could be that he is not adjusting to the thought of change as quickly as you are.
Best thing you can do is just talk with him. Ask him if he'd prefer to wait a little longer. Let him know that you are more concerned about the happiness you two share than you are about moving.
Patience and understanding are the order of the day.
Good luck, and best wishes to you and your family.
2007-09-18 22:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
May be he is not interested in buying the house right now or may be he has some interests like buying a car or may be he thinks that at present you both can afford only a small house but he might actully wants big, its happen with every one and I suggest that you sit with him and talk in peace , dont shout and try to know that what he wants and when he wants
2007-09-18 22:17:19 · answer #5 · answered by Vikram 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Where do you live?
The housing bubble is popping. You may be better off waiting 6 months to buy cash at a very cheap price...rather than taking out a loan with major interest.
He is probably scared seeing all this about the foreclosure crisis on the news...
Or he is just afraid to settle down
2007-09-18 22:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by ☺☻☺☻☺☻ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
from time to time adult males will commence performing unusual whilst there's a metamorphosis in existence. possibly he isnt cheating. Is there something distinctive occurring in his existence? something distinctive will exchange a mans physique of recommendations. I desire I knew greater, like his age and each little thing too to greater effective answer this. I merely understand that oftentimes my husband will conflict by way of sessions of performing unusual, and its no longer because of the fact he's cheating because of the fact such as you suggested approximately your guy, he's so lots greater effective than that. So, talk with him. perhaps he is going by way of a metamorphosis and you're blind to that.
2016-11-05 21:34:10 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't see a future here, may be having an affair with someone else, this is how they act when they don't really want to be where they are at. it seems to pretty much be a pattern of behavior in people not just men who are having an affair. its hard to see it when your in the relationship and so close to it. his behavior will tell u where his heart is at. he seems to have no want for a future.
2007-09-18 23:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Settling down can be hard for guys, we have a natural fear of being tied down. Give him time to get used to it, and help him find the stability to make it work. Women are better at that, and your advice and support can be very helpful.
2007-09-18 22:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by Steve C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are pushing to put the both of you in tremendous debt,yeah its a hard time maybe your looking at more than you can afford and he's getting a little annoyed with you maybe you need to back off a little
2007-09-18 22:14:52 · answer #10 · answered by jmcslob 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋