Hey everyone! Before I get started, I just want to say that we all make mistakes in life and this mistake is the biggest one that I have made. My wife and son did not move with me to Italy because my wife decided she did not want to be with me anymore. We are still married but been separated for 8 months. We are going through a divorce right now. I met a beautiful german woman 3 months ago..she is crazy about me and I am crazy about her. I don't ever want to lose her. There is something wrong...I have not told her that I was married and have a son. There reason why I have not told her is because I waited so long to tell her and I didn't think that we would become so serious. I want to tell her but I know she will be upset and will not trust me again. A couple of days ago we told each other that we loved each other. I need all the assistance I can get.
2007-09-18 21:01:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
JDog, you admitted you made a mistake and it seemed you did not regret doing it. You have meet this German woman for just 3 months and this is not a long time. Besides why are you worried about the situation when you said, you and your wife are going through a divorced? Even if you wouldn't tell the German lady the truth she will find out that you are a liar and is cheating your wife. I suggest, while its still early, tell her that you are still very much married but is already bored of your wife and want to change to a new one. I think she would give you credits for being honest about your going astray.
2007-09-18 21:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by still 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
J-Dog, u better hop over to a lawyer and pop up w/ some divorce papers, so when the day comes u want to tell your new gf, she won't be as mad. I hope u didn't already tell her u were never married or something to that extreme because this really should have been out on the first date. U better make it special, 4 real. The fact that she doesn't like live in the same city or something should help when u decide to tell her, but u better do it w/ some legal papers, bro.
2007-09-19 00:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by crystal g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, you are still married until the divorce goes through. So, I can understand if this new woman would be upset at you if and when you tell her. If you don't tell her, she will eventually find out and then it will be double bad for you. You need to come clean about everything (your wife, the impending divorce, your child, your lies) - tell her that you love her, you understand why she's upset, you're sorry that you lied to her, you were afraid of losing her, and that you are leaving it up to her whether or not she wants to continue the relationship with you.
2007-09-18 21:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her. You can keep it a secret until the divorce is final, but eventually she's going to wonder where the money is going (I'm HOPING you will be paying child support) and she might wonder about secretive phone calls to the ex and your son. If you keep things from her now, imagine how the trust will be broken if she finds out some other way. You'd lose her forever, but you have a chance to save it if you tell her the truth and why you kept it from her. If she truly loves you, she'll keep an open mind and, hopefully, forgive you for not being forthcoming with your family.
2007-09-18 21:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by Instructor_Z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
JDog... Well you got the name right. Ok, yes you have made a mistake but why in the hell are you here? Your just wasting time and I think this you know. This is not rocket seience. You and your wife are done and I trust that the papers are in the court system. 1st, you should have told the girl about your soon to be x and your son. So you have already lied to her. You only got one option hero. Sit this girl down and talk to her. Tell her the truth. She will eather stay with you or she will leave.
2007-09-18 21:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by latenight1010 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Close one door before you open another--no man or woman is strong enough to support all this emotional baggage--and no woman likes a sneaky liar--that is the way you will look if you don't tell her the story NOW !! Get real and do the right thing--if she has a problem with that--too bad !! You have to settle the divorce first----you aren't the first to get a divorce--but you are one of the few that is doing this new girl thing all wrong. Better tell her!!
2007-09-18 21:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might as well tell her now, sooner is better then later! I think the best way t tell her the truth is while lying next to after making love and telling her how much you love her then break like this I've been hiding a horrible secret that has been breaking my heart and killing me..... then you can end it with i love you blabla and i can't picture my life without you!
But if it doesn't turn out how i thought then you deserved it you should of told her the truth from the beginning!
2007-09-18 21:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by Amy ;) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that now that you have confessed your love to each other, you want her to know that you are in process of a divorce and that you have a son. If she asked why you did not say anything to her, tell her that it is because you like to keep your personal business to yourself until you know exactly how you feel about the other person. Tell her that it wasn't that you were intentionally keeping anything from her, but that you are just a very private person. Tell her that the reason you are telling her now, is that you love her and feel that she needed to know now that your feelings for each other are clear.
2007-09-18 21:08:59 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her right away and just explain it like you did here. Let her know that it's the biggest mistake you've ever made and didn't think the relationship would get this far and now you are afraid of losing her. Let her know all of this and give her time alone to think afterwards but call her and let her know that you love her. Just call to say "I love you" and that's it. do this in a private setting.
2007-09-18 22:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first if u think she would be put off by your child and wife then maybe shes not the right person. You should have been totally honest. You are cheating on your wife also? hmm I wonder why she left you in the first place? does it have anything to do with you not telling the truth? She should have been put off by the fact that you are still married though.
2007-09-18 21:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋