Hey everyone! Before I get started, I just want to say that we all make mistakes in life and this mistake is the biggest one that I have made. My wife and son did not move with me to Italy because my wife decided she did not want to be with me anymore. We are still married but been separated for 8 months. We are going through a divorce right now. I met a beautiful german woman 3 months ago..she is crazy about me and I am crazy about her. I don't ever want to lose her. There is something wrong...I have not told her that I was married and have a son. I want to tell her but I know she will be upset and will not trust me again. A couple of days ago we told each other that we loved each other. I need all the assistance I can get.
2007-09-18 20:12:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to her
2007-09-18 20:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by raameen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to be honest with yourself and identify the reasons why you broke up with the mother of your child. If you don't identify the problem. The same thing will happen with this new person. You cannot just one day decide that the mother of your child is not the right person for you anymore or was it your dishonesty that brought that relationship to the end. Anyway you must tell her now before it gets out of hand. If she goes better off for the three of you. If not she might be a keeper. But any wise lady will be suspect why you have not come out and said i love you but this is the garbage i am bringing with me. She may also have some secrets she has not told you but own up man.
2007-09-20 15:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by olajideojel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you asked yourself why you haven't told her in the 3 months that you've been date? most women would be concerned that if you kept something that important from her what else are you hiding??? If i was you i'd find out for sure when your divorce will be final... then sit down & tell her you need to tell her something very important explain to her that you really weren't sure were this realationship was going in the begininng & now you are! you know you should of been up front with her about this &your sorry! by showing her any paper work about your divores will help her believe what your saying to her now!!! if you have any other secrets nows the time to be open with her about everything!!! remember... honest should be the foundation to your relationship don't let it continue on the wrong track. Besides you must not forget about your son... he'll always be in your life somewhere...
2007-09-18 20:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by Holly s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to close one door before you open another...You have got to tell her about your situation. It is only fair to everyone and YOU will feel better by doing it soon. I mean soon !! This woman has a right to know and if she walks--you learned a valuable lesson about honesty and integrity. Sorry about your situation but get done with the divorce so you can put your entire concentration on a new woman--right now you can't possibly be balancing both situations--your emotions can't possibly be handling this in an adult manner. And stop with the love talk--you are not near ready for that. If she is an understanding woman, she will appreciate your waiting and that is a fact--if she gets mad, it is understandable but unfortunate.Good luck--stay focused and take it slow.
2007-09-18 20:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing someone for 3 months is not a long time in the scheme of things. It's not too late to tell her. . .yet. The longer you wait, the harder it is to bring it up. Be honest with her, thats the best thing. You are going thru a divorce so hopefully this other women is not getting you on the rebound and you truly love her. She should be ok with it since you're both still in the learning about each other stage.
2007-09-18 20:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Azul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definetely have to tell her.
I know it will be hard for u, but if you love her you have to tell her now before she starts getting serious with you.
Tell her you love her and that you have made mistakes in the past, i'm sure she will agree the same, tell her how you had another wife at a time but you didnt work out and that the way you feel for her now is much stronger then for how you felt with your wife, tell her you love your son and her only and i'm sure she'll understand./ Just be Honest.
2007-09-18 20:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. well, you ARE going to have to tell her you have a son. Your son needs you in his life.
Be honest with her. Admit that you did something that you truly regret (not telling her sooner) and before you can have a life together you need to tell her the complete truth about your past.
You will be amazed at how forgiving and understanding women are, especially when the grievance was done out of fear of losing her and you are racked with guilt.
Tell her as soon as possible. Women DO NOT like to be 'strung along'.
Good luck!
2007-09-18 20:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anne Noble, Director 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard one to offer a single answer to yet fairly demands some exploring. In concept you attempt to adhere to the perfect methods of dealing with unfavourable situations, well mannered, civil, calm etc.... yet whilst it comes all the way down to it if the themes are provoked to the factor that they grow to be burning themes then the survival instinct kicks in and that i continually desire that when that occurs that I easily have not made an entire and utter disaster of issues with my reaction. i'm asserting that I emotionally show myself, might ought to cry, might ought to rant, might ought to confront and then blow off the steam based... no rely if that is something unhappy like maximum cancers or a heart attack finishing yet yet another existence then for me individually that is internalizes. I take that to heart and it adjustments and outcomes my each concept and action yet under the exterior and that i do no longer administration, that is an instinctual reaction telling me to stay my existence as actual as i'm able to considering you may nicely be long previous in an on the spot. keep smiling back at you....:)
2016-10-19 01:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you in fact do not want to be with your wife any longer nor she with you, file the paperwork and get the divorce started. Get copies of the paperwork. Then, after an extremely romantic evening, tell your new love that you wish to impress upon her the sincerity of your feelings toward her. Explain your dilemma and explain that you held off telling her, as you wanted to be sure in your own mind. Show her your divorce papers and tell her you want to never lose her.
2007-09-18 21:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell this lady the truth. Believe me honesty is too important in a relationship. Three months is not too long. The sooner you come clean, the better. Do not begin a relationship with lies. You have no idea how I long to be in a trusting relationship. At least when one knows what he/she is up against, they can tackle the situation. But not knowing is agonizing. Best of luck to you.
2007-09-18 20:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her. Tell her that you didn't know that you would develop the feelings that you have for her and that you don't want to lead her on or leave her out of a very important part of your life. Make sure you say "sorry".
2007-09-19 13:21:45 · answer #11 · answered by LonelyLeo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋