My friend recently had a baby and she is having a lot of trouble tryng to settle her. The problem is soon as i hold bubs she seems to settle and we seem to be doing the same things. Its making the mum feel as if she is doing something wrong. How can i make her realise its not her fault.
2007-09-18 19:43:58 · 3 answers · asked by pink_football_roar 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I have been. She comes and says take her.
2007-09-18 20:12:26 · update #1
If the mum is coming to you and saying take the baby, the baby is probably picking up on the mothers anxiety and when you hold them it is content and more settled. Of course this would make the mother seem like she is doing something wrong, especially a first timer with a newborn. You need to speak to your friend and tell her that because she is stressing out and anxious the baby is picking up on it and becoming unsettled. Maybe if mum finds a way to relax and de-stress she might be able to find a way to soothe her baby or the baby will feel mums relaxed and settle itself. Do tell her that she is doing a great job and that she needs to find an outlet like exercise/gym to relax her. Offer to sit with the baby while she has some mum time and make her see that she can do it and it is not her fault at all. Maybe look out for signs of Postnatal depression also and speak to the hubby if you have further concerns that you don't want to bring up with her.
Baby's pick up on so much energy we don't think about so I think all it will take is mum relaxing and tuning in more to the baby's needs and not stressing about it. Tell her that it is okay to put baby in the crib, walk out for a few mins and shut the door and take a few deep breaths before trying to settle it again. Nobody is perfect and everyone needs time to adjust to a new baby.
Best of luck
2007-09-18 20:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage your friend to try to nurse the baby. Often times the combination of milk and skin-to-skin contact can calm an irritable baby. This will help soothe her stomach, make her feel safe, and will also help her to bond with her mother. You can reassure the worried mommy that this is something only she can do!
Of course, if she has chosen not to nurse, you may suggest that she be the only one to give the baby a bottle for a while. This will reinforce her role as the nurturer.
You don't need to disappear; now and then it's probably nice for her to have a little break while the little one rests with you. Just be sure to leave the feeding to her until she's more confident about her ability to calm the baby. Her confidence will also put the baby at ease. Until then, just continue to be a great friend!
2007-09-19 03:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Dominique C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to give the Mom some space...it's overwhelming enough, having a new baby...dont pick the baby up at all. Advise her to give it a bath and the swaddle it nice and firmly in a cotton sheet or thin blanket.
2007-09-19 02:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋