This really pissed me off...?

Question

I was talking to someone, and I said to her "I am only 19, but I have been through a lot more then a lot of adults have".

And she flipped out. And said, and I quote
"You are just a child. I have had a awful life and learned from it all. I know how cruel the world is. My father beat me my whole life, I have lost best freinds, I have been in relationships and you are just a naive child."

I got very upset when she said that. And I blew up on her.
I baiscally screamed back that everything she just told me was just a smidge of what I had to put up with as a child.
My mom worked from 5am to 9pm and I was 9 years old and taking care of my little sister. I fed her and took her to school and I gave everyone dinner and cleaned the house. I never had a childghood of my own, and it pissed me off that she called me a child.

I know I am 19, but the last time anyone helped me with anything was when I was 5 years old and my mom taught me how to use the microwave.

Answer 1

I don't blame you for getting upset,but obviously this girl did not know of your situation before saying what she did to you..Its also obvious that you both have things in common due to your pasts..Too bad a friendship didn';t come from the confrontation with her..Everyone has a story to tell,good or bad so just keep an open mind and don't blame someone for not knowing your past,blame lies on those responsible for that past,learn from what you have been through and use that strong will you have to make it through life..=)

Answer 2

Just because someone else has a beam in their eye doesn't make the splinter in yours hurt any less. I'm sorry you went through such a sad childhood. I hope your mother loved you and was able to show it. I hope you can have some sympathy for your mom: it must have been terrible for her to leave her little ones alone because she had to work so much. Can you imagine leaving a baby in the care of a five-year-old, while you have to work 16-hour days? All this is to say that other people have it tough, too, including your mom and, yes, your little sister, too.

If you can't feel compassion for others, if you mourn the loss of your childhood, perhaps a few conversations with a minister or a counselor would help. You have had it tough, but you can go on from here to great success, if you can lose some of that anger and lack of compassion. The alternative is that, when you're older, yelling at some 19-year-old that they can't possibly have had as hard a life as you have had, and that they're just a child and naive.

Answer 3

Oh to be nineteen again. She's right. You are only nineteen and you might have lived a lot for someone who is nineteen and believe me I understand I was a sexually abused child, whose father was on drugs and was violent and I was married at nineteen so I grew up fast too but I was still a child at nineteen. I admire all you've done and you might be mature for your age but a mature five year old is still five years old. You can't change the fact that life never stops teaching you. Nothing will change the fact that no matter what your life has been you still have a lot of growing up to do. Don't be in a hurry to grow up anyway. Your question by the way shows your age and by the time you're in your mid to late twenties you will be over the dramas and not even care about stuff like this. Forget the comment and move on. Good luck!

Answer 4

get over yourself. Do you think that you are the only person that had to deal with this sort of life. How about the girls that are being rapped and beat by their step dads everyday? Or the kids on the street that have nothing to eat and sleep on park benchs. Be lucky that you had a roof over your head and that you had food to eat. By posting this you show that yes you are still very much a child. Everything is all about you you you and you dont care about anyone else. This lady has a point. Grow up

Answer 5

I can see where this would get you down, you are feeling belittled and this person is making you feel like you're problems are less than her's. We all have trauma i our childhoods that has made us grow up alot faster than we should have, but you're sister needed you and all you should take pride in was you were able to do that, when she get's older she will remember that and it is much more a reward than you know. I know you are 19, but you have alot of living left to do and you will have you're time yet to focus on you and get back that childhood you did not have,,you cannot change anyone's perception of you or you're problems, so do not fret, you know what you have been through, now get up and focus on the problems you will not go through because of the knowledge you have through these situations. It will only prepare you for the future.

Answer 6

My ex told me his new lover had a hard life cause she is 44 and an ex-heroin addict and she has done credit to herself for cleaning up her act to look after her five kids.

I on the other hand am 23 and I have been through in and out of hospital all my life. I was born 3 months premature to a 17 year old moron mother who thought it would be great to show me off and took me out of the humidicrib at three days old.
Since then my poor body has been through so much. Test after test, endless opertations and having a life were most of my class peers did not understand what I was going through so I was bullied.

I tried to explain that to my ex that even though I have been through so much physically. I have conquered what has been thrown my way.

My ex on the other hand was like so Claire has been through a lot too and I like to praise her for getting over her trouble.

I wanted to punch him in the face and scream "What the feck. Your giving a double standard. Your praising someone who has gotten over a self-inflicted addiction. Where as I had to go through so much physical torment that I didn't even want."

So you see hun that woman was in the wrong to call you a child. People always assume that their life is bad and never look at anyone elses.

I can see you had to be through a lot and you are not a child nor are you naive. I think you did a great job raising your sister. :)

Answer 7

That's nothing. I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused as a child by my first step dad. My first step dad hit my mother in front of me. I was in foster care for 7 months because my 21 year old father was trying to kill my mother and was a danger to my mother and me. She was only 16 when she had me and my dad beat her and emotionally abused her every day from 15 to 17 years old. I was almost raped at 11 by my baby sitter's 13 or 14 year old brother and when I refused he shoved me halfway down the stairs. I was emotionally abused by my second and current step dad. I was in the hospital for 9 months and almost died because I was born premature at 24.5 weeks. What may be horrible to you is not so horrible to other people. My second step dad gives my 5 year old brother alcohol and I can't do anything about it. So you'll get over it. That doesn't sound really horrible to me compared to what I went through. I would gladly take care of my 5 year old brother and 7 year old sister.

Answer 8

(Ahem). True, you had a rough life. True, she had a rough life. Instead of the two of you having a argument, you should have gone for lattes and celebrated the accomplishments of the here and now instead of wallowing in self-doubt and pity. (Yes, that was a pity party on both ends).

You really aren't going to like this, but you should apologize for the way you responded. Whether or not she reciprocates is on her conscience. Bringing this to a public forum, I would think that you want justification, but I am going to give you something far greater. Peace. When you bless someone with a peaceful action, even when they are in the wrong, something inside you changes. I promise.

Answer 9

Just needed a place to vent eh?

Yeah I'm pretty sure if some stuck up ***** said that to me I woulda gone ****** nuts... That would make me so mad... I mean, I never had to raise my sister or anything, but I understand exactly what you mean that you've been through a lot more than most adults have... and I changed it from a lot to most because I think its most... lol anyways yah.. I'm 17 and I've been thinking and saying that since I was 16 and I would hate to have someone tell me their life is worse than mine... Lots of people have had a tough life so who is to judge who's had it tougher?

Answer 10

Dont take it personally. The person who said that to you has problems and you are not the problem so you shouldnt allow that person to cause you problems.

I too didnt have a great childhood, which is one reason why I became a child therapist and currently work with behavioral/emotionally disturbed kids.

As I've grown I know one thing for sure. My childhood wasnt all that great however there are many people who had it worse than me. I'm sure you can say the same thing also especially if taking care of your sister and missing out on childhood was the worst thing. I'm sure it isnt the only thing. If it is only thing, I agree it sucks however it isnt that bad. There are worse things that can happen to you than to be forced to grow up too early. With that said I dont know your life and you dont have to prove yourself to me or anyone else.

As for Horror stories:

I've worked with a child who watched his mother die from a drug overdose. One little boy held his mother in his arms and watched her die when he was 8 years old. I worked with this other little boy who had a grandpa and uncle repeatedly rape him for four years straight. Also I worked with this kid whose mother prostituted him out for drugs when he was 6 to 8 years old and also made him carry and transport the drugs. Another kid was raped and had to watch his mother being raped also repeatedly. The stories go on and on... sad sad sad.

Basically my point is there are a lot of people who has had it bad and age has nothing to do with it. There are some 8 year olds who have been through more trauma than 40 year olds.

With that said it isnt what you have been through that is the determining factor though. There are two types of people in this world.

First of all, those who allow the stresses in their life to ruin them and others who turn their stresses into success.

You be the second one..... and let that other person choose what they want to do.

Daniel