how should i feel when my husband works alot and doesnt have time at night for me??

Answer 1

Appreciate when he can spend time with you, and realize his sacrifice is for you

Answer 2

I can tell you firsthand how that is. I worked unreasonable hours for years with an employer until I retired. Never took a vacation and barely had time to sleep once I was home before I had to head back to the office. The responsibility and associated stress is extremely debilitating. The last thing your husband needs is you coming down on him with more stress by complaining he isn't around enough or demand he be him more.

Yes, you should want a change and work toward one. Just try to avoid turning it into something that comes off as if you are saying he is choosing the work over home. I can think of very few jobs that are that much fun. That's why they pay us to be there.

Also note that your husband also needs time for himself. It can't be all just some balance between you and the office. That'll drive a guy to drink.

So, you shoudl feel what you feel as honestly as you can. Realize that both of you are affected by his work and that it isn't you affected by him affected by his work. See if you two can reason out a plan and a goal to get where you'll both be comfortable and which is achievable. You can't get many places with a goal and a plan and you need to work it out together and manage it together.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Do you feel the same way on pay day? I know it is nice to have time together, but it's eat or die now days. Change things up make time in the day or weekends. Enjoy the time you have together.Take some of that check and go get something sexy, start some candles, something and lay it all out there. Sometimes you have to help with making time, and I bet that would work.

Answer 4

Please talk to your husband about this. Let him know what your needs are, because chances are he doesn't really know. Tell him that you understand how important his work is to him, but that he also needs to understand how important he is to you. Just be open and honest with your feelings and see how it goes from there. Trust that he'll do the right thing and find time to spend with you. You may need to compromise and have that time only be once or twice a week, until he can get a better schedule. (He could also include you in his schedule!) My husband and I have lunch together sometimes even though it's only a half hr, we still get to see each other. Good luck hun!

Answer 5

Well, I'd imagine you would feel lonely. But remember he's working and trying to take care of you, so don't go blaming him. Try talking to him, and set aside at least a few hours on one of his days off where you spend time with each other. Go out and do something, stay home and have sex, whatever... Just actively spend time with each other.

It may only be a few hours a week, but a little quality time is worth a whole lot.

Answer 6

Make up for your lost time in bed with him later that night. Call him during the day and tell him you're going to rock his world that evening. He WILL hurry home.

If not, then I would start to wonder if he is already involved in an extra-marital affair. One of the first signs of adultery is emotionally pulling away from their spouse.

If your sex life is non-existant then you HAVE to step it up...if you want to save your marriage from an affair.

If he is not getting fed at home, he will eat out. (I know, since I deal with cheating husbands all day!)

Answer 7

Ask him what is more important in his life, work or his family? If he can change jobs to save his family, then I would suggest he do it. There is a balance where work is important, but you have to leave to spend time with your family. If there is no balance, then what is the point of either one. I couldn't imagine coming home too late to spend any time with my wife and child every night.

Answer 8

I was in the same position as he is. All I wanted was a little support for trying to make both of our lives better. I admitt, I worked all the time and now realize that I never paid attention to her. Needless to say, I am now alone to work solo..........talk to him and work it out or it may cost you your marriage over time. Your feelings are important too.

Answer 9

Maybe you can get a job or take up a time consuming hobby, maybe then you won't feel as if you need so much of his time. Hopefully he will start making more time for you. Working all day is such a drain, try talking to him. Good luck

Answer 10

this is common problem with modern city life marriage.

I actually will quit my job if i find that i won't have time for my wife at night.

Actually what i will usually do is that i will at least attempt to go to bed with her, and then after she is asleep, i wake up to do my work.

Otherwise, ensure that during weekend, you guys spend a lot more time together.

I assume that both of you still didn't have children, so any plans for having children should be push back until you guys work this out.

Answer 11

how 'should' you feel? anyway you want dear. if it's something you can live with and you knew he was a hard worker fine. if you are having difficulty with it...find a way to make the time that you actually spend together fulfilling and pleasant and memorable. plan ahead during the week to spend one or two nights alone ...make them special. the planning ahead will keep you from boredom and loneliness.