Have you noticed that married people who are insecure are usually overweight or have low self-esteem?

Question

I had a conversation about this topic this weekend. I myself am overweight for my height so I am not picking on anybody in particular. It just seems that whenever you hear a person say their husband/wife is jealous and controlling and always accusing them of cheating ... it is because they are overweight or have very low self-esteem.

You don't typically see or hear of women that look like Beyonce or Eva Longoria worrying that their man is straying. What are your thoughts?

Just for the record, I also have low self-esteem ... I think.

Answer 1

ummm, have you checked out halle barry. a woman of all kind to be considered "fine"

and let's see, her first husband beat her @$$, wesley snipes hit her in the ear and caused her to lose her hearing,

eric benet, cheated on her throughout their marriage.

and now finally she finds love with a man 10 years younger than her (hopefully it works)

in essence, i am saying being overweight and little self esteem does not cause you to be insecure. what makes you insecure is being constantly cheated on and not being valued as a woman in the relationship.

even if lost the weight you want which might lead some self esteem, he would have found a reason to cheat.

and you mentioned beyonce, wasn't jayz accused of having a baby with free (from 106 and park).

as you can see looks has nothing to do with insecurity.

Answer 2

Well, most people who are insecure have low self-esteem--the 2 do go pretty much hand in hand.

But I'll disagree with you on people who say their spouse is jealous and controlling being insecure/overweight/etc. I've seen very bright, intelligent and confident people brought down by a controlling spouse. In that case, they simply picked the wrong person, but I've seen even beautiful, gorgeous women brought down by falling for the wrong man.

I'll also disagree that overweight people are insecure--sure, some are, but some aren't. That's making a very broad generalization that doesn't hold true in many cases. I'm overweight, but I'm very confident and secure in myself. Would I like to lose some weight, absolutely I would! Will I feel differently about myself when I do--sure I will, but that's not because I feel horrible about myself now. I honestly feel that if I don't love me, how can I expect anyone else in this world to love me?

Answer 3

Well for one not married or anything. But I have had low self esteem for years and I have been the correct weight for my height. And I was only insecure do to my parents. Personal issue that I won't get into here. But still I wasn't really serioiusly overweight. I was just always pretty quiet and kept to myself. I do admire more attractive women. Kind of drawn to them at times. But other than that nothing too negative. As for those two actresses I doubt they are as secure as they seem either. I mean I read about Eva wanting 10 kids, and that is stressing her hubby out and Beyonce has been rumored to have tripped Rhiannon and such things as that. Not saying that either rumor is really true but you just never know.

Answer 4

Changemelord , they may not look like actress's or super model's (who'd want to I have a email that would make you proud to be a bit bigger) , but i have a few friend's who's husband's have cheated on them and left them and also who are jealous and controlling over their spouse because even though they are gorgeous they just are so scared of losing their man to any other woman it has shattered a couple of their marriages , I sit back and think to myself omg no way look at you.

They didnt have low self esteem either or if they did they didnt show it.Stereo typing isnt something I do but then my variety of different style's of people in my friendship group cant place them in 1 single catagory.

Answer 5

People like Beyonce and Eva have personal trainers, about 10 or more personal assistants to kiss their a****s, 20 or more people to make them look good and they have an editor to take all the ugly wrinkles and crinkles out of the picture perfect bodies in the magazines and they are constantly worried about their men straying.

Perhaps that's why my hubby doesn't stray, he loves me for who I am not what size I am.

Overweight: no
Low self esteem: oh hell no lol

Answer 6

You know, it's funny because I used to be MORE secure and confident when I was 200+lbs!! It is not so much that I am insecure or suffering from low self-esteem now, but when I was fat I felt like he loved me because of who I was and not how I looked! Go figure! (No pun intended) My husband never gave me reason to doubt him either. He would always tell me how sexy I was, at 200lbs mind you, and how he was attracted to me and that made me feel good! I think we can push our husbands into cheating sometimes by always accusing them. How would you feel to be constantly accused and picked at when you were innocent. I think most husbands want a confident woman who respects herself. As for my weight loss, I just woke up one day and realized I didn't have to be fat, and changed my ways!

Answer 7

Funny! I think just the opposite happens. When a women is happy in her relationship she tends to "nest" with that person and they eat, drink, and watch movies a lot. Women tend to gain weight when they are happy! Some of the most insecure people I have ever met have been beautiful!

Answer 8

i dont think you are right, im not giving myself a big head or anything but i think im very attractive and im not overweight but i still have that insecurity that my hubby will leave me for somone else.
having good looks or being thin doesnt mean your self esteem is higher than others and that you arent as insecure....
trust me!!!!
at the end of the day, its got nothing to do with what the woman looks like that he cheats on you with...its whether or not she is up for it!!!!! guys dont care when it come to sex.
i know my hubby wouldnt hurt me but i think every woman deep down is scared that it might happen.....
its natural i think to have insecurities....but thats my opinion.

Answer 9

I wish the lord would change you because that is one of the stupidest things I've about ever heard.... maybe that is true where you are from but not anywhere else probably.... take my advice.... sell the trailer, put the hubcaps back on the Rambler and move somewhere normal. For every great looking woman out there there is a guy tired of screwing them sister.... GET REAL and grow a brain!

Answer 10

people are insecure because they have low self-esteem. i think the two come together. low self-esteem also causes people to not take care of themselves, because they don't think they deserve it (or think they can do it), so they're overweight. beyonce and eva are confident (= high self-esteem).