I have asked this question in gay/ transgendered/ lesbian by mistake, as this is where I wanted the question to go in the first place. I like this guy, alot, but not in a sexual way, and he is so defensive and rude, that he pushes people away. hubby says to be friendly, so i am trying.
2007-09-18 16:57:05 · 6 answers · asked by Dragonflygirl 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ People with Disabilities
I can sort of see where he's coming from- he's probably been messed with a lot in the past. A lot of people want to get to know people with disabilities so they can feel good about themselves. He's probably run into that. or people may have tried to use him, or been generally condescending.
So, you have a bit of a past to overcome. If you're patient, and nice generally, it'll eventually wear down his defensive shell. It'll help if you like some of the same things so you have something to talk about without fishing for topics. If you do like to do some of the same things, you might include him in small groups. Dont pressure, and eventually, he'll see you're sincere.
If he doesn't take you up on it, there might not be much you can do, but don't let that stop you from being friendly and decent. It really will help his outlook, even if it doesn't seem like it.
2007-09-18 17:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you like him if he is rude and defensive? If he pushes you away maybe he really isn't a friendly guy. Why does you husband want you to be friends with him. Sounds like if your hubby says to try - he might be feeling that and not liking it. He wants to be liked for himself - not because you were told to.
You didn't say a single nice thing about him in your question - don't you think he is sort of feeling that and that is part of the reason he is defensve and rude? What do you like about him? Maybe try telling him that.
2007-09-19 00:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. I am very disabled and I have never thought people were my friends out of pity. I am sure that this man will feel this as well. We never think of ourselves as disabled. We are people. Sometimes we push people away because by past experiences we have been treated poorly. You say Hubby says to be friendly, so you shouldn't have to explain why you don't want to be sexual with him.
2007-09-19 09:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Treat him like you would any other guy you'd be interested in. As a person and as a friend first. If he's ready for a relationship and likes you, therest wil take care of itself.
2007-09-19 22:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could ask him about his future plans and get him talking.
2007-09-19 01:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by starone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confide in him.
Treat him like you would any other friend.
2007-09-19 00:08:11 · answer #6 · answered by Bethany: 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋