I've been divorced for 9 years now and have always said I would never marry again--that is, until I met my current b/f. I've been so fiercly independent and so adamant about not getting married, I believe he has come to accept that and I'm afraid he'll never ask. We're both in our 40's and have been together for a year and a half. We're planning to build a house and move in together, but I'd really like to be married.
2007-09-18 15:13:58 · 27 answers · asked by tangocharlie3663 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He and I will be visiting his mother this weekend and I'm sure she will mention marriage to us--she has in the past--I wonder if that might be a good opportunity to bring it up, or will that put him on the spot?
2007-09-18 15:33:33 · update #1
You need to discuss this with him, but do it in a non-threatening way in a safe setting. Make him a nice candlelight dinner, or take him someplace special. Tell him that because of how wonderful and perfect he is, you never in your wildest dreams ever thought you'd feel this way, but because of him, you've changed your mind about marriage. Try to make it sound like a huge compliment to him, as though he is such a man that he's caused you to change your mind. It might flatter him in to thinking it's a great idea. I mean, if he's willing to build a house with you, he must love you an awful lot. Good luck hon, I hope this works out for you and OH how I wish I could find what you've found.
2007-09-18 15:21:13 · answer #1 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I had the exact same experience. I had been divorced for 13 years. We had lived together for 5 of those years. It was when we decided to buy our new home together that it just made sense, the timing was suddenly right. Making a big joint financial committment, sealed the deal. We just started talking about it casually and then 1 day eloped while on vacation. I never thought I'd like being married again, but it's great! Talk to him!! Val
2007-09-18 22:26:12 · answer #2 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you expect him to be thrilled at the news that you've changed you mind? LOL This man stayed with you for a year and a half knowing full well your views against marriage. You think he stayed because he was hoping you would change your mind and decide to marry him? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. He stayed with you because he thought you were safe and would never want to get married! And now you spring this on him? He'll run straight for the hills! LOL I'd love to see the expression on his face when you drop this bombshell. ROFLMAO
2007-09-18 22:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just do the reverse. Instead of saying you would never get marry, say how you've been thinking about getting married lately. Let him know that you would have never thought that you would fine a wonderful man as him to want to share your life with. Let him know that being with him makes you feel happy and you would be ever more happy if he ask you to be his wife. Good luck.
2007-09-18 22:32:16 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to your boyfreind and tell him
your thoughts instead of telling all us strangers. He may want
to get married and that is why he has agreed to buy a house together to live like you are married. If you are going to make
this major purchase of a home then you should talk about your
thoughtd of marriage.
2007-09-18 22:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by BabyMuffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared to freak him out...Its funny how we have to wait to be asked to be married and not the other way around. He sounds commited, buying a house is not like buying burger So just be honest with your self as well as him. Tell him your thoughts and feel him out, remember guys dont work well on hints they like to be told directly and honestly
2007-09-18 22:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by kaypendeha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why?
what is the benefit for him and you? if you are still fiercely independent, that streak in you will not go away, and thus you really will not like the idea of a marriage trap ( in your mind ), he ( if he is smart ) will never marry you
he has no reason
if you leave he can find another
as there are many out there just like you
40
divorced
and "independent"
2007-09-18 22:25:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been with him for a year and a half, surely you have a better idea how to tell him than we would? What are you afraid will happen? That he will agree or disagree? What are your reasons for the changed views?
2007-09-18 22:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and ask him his opinion on marriage and if he has considered the possibility. That should tell you volumes.... if he is against it then you can use that as a lead in and can always say that you use to feel that way too until you met him.
2007-09-18 22:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go ahead and tell him that you're open to being married again. A good thing about being "older" is that you just say what's on your mind. The time for games and dropping hints is passed.
2007-09-18 22:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋