I have been married for a little over 3 years. we are in our early 40's . My husband has made the comment several times that "we have lost the passion" and he doesn't feel that our relationship can continue....I feel we have settled and we still make love at least 3 times a week......
So what is he really telling me?
2007-09-18 14:44:50 · 19 answers · asked by R T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He sounds like he is getting bored with the routine affections (hugging, kissing, sex, etc.). It is a crappy way of stating it. You may want to add some stuff to your life like some together hobbies, see some new places, change up the "routine relations."
You really need to dig deeper because this just isn't enough to diagnose this.
2007-09-18 14:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's telling you that he does not want to be with you anymore & for you to make the first move in either seperation or divorce. Why don't ask him?? don't assume & ask yahoo b/c none of us here know what your husband is thinking. It's better you talk to him about this. It sounds like you guys just have issues with your sex life. You probably both need to spice things up a little bit. In my opinion, making love 3 times a week is enough at your age. Maybe he means he wants to make love "passionately" like you use to??? There's a difference in the ways you have sex. Some people just bump & grind, some people do it slowly with feelings, passion & romance. Like i said TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND & fix your communication so you don't have to ask yahoo about it.
2007-09-18 14:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not about feeling passion and love all the time. It is a commitment. Just because he does not feel the passion right now, I hope he realizes there are things he can do to bring it back, and it's not a reason to split. And also, why don't you ask him what he is really trying to tell you?
2007-09-18 15:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by Deb S (SFECU) pray4revival 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, He is telling you that he doesn't want to be committed to you ,,, the sex part ,,, hey you give it up ,,he will take it,, he just wants to move on,, it is time for you to really think about what you are going to do ,,,he already told you what his feelings was in the relationship,,,so don't expect nothing good to come out of this,,, he needs to just let you know ,,, he lost his passion ,,,not you ,, that is just a real sorry excuse to use,,,
never blame yourself ,,,if your marriage doesn't work out,,, it wasn't your fault ,,, He just wasn't ready for commitment...
I hope that everything works out well for you ,,
Good Luck
Leena
2007-09-18 15:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by leena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he really knows what he is trying to say, but if he's saying you guys shouldn'y be together because of passion it sounds to me that he is trying to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore. I'm sorry. You inform that you still have sex 3 times a week, is it still passionate love making or is it wham bam thank you ma'am, could he be referring to that? My husband and I have been married 4 years and we're only 21 and 23, we only have sex like once a week.
2007-09-18 14:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Violet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
men are reactionary
to that extend what have you done to yourself?
have you let yourself go, into the infamous "frumpy" housewife / spouse? keep in mind what both of you looked like when you 1st met, that is his reference point for th relationship, and the farther you ( both of you ) stray from that point, the more he'll look at himself and ask "is this is as good as it gets?", the power that you have is if you made positive changes, so would he... in reaction to you...
after all when a man is looking for a women
he do what it takes to make himself desirable to the women in question, this is true from the day he is first aware of the opposite sex to the his last day of life on this planet, car sales, men magazines, and any thing related to a mans self image rely on it, and it forever in motion and perpetual, if you doubt this, witness at one point the huge popularity of the cheesy and poorly made 80' Camaros / Firebirds, the epitome of chick magnets, but like anything else those were replaced with the new man icons ( lifted trucks )
2007-09-18 15:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him "whats his secret and what hes hiding" 3 yrs is not a long time and you have sex more than us, were in our 20s. maybe your doing it too much? try to acheive to look younger so you feel better about yourself, just some advice. I think he is looking at the youngins and comparing your relationship to the young love, if you dont have kids at home go buck wild, you only live once.
2007-09-18 15:40:18 · answer #7 · answered by deedee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what he means, does he think the passion is just going to strike him down like lighting? Both of you need to work on it and re-ignite the passion. You should perhaps suggest some marriage counseling...seems like he is giving up way too easily.
2007-09-18 15:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yall lost the passion but yall still make love at least 3 times a week..... sounds to me like he got bored. not your fault. try to buy "something" new. make a nice night for him show him if he leaves what he will miss out on. I truely hope it works out for y'all.
2007-09-18 14:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Nolan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in a rut, he likes the sex however he's trying to tell you he wants to move it up a notch, a little bam with the spice weasel.
He might not now himself what he's looking for so try something new, and tell him you like surprises as well.
2007-09-18 16:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by Chiprat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋