Am I wrong for thinking this?

Question

I believe that sexuality is just another human trait... equal to race, religion, height, gender, weight, hair colour, eye colour, etc...
However... A friend of mine says that sexuality is different than the others because sexuality hinders gay people in their everyday lives...
I say that gays contribute to this 'hindrance' by making a big deal out of it...
Homosexuals would like for sexuality to be just like all of the other things I named...
Yet they obviously don't believe it themselves.
If they thought that sexuality was like the rest, then they wouldn't have parades and all kinds of organizations and alliances...
I dunno...
I'm gay myself... But I think that it's often blown far out of proportion... by both gays and straights alike...

I don't understand the big deal... You guys talk about rights that we don't get... like joint insurance and marriage... But... I'm happy being who I am... if people want to persecute me or treat me differently because of it... That's their business... I'm still happy and healthy and could care less....

Touche, Dylan... (You're the one that mentioned the rainbow, right?)...
I made this avatar a long time ago... before I even knew about Answers... when I was just starting to be comfortable with my own sexuality... I thought that it was NECESSARY to tell people... I thought that it was the gay thing to do... As a matter of fact... I started calling people 'honey' and 'sweetie' because I thought I was SUPPOSED to... now it's just a habit... I tried to fit into the stereotype originally... until I realized what a drag (no pun intended) it really was...

Answer 1

The goal of the gay rights movement is a society where gay people are equal and sexual orientation is no longer an issue.

I was born gay. I did not ask to be gay, but I'm told it's a sin and God hates me for it. I was born into a culture where I cannot marry and protect my family and cannot serve in the military. In 30 States, I cannot work without fear of being fired. In some places I cannot adopt children. In most places, I cannot show public affection to my partner without fear of physical assault. I grew up being told I'm sick, evil, degenerate, vile, an abomination, a joke, and willfully disobeying God. Because I choose to stand up and say this is all wrong, my sexual orientation is an issue. It's not for some silly minor reason I react to this discrimination and prejudice. It's because I know God does love me and the Constitution of my country tells me that all men are created equal. Until I am an equal in this country, I am forced to respond.

You need to think about all the injustice and decide if it's acceptable to you. Do you want to be treated as a second-class citizen in the country where you pay the same taxes as heterosexuals? If you're happy with the current state of affairs, that's fine. But I cannot imagine that you're happy being told you're sick by the very Government and society you help support.

Answer 2

I don't think you're wrong for thinking that sexuality is blown out of proportion by both sides. Some of the things they do are pretty crazy, and it makes it harder for people to get over the fact that they're gay and believe that they want to be treated normally. It's really intimidating trying to get to know someone who has already decided that you hate them because of their beliefs/race/weight/sexuality/whatever.

Parades and organizations help make the gay community closer though. And it's probably nice as a support group, because those people also understand the discrimination you're facing. Also, the purpose of those alliances are often to convince people the sexuality is just another human trait. Gays still haven't been fully accepted into our (?) culture.


"I believe that sexuality is just another human trait... equal to race, religion, height, gender, weight, hair colour, eye colour, etc..."

The other traits you listed are also often blown out of proportion. For example, race. I am non-white. People often assume I do not speak English or that I will get a certain score on a test. Sometimes I make too big a deal out of my race too. I've snapped at people for asking innocent questions or blame bad service on racism when it was just bad service. Things like that shouldn't make that much of a difference but they really do in some societies.

Answer 3

I guess after years and years of people having to hide the people they love, i don't see anything wrong with saying i am not ashamed of it. I personally don't share my sexuality with people. I don't hide it or play the pronoun game and such. I am open when people ask, but I don't tell everyone. That is me. Whether I am with a man or a woman, it is my business not theirs. That may be how you are too. Not all people are that way. Some people want to hold hands when they walk down the street. They want to be able to not have to hide the love the feel for their s/o. I understand that. But, for that to be acceptable we do have to unite and have parades and rallies and such. Our alliance is our strength. Being gay is not all of who you are, but for people that don't understand it, it is all they think of you as, no matter if you tell them or not. They specualte, and gossip and point fingers. ( they don't have relgions that comdemn you for being blonde or having green eyes) They passive agressive gay bash, and down right get violent. So yes a few stand up and say I am not afraid. I am who I am, and I love who I love. Some don't. And that is ok. Yes a big deal is sometimes made out of being GLBT, but it is made for the most part for a purpose. ( Not saying that all involved know or understand that purpose) Yes being gay shouldn't be anyone elses business, and yes it is made into a bigger deal sometimes than it should be. But it is on a path to acceptance. When the world accepts it, it will be like hair color. Until then it is a hot button for both. One side is against it, and the other side says we are not doing anything wrong.

Answer 4

To me, a trait is something that falls within 'normal' parameters, eg black hair, or blonde hair, is a subset of the fact we all have hair or are bald. If someone, instead of growing hair grew a full head of wire, that to me isnt a trait - it is an abnormality.
To me the 'traits' of sexuality would be male, female attraction, and high or low sex drive. Homosexuality or lesbianism to me falls outside of that, its not a trait, it is an abnormality. Everyone is precious, you sound like a very thoughtfull honest person, I just think it is self deluding when people try to call it something else. It must be very difficult as in many cases I am sure the 'abnormality' is based on a physical cause and the feeling of sexual attraction to the same sex is genuine.
I believe that the Bible calls homosexuality a sin, yet at the same time Jesus loves sinners (everyone has some form of sin in their lives). That doesnt make the sin OK. Good luck - I hope you are able to work this issue out in the honest constructive way you are obviously attempting to.

Answer 5

Its strange.
when your gay , you become this sex symbol. That's the best way to describe it.

I know gays who feel no need to advertise there feelings , but I feel being gay has its own culture. It actually comes with a culture! That's different and good from heterosexual culture.
I know, I feel good and glad they have marches and talk about themselves. If it weren't for that, I would never have learned as much and grown as much. I would have still been teh homophobic kid who would not go into the rainbow center because of the heterosexuals who are allowed to prance around in churches, government, social gathers where I am, telling me gays are wrong, perverted or just plain nasty.

I cant wait for a day when its not a big deal. I hope it happens in my lifetime at least. Honestly, just to walk down the street and smile at a Young person my gender without feeling I could risk being my well being. That would be nice.

Answer 6

You make a lot of sense, you understand something many people don't get. That thing is the more you pay attention to something, the more it amplifies, the less you pay attention, the more it diminishes.
Harry Palmer said if you want to get rid of crime stop making instant stars of the criminals, in other words arrest them put them away but just as a generic title instead of by name, a criminal was put away today convicted etc.. no name no stardom an no appeal to others watching that might think wow I want to be someone too!
It is the same as you very well pointed out in your situation as you make it less of a big deal it disappears from being seen as anything but "no big deal."
By the way the rainbow used to be the symbol for us new agers before it was gay pride, once it changed I dropped it fast. lol
I'll bet if people today heard about the Rainbow Bridge experiment of the 60's most would think it was some kind of gay thing, it was a mind expansion thing that had nothing to do with gay.

Answer 7

Some of the things you just mentioned-- race, religion, and gender-- have had to fight for their rights, using protests and organizations and alliances. The gay rights movement is no different. There are still many, many states that don't protect against orientation-based discrimination. You can be fired for being gay, and that's just not right.

Making a big deal about it is IMPORTANT right now, until there is equality between gay and straight people.

Answer 8

Well first of all, I'm glad that you are comfortable about your identity and at peace about it; it is refreshing because it is true a lot of people make a big deal about their sexuality, gay or straight.

However, I don't think sexuality exactly falls in with race, height, hair colour, ect. Something like colour and size is a state of 'being', it is inert and uneventful in itself. But sexuality is a state of 'relating', it is lived with and through other people. Sexuality is more complex because it reaches beyond a single individual and affects others; it is a social act of relationship. Sexuality has tremendous consequences, physical, emotional and, in some cases, it engenders life itself.

So while I don't think it should be misunderstood and blown out of proportions, I don't think sexuality should be taken totally casually either.

(and again, this applies equally to gay or straight ;) )

Answer 9

What hindrance? That's so high school.

On a serious note. Most of us don't define our selves with our sexuality. But the society does put us in that box. I have lost a friend and two after they found out I was gay. I didn't make a big deal out of it, but they just walked away after years of being a "good" friends. So its not the homosexuals who make it a big deal, but rather the society who does it.

As for the parades. We are taught from childhood that we should feel bad about our selves, and hide our selves. But the pride is all about showing others that we are not ashamed of our selves any more.

Equality rights are important because people want security. In most states you could be fired for being gay, and there is nothing you could do about.

Others want security in their relationships. You say you are happy as is, but when you are in a relationship. Wouldn't you want away for it to be protected, in case something bad happens. Let's say (and I hope you no one has to go through this) your partner is in the hospital and the doctors have to make a critical decision about their health. Guess what you got no say in it. It has to be made by some one that is related to them "legally", that means blood relatives or their spouse. You wouldn't be considered either one since you are nothing to your partner. See that's why equality rights are important.

Answer 10

Thank you to all that see it this one way...Many race, religions, etc...Have had to fight for their rights, and the movement I am a part of (along with a lot of other lgbt) is to ensure that lgbt (such as myself) are able to have more rights equal to that of other people. Being proud of who you are as an individual is the beginning to standing up for what is right. I called E out he is not gay, but a poser how can a person such as your self actually have the nerve to say "Gays' do not help the tabboo society creates at all." While I may respect your opinion I can't because if you were really gay why then wouldn't you say "we." Instead you seperated yourself out of the equation totally which leads me to believe my suspistions your a straight homophobe posing as a gay man. Why? I have know idea, but you wouldn't be the first.