Can you correct me the grammar, please?

Question

An unfortunate incident happened to me when I was in the kindergarten. As it was a beautiful day, my teacher decided to go to the park what made me and my classmates to be delightful.

Before arriving at the park, I decided to ride on a toboggan but a lot of kids ran faster than me and I ended up going to the swings. At first, a feeling of sadness came over me because I wished to ride the toboggan, but when I went to the swings and I started to reach the sky going up and up, my eyes shone with pleasure.

Suddenly, I saw the ground so close and the only thing I could do was to hear my teacher asking me if I was alright. I had fallen from the swing and I was so frightened that I could hear my heart thumbing against my ribs. When my teacher noticed that I was wounded in my leg, she lifted me and took me to the headmistress’ office where they called and ambulance.

Finally the doctor, who came fast, suggested that I should use an antiseptic in my wound which would help me to recover soon.

Answer 1

Can you correct my grammar, please?
An unfortunate incident happened to me when I was in kindergarten. As it was a beautiful day, my teacher decided to go to the park; which delighted my classmates and I.

Before arriving at the park, I decided to ride on a toboggan, but a lot of kids ran faster than me, and I ended up going to the swings. At first, a feeling of sadness came over me because I wished to ride the toboggan, but when I went to the swings and I started to reach the sky going up and up, my eyes shone with pleasure.

Suddenly, I saw the ground really close and the only thing I could hear was my teacher asking me if I was alright. I had fallen from the swing and I was so frightened that I could hear my heart thumping against my ribs. When my teacher noticed that I was wounded in my leg, she lifted me and took me to the headmistress’ office where they called an ambulance.

Finally the doctor, who came fast, suggested that I should use an antiseptic on my wound, which would help me to recover soon.

Answer 2

An unfortunate incident happened to me when I was at kindergarten. As It was a beautiful day, my teacher decided to take my classmates and I to the park which delighted us all.

Before arriving at the park, I planned to ride on a toboggan but a lot of kids got there before me so I ended up going to the swings. At first I was sad because I wished to ride the toboggan, but when I went to the swings and I started to reach the sky going up and up, my eyes shone with pleasure.

Suddenly, I saw the ground so close and the only thing I could do was to hear my teacher asking me if I was alright. I had fallen from the swing and I was so frightened that I could hear my heart thumbing against my ribs. Then my teacher noticed that I had a cut on my leg, she lifted me and took me to the headmistress’ office where they called an ambulance.

Finally the doctor, who arrived very quickly, suggested that I should use an antiseptic on my wound which would help me to recover soon.

hope this helps.
bye for now.

Answer 3

Something unfortunate happened to me when I was at kindergarten. As it was a beautiful day, my teacher decided to take us all to the park, which made us all very happy.
Before getting to the park, I decided to ride on a toboggan but a lot of kids were faster than me and I ended up going on the swings. At first a feeling of sadness came over me because I wanted to ride the toboggan, but when I went to the swings and I started reaching for the sky going higher and higher, my eyes shone with pleasure.
Suddenly I saw the ground come very close and the only thing I could hear was my teacher asking me if I was alright. I had fallen from the swing and I was so scared that I could hear my heart thumping against my ribs. When my teacher noticed that I had injured my leg, she carried me to the headmistress' office where they called an ambulance.
The doctor arrived quickly and suggested that I should use antiseptic on the wound which would help it to heal quickly.

Answer 4

Can you correct the grammar, please? (no "me")

An unfortunate incident OCCURRED when I was in the kindergarten. As it was a beautiful day, my teacher decided to go to the park. MY CLASSMATES AND I FOUND IT DELIGHTFUL.

Before arriving at the park, I decided to ride on a toboggan but a lot of kids ran faster than I (not "me", because what you're in fact trying to get across is that "a lot of kids ran faster than I ran" you wouldn't say "A lot of kids ran faster than "me" ran, because that doesn't make sense) and I ended up AT the swings. (You can go to the swings, or you can end up at the swings, but you can't end up going to the swings, because you go there BEFORE you end up there). At first, a feeling of sadness came over me because I wished to ride the toboggan, but when I arrived at the swings (not went to the swings, because you were already there) and felt as though I could reach the sky (not "I started to reach the sky", because you didn't literally reach the sky. Also, you don't need "up and up" - you can't "reach the sky" in a downward direction), my eyes shone with pleasure (I like "my eyes shone with pleasure")

Suddenly, the ground appeared close (not SO close - it's either close or it isn't) and MY TEACHER ASKED if I was ALL RIGHT (again, you don't need the word "me"; it's obvious that she was asking you, and (you don't need to say that you heard; if you hadn't heard, you wouldn't know she had said it, so "I heard" is not necessary) I had fallen from the swing and was so frightened (you don't need the "I" before "was", because you already said "I had fallen from the swing" at the beginning of the same sentence) that I could hear my heart THUMPING (not "thumbing"!). (you don't need "against my ribs"). When my teacher noticed that MY LEG WAS HURT, she CARRIED ME to the HEADMISTRESS'S office (there's only one Headmistress so to the comma comes BEFORE the S, but good on you realising that it's possessive!) where THEY called FOR an ambulance. (you can't "call" an ambulance; it's not human) Also, Do you really mean THEY? They didn't both call for an ambulance.

....FINALLY THE DOCTOR, WHO CAME FAST.... etc. Change that to "When the doctor arrived, he suggested applying antiseptic (not "AN antiseptic), leave out "to my wound" (IN my wound is wrong anyway) because that is obvious; to what else would you apply antiseptic? which would allow it to heal.

Oh dear, English Teacher. You of all people should know that you don't say "A lot of kids ran faster than me". It's "A lot of kids ran faster than I", as in "A lot of kids ran faster than I ran", not "A lot of kids ran faster than ME ran"!

Answer 5

Sorry, I ' m vewry bad in the grammmar english, I need more practice my English.

Answer 6

In your piece, the grammar is less important than the content and the expression of the sentiment behind it.

It's all pish!