What good is all the education we have given to our children ?

Question

If they do not know how to live on their own and manage their money and know how to buy a house and buy groceries for themselves> ???Do they need to teach a course on this in college? Where ever did this all go so wrong?

Answer 1

or even write a check... i try on a daily basis to teach these things to my 16 year old... who could care less... thinks mommy will always be there... news flash, shes out at 18....lol

Answer 2

A 12 th grade high school and an advanced college course would be very advantageous to those not ready to budget.
My children have all paid for their own education after high school and have used it to their advantage.
I do have one daughter, 25, with 2 children who is saving for a home. After being here about a year and a half she plans on having a down payment by next summer.
Perhaps if she wasn't so comfortable she would want to move sooner.
We do hate the thought of her paying rent when she can make house payments toward owning her own home. All the other children except the youngest (17) are buying homes.
My mother says make her move out-she is taking advantage etc. We feel if we push her to move out she will be set up to fail. I know my husband nor I had any option except to fly by the seat of our pants. We made it witout help. Just the sweat and back breaking work ethic we were taught. No we didn't play organized sports or have extra curricular activities as they cost money our parents did not have and we were needed to work or take care of younger siblings.
My daughter at 25 is more like myself at 13. Her children do take dance and play softball. Frivilous perhaps. They feel secure in our home and that is priceless. So with this one child we will continue teaching her budgeting and allow her to save while we feed and house her and the children. Her income is jsut enough to live in a dangerous neighborhood. So we feel we are investing in her and the grandkids future by allowing her to live here, move up the ladder at work and mature.
Like my Mother says she did make the choices that made her a very young mother and divorced. Maybe we feel guilty since my husband and I have both been on our own since our mid teens.

Answer 3

Oh if life were just that simple. But the factor that most don't understand until they've been there is that the teenager does not WANT to learn what you need to teach them to be responsible people.
So he hit bottom real, real hard and several times I might add. He's strong willed and while that's a good thing, it meant it would take him years to wake up and realize he was making very poor choices and that he could change his life.
He created a clean slate; started over. Wanted to continue his education and we helped and stood by and supported him as long as he stood on his own two feet and took responsibility for his own life, worked his butt off and paid his way out of the hole he was in, etc.
He's now a Master Teacher finishing up his Phd. Makes good money and saves and budgets and exercises, is happy and doing a wonderful job raising his own child so she makes better choices than he did. We are so darned proud of him. He's finally become a man.
But bottom line is that some people really have to learn things in their own way and sometimes as their parents, the only thing you can do until they grow up a little more, is step back and let them go, and not rescue them from the consequences of their own actions. And Pray!

Answer 4

Go over to the Mental Health section and you'll feel pretty good about your kids. The kids these days are "cutting" themselves.. talking about.committing suicide...don't know how to write sentences or spell..even close to correct way (Yes..I know they have their own computer slang...but even those are misspelled.(did I spell "misspelled" correctly??lol Sometimes you can hardly read what they write).They're having panic attacks. and think they're schizophrenics etc. I think they've gotten too much info on mental illness. They're (a lot of them ) against religion (go to religion and spirituality). As for what you said...I believe learning "life skills" should start in 1st grade..and ESPECIALLY be taught in Jr. High and High School (considering a lot of them aren't even staying in school past Jr. High...if that long) Actually, I don't remember being "taught" any of these skills..I think I was just expected to watch and listen and learn. (I'm surprised how much I remember from just doing that) I definitly don't think that parental help should stop when they leave home. There's SO MANY things out there that they need help with when they leave home (whether they think they do or not) But...things have changed SO MUCH..in the last years..esp with computers. I feel like I'm retarded and obsolete now (like the English language seems to be) lol

Answer 5

I think education is a wonderful thing-nothing learned is ever wasted. The best education comes from those raising a child. My child has learned to make her own way. They have a very nice home, a job and she's paying for school. She a very productive, responsible person. The lessons she's learned have been put to very good use. I'm grateful this is the case, I have family members who's children are just as you described. Life's just not easy sometimes for anyone.

Answer 6

I have no complaints at all, where my grown sons are concerned. I raised them with values & taught them what's right & what's wrong, by being a good role model. I taught them to do the things they'd need to know how to do when they were on their own, by giving them household chores to do. They made their share of mistakes & I told them that no one is perfect & if they learned from their mistakes, that was a lesson in life. They had jobs while in high school, & learned how to manage their money. They saved their money for things they wanted. These were things out of the norm that their dad & I bought them. They went into the Navy right after high school graduation. With careers in mind, they set out to make their dreams come true. They are both in law enforcement, are both married, & have children of their own. They are raising their children as they were raised. That indeed is a great compliment to their dad & I.

Answer 7

There are so many things that I was taught in high school and the one year I went to college (got a good job and didn't go back) that I never used and don't use now.

Just a couple of nights ago, I was thinking that in high school they need to teach how to make a living. Hands on learning.

Answer 8

Kids go to school not to learn but for the social atmosphere. Its all about boyfriends and girlfriends and in between. We can't say anything to the effect of we want accountability of how our tax dollars are being spent for education. Currently we are spending 750 billion dollars annually and nothing to show for it. Those in politics want to throw more money into it. Its the Washington DC mind set to every problem, throw money at it, that should fix it.
It is time to dismantle the education system and go private. It should be the business of state government to educate and not the federal government. And we need to demand accountability. We need to go back to basics as to what was once taught in schools back in the middle part of last century.
Teach kids that they can't spend themselves into riches. What I mean is that if you have $10 in your pocket, don't invent a way to spend it because in doing so, it is Wall Street that makes money off of you. And then you are $10 short, back to zero dollars in your pocket.
I can go on for days on this. I close here.

Answer 9

We taught our kids. It all goes wrong at home. We followed my wife's idea of how to bring up children - treat them as you would a puppy until old enough to do for themselves. Then teach them to look after themselves and others. Worked fo us! Education is a different issue to life matters. Don't expect school to do it all for kids. Parents should be the main educators of their children- schools only should have to deal with academic learning.

Answer 10

I think it begins at an early age at home, by example. I also feel that college is too late, it should begin in Jr. high. But, no matter how much is taught, much is learned the hard way. My parents taught me many good lessons, but the only way that I learned was by making mistakes and learning that my parents were not going to be there to bail me out. I will add that I have never been arrested, and I knew that if I dared to call my parents and ask them, they would have said "no". You learn by your mistakes and you take responsibility for them.

Answer 11

OK. . .I remember being pretty young and pretty dumb and put out into the world with exactly no experience. My parents did not tell me to come home if I got into problems and did not offer to bail me out. I learned how to take care of myself. My parents did not enable me in any way. I didn't get to college until I was in my 40's and was horrified to see how dumbed down the courses were and how there was a credit course on how to find your way around the campus. I always liked that movie about the kids in LA proving they could rise to their professor's expectations. Maybe it's not the kids fault enough is not demanded of them.