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It is a bit long and twisted and maybe a little hard to understand and you probably won't get it at first. ..still working on it too..... ok
HONEST OPINIONS

The Girl who Envied the Sky
I saw her in the hall
We haven't seen each other in a long long time
She said she remembers me from before
I watned to say the same but I wasn't sure

Forget her face
No don't shes part of you now
Oh please forget
You can't she tattooed in your memory now

I didn't go to the hall again for many years and 10 days
I found my way to get out of that place
And made some friends along the way
But they soon dissappeared and I miss them much so

I saw her in a field
We laughed and compared scars
She said I'm here to stay
Insanity came over me

She said she envied the sky
And I welcomed her in my mind

You're in my mind
You're a part of me again
Missed you can't lie
The girl who envied the sky

2007-09-18 11:29:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Music Other - Music

I plan on using a guitar and a little keyboard.
The song is about who I used to be and who I am now and I tried to forget that part of me but its back and here to stay.

2007-09-18 11:36:04 · update #1

The chorus is
Forget her face
No don't shes part of you now
Oh please forget
You can't shes tattooed in your memory now
I could type it like I wanted to because I only have **** characters to work with.

2007-09-18 11:58:33 · update #2

9 answers

I love the plot, but you need to work on meter. What instrument would you have this played on? Imagine that, then streamline your lyrics.

2007-09-18 11:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0 0

If I heard what it seemed like then might be I would reply this larger, but it surely appears lovely well, and I consider I might pay attention to it on instances... It turns out slightly quick and might best be like a a million:30 and such a lot songs are approximately two:00-four:00 mins lengthy... but it surely appears love it might be a well tune... Hope I helped...

2016-09-05 18:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

I love that! There's just one idea I have for you and that is to add a chorus. A chorus adds so much to a song and also makes it more memorable. I've tried to write songs before so I have to respect the work put into this :)

2007-09-18 11:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I love the 4th paragraph thingy part of da song . but i dont get the rest of it.

2007-09-18 11:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Chris C 2 · 0 0

The Tendercrisp sandwich from Burger King is really good.

Try it with bacon & jalapenos.

2007-09-18 12:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 3

Pretty darn good!

2007-09-18 11:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Pickles the lunch lady 6 · 1 0

Man, after looking at your picture makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside with pride..THANK THE LORD
..I wasn't cursed with that neck...My neck, my face, Ugh, I said My neck, my face..

2007-09-18 11:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by Unbreakable Me 5 · 0 4

Don't give up your day job.

2007-09-18 11:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by Michel 4 · 0 3

it is REALLLY good.

2007-09-18 11:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by Veronica ♥ Cobras 4 · 0 0

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