~*~*~ well my husband has a fantasy of being with to women at the same time doesnt every guy, lol and i want to be able to do that for him and satisfy his fantasy but i'm scared that he might develope feeling for who ever we decide to do this with or whatever, he says he wont he just wants to try it one time and i dont blame him because i think it would be fun to do as well, but how do i get past this wierd feeling of him having sex with another women, and its not like he is forcing me to do it or is constantly asking me cuz he doesnt its me that has it on my mind and that wants to do it as well, and i like to add spice to are relationship and do different things so are sex life doesnt get boring, not that it is but i like to make him happy in bed and satisfy him. so if anyone has advice for me please let me know thanks so much :) ~*~*~
2007-09-18 10:51:23 · 23 answers · asked by padonkadonk22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would just let it stay a fantasy. If you let this happen then he might want it to happen alot more than you do. Tell him you have a fantasy of two guys and if he does your fantasy first then you will do his fantasy next.
2007-09-18 10:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Behavin 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes fantasies are best left at that! Once in a while it works out to live out the fantasy. Tell your husband that you also have a fantasy about being penetrated by a big black man. And you want him to wait home while you are out with him. But then you could tell him that it's only a fantasy, and you would never really do that. Who knows what would become of that fantasy?
2007-09-18 12:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by K M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't develop feelings for women they have sex with. Only women do that. So if that is your concern, get it out of your mind. What might be the better concern is that the woman will develop feelings for your husband.
I think it is awesome that you are willing to explore the possibility of fulfilling your husband's fantasy (and yes it is every man's fantasy). If I were in your shoes, I would find a woman that is a complete stranger, someone neither one of you knows, make it a one night stand and be done with it. You and your husband both sit down and explain to her that this is all it is. If you try to bring in a woman that you are friends with, or work with, etc., you are asking for trouble because there is already a relationship there to begin with.
Using protection goes without saying. Set up boundaries so that if at any time you become uncomfortable, it ends.
I might also suggest you go onto swinger.net and discuss this with couples who actually have experience engaging in these sexual activities. They will be able to tell you their experiences, pros and cons, so you can make the most informed decision. Good luck.
2007-09-18 11:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is NOT every guy's fantasy. I am completely committed to my wife and would never dream of bringing another woman into our bed, as no respectful husband would.
And as a side note, I am a marriage counselor and my office is FULL of couples who have had a threesome gone bad. In my opinion, some things are better left as fantasies. Very rarely does it actually "spice things up."
2007-09-18 11:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by Yogi 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think its a GREAT fantasy and it should stay a fantasy !!!
The reality is that it will more than likely bring trouble into your relationship. Just role play it - do it with a porno on the TV - its like having other people in the room with you / etc....
Get toys or go to a strip club together and get a "Couples" lap dance.
But - bring another into your bed and be prepared for trouble.
BTW - Tory - Your husband is lying to you to make you feel better. ALL men with a pulse have thought about and continue to think about 2 (or more) women at the same time !!! Its the "If one is great - two must be awesome !" type of thinking...... Just the cold hard truth - sorry.
2007-09-18 11:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by aa889d 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
No. I don't think there is such a thing as "Every Guy wants to be with two women..." fantasy time, maybe but in reality???uh, no. If you wish your marriage to end, get involved into threesomes.... just real all the regrets on this site......
Read some books if you wish.... For Each Other by Lonnie Barbach, THE sex therapist in the country today..... And/or seek out a sex therapist in your area. but a threesome????
2007-09-18 12:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A ménage à trois is not something you should be doing unless you are 100% secure and solid in your relationship.
Research, research, research!!!! Listen to Polyamory Weekly, read books on threesomes, look up info on the internet. Then get together and talk it over. Discuss the types of women you both find attractive. Things that you would want or need from the experience. How you both would deal with one of you getting cold feet or feeling, freaked out, jealous or hurt when you got there.
If you want to try to spice things up see what else gets both of your juices running. There is so much more out there to try that doesn't involve anyone but the two of you!
2007-09-18 11:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Men are better able to compartmentalize sex than women - generally. So he will probably be able to not develop feelings for her. In addition, I would think his feelings towards you would deepen because, besides everything else the two of you share, he now has a woman who enjoys threesomes and that is a quality a lot of men wish their woman would have. So as long as you don't think you would get irrationally jealous in that scenario I would say go ahead - I don't think you'll have to worry about him developing feelings for the girl.
2007-09-19 08:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To do something like that you have to be confident, self assured that you are not going to be hurt by it. Let me explain. At first you might even get into it, but once you see him doing it with the other girl, things are going to change. You are going to star wondering. Is she prettier than me? Did he like her better? Does she do it better? Is he going to want to do it with her again? Is he now hooked with her? There are many feelings that are going to come to you. You are going to feel unsecured about yourself. If you two love and care for each other, and you have a healthy and enjoyable sex life, I wouldn't do it. I don't think it is worth the risk of creating problems in a good relationship. I know you want to please him, but there are other ways to keep him happy between the sheets. I am a man and yes I have fantasized all my life about something like that. But I would never had let my wife do it. Now that we are separated i probably would like to do it with someone else. But if I was to fall in love again, I probably still won't do it. You can do it if you are one hundred percent sure that you will come out of it without any feelings or frustrations. But don't do it until you are one hundred percent sure. Why don't you ask him if he would do it for you, That might be able to help you with your decision.
2007-09-18 11:55:29 · answer #9 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it all sounds fun until he runs off with the other woman or accidently gets her pregnant. All the people with open marriages I've known are now divorced. Is 1 minute of great orgasmistic groping worth a lifetime of pain and doubt and possibly STD's?
Don't do it! Get some sex toys and a blow up doll. Keep it just between the two of you.
2007-09-18 11:20:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋