i want my baby, But How!!??

Question

Im 17, and 5-6 weeks pregnant. I really want my baby, and i believe that me and my boyfriend, the father, can provide the best life that we possibly can to our baby. The dilemma is were not really sure how we will be able to take care of him/her, like medical bills, clothes, diapers, hopefully i can breast feed, but if not formula. we are really determined to get nice paying jobs to do all this stuff. Another dillema is that i plan on going to college, and if he's at work, then we would have to pay for daycare and were not sure if we can do that, and pay for everything else and the rent on our apartment. Everyone close to me are also telling me that i should get an abortion, and their starting to get to me..i realy want my baby and my boyfriend said he would stand by me with any decision i make. can someone help please, im really stressing

Answer 1

Don't get an abortion honey! I had one at 17 and one at 19 and I regret it every day of my life. God would not have blessed you with this gift in your womb if he didn't think you couldn't handle it. And it's awesome that your boyfriend is supportive. But even if he changes his mind, still don't have an abortion. There are always less murderous choices than that. You have a huge heart and a brave spirit to be willing to bring another life into this world at your age. Don't listen to others that aren't as courageous as you.
Have you considered online courses for college? Or night classes?
Neither my husband nor I had a job and lived with his mother when we found out we were preggo with our first baby. Less than two years later we live on our own, my husband owns his own successful business, and we are happily expecting # 2! Sure things will be difficult, but you will get through it. Don't give up!!!

Answer 2

You can do this. If you want to keep your baby, then that's what you should do. If not, after the baby's gone, your emotions of regret may be harder for you to handle than you anticipated. Many women have become mothers at your age. There are government programs that help with medical bills and even daycare in some cases. I'm sure both of your families love you and will come around and be more supportive once you've made your decision to keep your baby and they get over the shock of the big change in your lives. You can get lots of your college online nowadays, especially core classes, and having a child will probably ensure that you get more financial aid. And, if you want to nurse your baby, you can do that, too. Just educate yourself about what to expect about nursing before the baby comes and you'll be successful.
Your friends and family just want you to have a good and happy life and they probably would rather have seen you ease into adulthood, instead of jumping into it. It's definitely harder this way, but a new life is never a bad thing and a year or two from now, everyone will wonder what they'd do without this precious child in their lives and they'll be grateful you had the courage to choose this path. Good luck. Let us know how you do.

Answer 3

I don't think you should have an abortion based on your financial ability or inability to pay for a child. There are state funded medical programs that can help you, there is WIC that can help with baby food and food for you. There are some great prices on diapers nowdays, and you can join your local Freecycle group (on Yahoo Groups) to help you get baby gear and clothes. It can be done!

Your personal advancements can be put on hold until you can get a job, pay for day care, and go to college too. Your BF can get a second job if need be. You created a life, you should start taking responsibility for it.

I would NEVER consider an abortion simply because I didn't think I could afford to have a baby. That is still a human life you created, find a way to make it happen. Incorporate family as much as possible... or look into adoption.

Congrats, and best of luck!

Answer 4

Of course you can do it. I was in college when I became pregnant with our son. We were newly married and he was a surprise. How did we do it???

Colleges have on-site daycares. We signed him up when I was 4 months pregnant to reserve a place for him. I could go between classes to nurse him and they were both accredited and wonderful. I learned from them on Attachment Parenting, etc. Things that I was being told were far out there- were not in their minds. They were wonderful. I worked there part time in the afternoons to offset the cost- and I wore him on my back to do so.

Live with family if you can. At least you and the baby to help with the cost. Both you and your boyfriend need to get to college and finish. Only I went to college and my husband is stuck in a dead-end job he hates- and with no education, it's not good. So, make a way for both of you to do it.

Many of my friends were single moms who had babies at 17 and 18. I was 25 with our first. They still went to college and made a life for themselves- even those who's boyfriend walked either before or after the baby was born.

YES it's hard sometimes, but worth it. We have a great little boy now who is 11 and just a really sweet kid. The thought never crossed our minds to abort- he was there, he was a life, and though we weren't ready- we made it work. You can do it.

I would talk to a social worker about benefits they can provide via social services. Some of my single friends qualified for a discounted program for childcare- though I don't know if that is still available. I'd look into it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I have personal experience with this myself i am 17 and i have a six month old daughter. everyone told me it was a bad idea and to get an abortion but i was against it. it will all work out i thought too that we would not be able to do it but all you have to do is stay home for a little while and get things sorted. then wen u r ready look for a job or go to collage try and get a scholarship or something you may just have to do without some of your own luxeries for a while until u get urself sorted. i have done this and we r fine now i have a full time job which i start next week then we can pay all our bills and buy a home n our daughter will have the life i never had. u just have to b patient and it will all fall into place!!!

Answer 6

I think that if you really want your baby then you can do it I had my daughter when I was 17 now I am 18 and her dad has stood by us you may not be able to afford everything that you mentioned and a lot of times it will be so hard because you will want to buy something but can not afford it especially since you are teenagers you cant really get a good paying job right out of high school but if you do great but what I am trying to say is it will be very hard but you can do it take care of your baby just remember that baby comes first and you may have to put your life on hold.

Answer 7

Everyone has to make their own decisions. I really think that if you do what is right in your heart it will work out. I know many, many people who had children at your age and struggled, but would not change it for the world. If you want my opinion I do not think that you should even consider having an abortion. You can still achieve all your dreams, even with a baby. I went to college with a baby, as I was a young mother. Don't let anything stop you. Have your baby and still go for your dreams!!!

Answer 8

There are MANY people who will help you as you take this journey to parenting. Don't let anybody pressure you into an abortion -- YOU want your baby and that's all that really matters.

Clothes for babies can be easily found at thrift stores and on-line like at Freecycle and Craig's List. Babies grow out of stuff so quickly, you can get BEAUTIFUL clothes for practically nothing. My kids all wear Gap, Nike, Gymboree, Old Navy, all the best brands and I get everything from thrift stores & always have, ever since they were born.

You can shop around for cheaper deals on diapers and get coupons. Generally, diapers go on sale every 4-6 weeks, and each store has their own pattern. Keep a log on the calender, and you'll be able to predict when the next sale will be, and have all your family save coupons for you -- on sale with a coupon is the best! I used cloth diapers for my first two kids, but when I got pregnant with my third, I had to quit using them on my older child because I had such bad morning sickness. I only bought 24 cloth diapers and 2 nylon pants in each size and that totally lasted me through the first two kids, no problem. I used disposable poop liners that you flush away with the poop so that washing the cloth diapers isn't so bad.

When you go to college, you can set up your classes so that as many of them as possible are when your boyfriend is NOT working. See what kind of shifts he can get for his job. If he works nights, you go to school days, if he works days, you go to school on evenings and weekends. Go to community college to get the basic classes out of the way (English & math and stuff like that), and then transfer to finish out your degree -- that's how we saved a ton of money when my husband decided to go back to school.

Call you local county health department to find out what kind of assistance you can get for medical stuff. Some communities have clinics where you pay on a sliding scale. Also, if your boyfriend is already working, he should check out the health insurance benefits at work. You may have to get married to get them, but it's not like you don't love each other and have a child together. Elope now & have a wedding later if you want to, just to get on his benefit plan at work.

YOU CAN DO THIS! If you run into trouble, call Catholic Charities, Catholic Social Services or a Crisis Pregnancy Center -- they are all able to help you get connected to anything you need. (You don't have to be Catholic to use the Catholic services -- they have a mission to help babies come into the world, so they will help you.)

May God bless you, your boyfriend and your baby!

Answer 9

Please don't listen to others who want you to abort this sweet Innocent child. If you want this child keep it! If you don't think you can take care of the baby there are so many people who would take the baby and raise it with love. Please look into all other options before you even consider abortion. There are even options where you can be a part of the child's life. Don't let someone talk you into an abortion. You will always wonder what may have happened if you had kept the baby. There are many programs out there to help financially, If you want to keep the baby. If you want I would be willing to help you find the resources available to you. e-mail me [e-mail]. Good luck!

Answer 10

many ppl have been in your shoes and have made it work. It'll prolly be twice as hard to get an education w/ a baby/family, and there will have to be hard times, but you can do it, if you want to. It's your decision. don't let anyone talk you into an abortion, b/c you're the one who would regret it, not them.
It's a huge life-changing choice, never to be taken lightly, but ppl have done it.
There really are many good gov. programs out there, created for ppl in your situation! There's nothing shameful about it, especially for someone who just needs help as they try to make ends meet.