This one is for the guys, Please answer.?

Question

Why do you listen to the music you listen to? My husband and I just got married and he says hes so inlove. But last night I got in the car to go to the store and he had a CD in.

I was shocked to what i heard. It was rap and it was talking about what he wants from his woman. He was calling her a
Bi@%h and a ho. Tell her to shut up and stuck his you know what.

I changed the song just to find they where all the same. I stopped the car and put in another CD just to find that every thing he is listening to talks about there women like we are scum.

I guess what I dont understand is why after tellin some one you love them you would listen to this stuff. Do you have any Idea how that makes us feel. I felt degraded and belittled. Knowing my husband thinks this is ok. To talk to and treat your girl like we are trash.

Are there any romantic guys out there any more. I feel like thats how he thinks of me and I cant stop thinking about it.

Answer 1

I have to agree with lunatic 100%. You married a man and you were suprised at the music he liked. That tells me you married him way too soon. You should have seen this earlier than now. There's no telling what other suprises you're in for. Let's hope he doesn't act out some of the abusive themes in the songs on you.
Anyway I listen to various types of music for various reasons. I don't like rap/hip-hop much these days, especially the kind your mysterious husband listens to. I also find it degrading, insulting and just plain wrong. I don't know what the appeal is to be honest. I can appreciate the older rap/hip-hop artists like Public Enemy (didn't agree with all of their politics but they sounded awesome), KRS One, Big Daddy Kane and a few others.

Answer 2

I'm not a dude, but I'm a big rap fan, so perhaps I can offer some perspective.

First of all, you married someone before you knew what kind of music they liked? That's a little disconcerting to me. Are there more things you don’t know about him?

Moving on to the actual songs - I think you should talk to your husband, explain why you think the songs are degrading and ask him honestly if he thinks that women should be treated the way they were described in that song. Also, more importantly, pay attention to his behavior - does He treat you like you are subservient to him? Has he ever degraded you in the past? Does he use foul language to describe you?

If your answer to all of these questions is 'no', then I don’t think you have anything to worry about - its a free country and your husband is his own person so he can listen to what he chooses and you can not control what that is. Just because you like a song doesn’t mean you necessarily are going to act that way. I am a woman and I really like rap, but if I find that the song is against my values I don’t listen to it. However, that does NOT give me (or anyone else) the right to tell others what they should listen to.

If your husband is understanding and open to your feelings, he may have a change of heart about the music, or perhaps he'll agree not to listen to it while you are in the car with him.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Ladies have to understand that the music a Man listens to does not determine how he is going to treat you. Yeah you might find it degrading but these dues in these songs are not talking about THERE women they are talking about the women they deal with. I do not really listen to that type of rap either. Curious to know how you never knew that he liked this type of rap?

Answer 4

Well, I'm not a guy, but I was reading your question because when people say for guys only or girls only or something I sometimes wanna find out why. LOL. I know I'm nosey. Anyways, I just wanna say that just because he listens to that stuff don't mean he means it. It's not like he's the one singing it. Maybe he still likes the music he alwayed like. There is no need to fell degraded or like trash. As long as he didn't say that to you or treat you like that then everything's ok. I know some girls do fell like the man would treat the women like trash if they listen to that type of music I can understand you.

Yes, of chorse there is romantical guys out. Why wouldn't there be? I know a lot of them can sounded non-romanic and like pigs or degrading to women, but that don't mean they all are.

You can try talking to him about how you fell about him listening to that music and maybe he'll explain it and so on.

Well bye bye!! =).

Answer 5

You clearly haven't gone to high school recently.

Trust me he isn't gonna beat you, and jack some guy's TV, and go cap someone in the mouth in the Dirty Souf

I myself like listening to this type of rap in moderation with other artists that are classier such as Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Pigeon John, Ugly Duckly, Akir (Yes I know these are people you might've never heard about!) while at the same time I can't deny breaking out singing Party Like a Rockstar with your buddies, or Hood Rat Chick is fun.

We don't mean it and his music doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. I'm sure he loves you very much. I mean I'm a straight A, AP student that dresses sophisticated, and I'm arab so I don't even look like those people at all

Answer 6

That means you really like him and you are turned on by him. That's a good thing. If you didn't get wet at all or if you were barely wet, that would be bad. Guys say, the wetter the better. very normal.

Answer 7

LMAO, I hope it's YOUR car cuz you took control of it and was messin with radio like it was yours.

My girlfriend doesn't like the CD's I own, so I have to listen to the radio or her CD's (usually R&B or Pop, it sucks to be in that car). She knows the music I listen to is not really degrading. She'll even sing along if it's like Tupac or Kanye (really that all she knows).

You should just ask him not to play that kinda music when you're around.

Mike G: You won't be alive when it goes out of style. So why bother makin that statement?

buck: Men over 27 listen to Hip-Hop. MOST artists who make Hip-Hop are over 27. So that was dumb.

Answer 8

Ok Ok. im sorry. I bought those CDs when you went out to Cali last month. I didnt know what was on them I had never listened to them before I bought them. My wife does know me. and to let all you know I dont listen to that kind of stuff. Im sorry baby. I love you.

Answer 9

I don't usually listen to rap, but when i do it's not like that.

I understand how and why it bothers you, but I am sure that the music has nothing to do with how he feels about you or women in general, and truth be told he might not even have realized what the lyrics are.

Answer 10

okay, im not a guy, but i grew up arruond rap and a bunch of guys that listin to it. for the most part i have'nt seen any of them seriously mistreat their ladys. i think the only reason they listined to it is cuz they grew up arround it, u kno? or like that other guy said, jus to look hard. My real advice? dont judge some one by the music they listen to, pay more attention to how he was rised and his way of thinking. my boyfriend is a herd *** gangsta but he treats my like a lady. i think its because he grew up closer to his mom who is a wonderfull woman.