Should I Ask Her To Marry Me?

Question

I am 18 years of age and have been dating my girlfriend for one year. She is almost 17. We are in love for sure and have agreed that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. She just moved away to live with her real mom in a different state. We keep in touch everyday and have set up guidelines and rules. We both follow them perfectly. A few guys have "Hit" on her down there and she just blows them off and tells them she already is with the man of her dreams. I believe that she really wants to be my wife. Why? Because she said so and I want her to be. So my question is, Should I ask her to marry me? Or should I wait until she is 18? I don't want to wait because I know for a fact our love will not dwindle over time, it will just grow. So why not now?

Advice Please

Answer 1

one year is not very long to get to know someone and make such a serious commitment,you need to be sure she is the one for you because once you make this commitment it should be til death do you part,marriage is hard work and sometimes that loving feeling isnt always there you have to keep it alive and not give up so think very hard before you do anything,i believe it can work at a young age because my husband and i were married at 18 and we are still together after 26 years and very much in love still,but we both worked hard on our relationship,so good luck and i hope you make the right choice

Answer 2

Does it really make a difference if you do the whole romantic song and dance. If you want to have a long lasting life with this girl, do things now (well, all the time) that are building up to that life you want to live with her. For instance finishing school for the both of you. Or going to the same collage. Thinking about where you want to live together, what works out best for you and your possible career fields. My main question for you though is why are you asking us? Your question is framed in just the right way to suggest you do not think its a good idea. Committing your self to someone, means what you want isn't necessarily first any more, it means being an adult and making decisions about the rest of your life, not just what you want right now. If you are wanting to do this b/c she is far away and you may loose her, you actually should wait to find out. Good Luck True love always wins in the end.

Answer 3

You should wait a lot longer then waiting for her to be 18. You should wait til you have both graduated college and have started a career. Getting married now would lead to a rough marriage. If you know your love will not dwindle then you can wait until you and her are better off, more mature, and actually ready for a marriage and a family.

Answer 4

John,

My advice is to wait. Why the big hurry? If you really love her and she really loves you then don't rush into a marriage. Both of you still have a lot of growing up to do. A recent study was released showing that most people don't reach full maturity until 24. If your love is strong enough then there should not be a problem to wait until after college.

Marriage is not a joke, there are a lot of responsibilities and gets worse when you have kids.

Best of luck.

Answer 5

You’re too young. No, really, you are. You do not know for a fact that your love won't dwindle. Think about it; your 18yrs old, still a teen with few responsibilities and your rose-tinted glasses are firmly fixed.
I don't say that to be mean-spirited but you haven't experienced life as an adult yet and getting married is a serious commitment to be making before you really know who you are.
If you still have a relationship in 5yrs then go for it. A lot can happen in that time. She may meet someone else, but marrying her now is not a safeguard against her finding someone else in the future.

Answer 6

If your love will not dwindle, why the urgency? I would wait until you were at least 21 before you even contemplate marriage. I was with my ex husband 20 years before I had the sense to kick him out. I believe that you are desperately in love with your girlfriend, but you yourself are way to young to think about marriage at this time. All the very best wishes for you.

Answer 7

Hey I am just concerned that you may be a little too young....sorry to say that. Secondly you have dated for just one year. How about hanging on to this wonderful relationship for a while as you say it will not dwindle with time. in the mean time, take time to set other goals in your life like career goals......they take quite a while to achieve. When you are set with career and and finances seem not too bad then you can commit to a marriage......remember a marriage takes more than love to move.

Answer 8

I don't think so. Marriage is a contract between two people that they are going to build a life together, not a contract saying they really love each other. You're so young, how can you build anything. You probably can't afford kids, or long-term housing. So, why not wait? The love is there, and when you are ready to build a life with someone. You can propose then.

Answer 9

If you've already talked about how much you want to marry each other, a formal proposal seems a bit redundant. But if you're so sure it's only going to get better with time, then why the rush? Why not give her time to develop her relationship with her mom, and both of you time to figure out the logistics of marriage beyond fidelity, like where you're going to live and how you're going to support each other?

Answer 10

If your love will not dwindle then why rush it?? Wait you are young and how are you guys going to be together if living in different states. Just cause you ask her to marry you does not fix the problem that you two are in different states.