I saw a question on here that said that "all women have rape fantasys" moving beyond that "all" as not all women have the same fantasies--I felt the need to correct this "rape fantasy" myth. It gets called rape fantasy because that's easy to say and basically conveys the idea however it is NOT rape that the woman fantasizes about it is POWER EXCHANGE she wants to give all her power away or in essence have it taken by someone she knows and trusts for the duration of that sexual encounter. It's not rape because she has consented to the sex she WANTS the sex but by losing control she feels helpless thereby increasing her arousal during the act....she's not scared or hurt though just the opposite of rape. So please can we start calling these fantasys what they really are? Power exchange fantasys.
2007-09-18 09:19:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Tera: Very true and in most instances when a woman does act this out with her partner there's a safe word in case things get too intense.
2007-09-18 09:32:23 · update #1
Lioness: Thank you, this is an issue that really bothers me, people who say women fantasize about rape so they want to be raped. All anyone has to do is take an intelligent look to see the difference and to see it's not rape that is fantasized about but that feeling of giving control to another.
2007-09-18 09:43:16 · update #2
Shivers: There are lots of fantasys in fact as many fantasys as there are elements to BDSM---bondage does have it's appeal. ;)
2007-09-19 08:24:05 · update #3
AMEN.
And really, if you think about it, is a rape fantasy really "rape"? After all, the woman having the fantasy CONTROLS every aspect of the fantasy in her mind, doesn't she? Even if the fantasy is "acted out", it is still staged. There are limits and boundaries as to "how far" things will go. In real -life rape scenarios, the power to control anything is taken away from the rape victim. The victim is violated and traumatized. What is fantasy, and what is real, are two entirely different things.
2007-09-18 09:29:21 · answer #1 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 10⤊ 1⤋
My gut feel is that you are curious, potentially bisexual, and porn interests do not necessarily relate to the real world or liking actual people or not. You say you are fantasizing about a friend, so I assume this involves acts with him that turn you on, and I guess that the 'dreams' that you have also involve sexual acts too - I'd probably say that this is more than coincidence, but you may be suppressing some element of yourself, hence the subconscious rising of your other interests, whilst you are sleeping. It's your call, your friend may or may not be interested in anything other than friendship, otherwise you could potentially reflect on this some more, and see how your thoughts go. If you're single, then you're not abusing anyone's trust etc. Otherwise, just accept that we all have fantasies, many of them will not be fulfilled, unless we choose this. In your case, it seems that perhaps your fantasies are seemingly strong and not occasional, so this is going to be about you and how you wish to pursue things. Hope this helps. Good luck! Rob
2016-05-17 22:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps some of the confusion comes from the fact that some women who fantasize about 'power exchange' also fantasize about this happening with a complete stranger. They will also act out resistance and fear...which is equated with rape. But I agree...technically, a woman doesn't fantasize about being 'raped'...but she does fantasize about being 'taken' by a stranger.
2007-09-18 10:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Miss Hala, you couldn't have said it any better! You deserve your star! I was going to respond to that question you're referring to, but didn't feel like getting into it. Thank you for speaking up for the rest of us. We know the difference between a consensual power exchange and rape...this, obviously, is blurry to some who are not women...I'm glad you clarified...after all we are the women and we know exactly what goes on in our fantasies lol
2007-09-18 09:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by Lioness 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I think we should tell it like it is. Women don't want to be raped.
Women have sexual fantasies. That's All they are. If a fantasy does it for us than ok that was the point.
2007-09-18 12:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ ~Sigy the Arctic Kitty~♥ 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Right on my sister!
Because we fantasize about taboo subjects doesn't mean we actually want it to happen. For instance, one of my little fantasies is having a 3some with another female and my husband. It will NEVER happen tho' because I'm not very good at sharing, and someone may wind up dead....
Geeeeeez, I hope my husband doesn't see this and get his hopes up, lol!
I've got another one about a biker bar filled with uglies.... don't ask....lol!!
2007-09-18 11:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by bijou 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I agree, but I've always heard it called (besides rape fantasy) a Submission Fantasy.
2007-09-18 10:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
I think most people understand that things that turn someone on and things they want to happen are not always the same.
2007-09-18 16:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm. I never fantasised about rape, more fantasise about bondage (involving chairs and rope) and being totally dominated, but not rape.
2007-09-19 00:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Shivers 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
its simple psycology, everyone loves control, but to also loves to BE controled, espicially those with power, they get tired of always being in control.
2007-09-18 09:31:44 · answer #10 · answered by james R 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋