My husband and I have been having some issues for quite some time, he seems to think that they're all of a sudden. He went to my best friend to talk to her about me. Trying to find out some things, things that he thinks I'm not telling him. He asked her not to say anything to me because he feels it would cause more problems between us (you think?) The ironic thing is he says he's never lied to me or kept any thing from me. I'm not sure what he calls this. Any way my friend told me that he came over and that he asked her not to say anything to me. Should I confront him? I hate that he thinks I'm keeping things from him, and he's acting all innocent, but obiously he's not.
2007-09-18 08:59:02 · 16 answers · asked by Crzybtch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, he wasn't talking to my friend about my bd or anything possitive. She told me what he had to say and ask. He asked her not to tell me he came to her house to talk to her. When she told me all of this, she asked me not to say anything to him because she told him she would keep it between then. Of course her being my friend, her loyalty is with me. WHat I hate is he thinks I'm keeping things from him, look what he's doing.
2007-09-19 01:23:42 · update #1
But wont that snitch out your g/f ?
Maybe in very near future he will confide to her something really worth 'confronting' him about.
2007-09-18 09:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Communication in a relationship is important. Did you think maybe he was talking with your best friend about your birthday or immediately raise your hackles and assume it's all about you?
My guess is you both have problems with communicating. Perhaps sitting in a counseling office and open up the unwashed laundry might help..
If you are pissed off, going on the attack puts people on defensive. Learn to use a language that is not an attack.
See a counselor that can work with couples. Don't beg off by eliciting an opinion from the Yahoo'rs. Its a cop out.
2007-09-18 16:33:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Personally I feel that I would have to confront my dh if he did this. I would be upset because if I were having marital problems I would feel violated if my dh went behind my back to talk to my bf about me. I don't know if this is the right thing to tell you but I just couldn't let it go if I were in this situation. I would expect my husband to trust me and what I was telling him and to go to someone else and question that (I would be a little bit insulted/mad). Good Luck to you I hope it all works out.
2007-09-18 16:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by sydney 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like the trust in your marriage is already destroyed. Confronting him on this will only ruin what trust is left.
Instead, I would sit down with him and ask him why he does not trust you. Ask him to explain what it is about you that he feels has changed. Also bring up to him the issues that you have discussed before and ask him how this could be described as all of a sudden.
Take care and Good Luck,
Troy
2007-09-18 16:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I suggest you both work on your trust issues. Accusing or assuming that each other is hiding something will damage your relationship. Work things out as adults and learn to trust each other again. Confront him about him going to your best friend. Your best friend should not even be included in your problems and tell him that if he has a problem in the marriage he has to go to you and talk it out.
2007-09-18 16:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would tell him that you know that he went to your friend and you think it would be better for your relationship if he came to you with problems rather than getting second hand information from someone else. It sounds like you may need some counseling as a couple.
2007-09-18 21:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would be confrontational.
Talking to you husband about things that bother you should be just like breathing.
When you have issues in a marriage and cannot resolve them seeing a therapist is a good idea.
2007-09-18 16:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you're smart you'll will be discreet about this and keep this to yourself. This situation, in fact, is advantageous to you. You can use your friend whom your husband thinks he is going to in secret to get information. You will know what your husband is thinking. This is not to be controlling or malicious or to use for your gain and his loss. This should be used to benefit the both of you and your marriage. You can use this friend to find out what issues you and your man need to talk about.
2007-09-18 22:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by standup149 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
your girlfriend should have kept her mouth shut and told him not to involve her and to go talk to you about whatever it is he is trying to find out.......I don't like the word "confront" when it comes to a spouse, you confront enemies not husbands......have a conversation and talk with him about what is bugging him
2007-09-18 16:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Definitely! For him to go to your friend and ask her about you, well that's a trust issue. Apparently he thinks you will tell her more than to him. I would definitely ask him why he felt that he had to go to her and ask her about you. That also seems so child-like. I would be defended greatly if my hubby did that to me.
I am curious to what your friend thought about him asking her and what did she say to him in response to his questions. Also, did it satisify his curiousity about you?!?
2007-09-18 16:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by twinkies_22 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋