The mother has fought for two years to ensure she had her time with her youngest child, in a 50/50 shared custody divorce. Now, she says that she is moving and the child can determine where she wants to live. The move will take the mother 1200 miles from where she now lives. She is all the sudden okay if she only sees her daughter during the summer and rotated holidays etc... Now I find out, that she plans to move out there with this guy that is 41 years older than she is and she is 42, he is buying the house, paying for the move and she is going to be his so called live in care taker. I have seen the guy, and he is old, but does not seem to have any problem getting around. She claims there is nothing romantic at all. He obviously has money and she has blown me away by not asking for anything and how willing she is to basically give up her rights to our youngest daughter. Can this be for real that this guy just wants someone around for his last few years and she is just ...cont
2007-09-18 08:55:54 · 10 answers · asked by Suthern R 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
...lucky enoguh to find someone that can pay her way, or is this guy some 83 year old horn dog that has a good supply of Viagra he wants to use up with my ex? I honestly do not care what she does, but the change in her desire to spend time with our youngest daughter is a concern and the fact that she will want our daughter to spend time there and I worry this guy could be some sexual pervert and my daughter may not be safe...Thought?
2007-09-18 08:58:33 · update #1
you are a loving father to have such a concern. You are probably hitting the nail on the head and if I were you I would learn as much as I can about this guy, and since your ex-wife isn't so concerned about seeing your daughter, maybe you should consider your ex visitng your daughter not the other way around? In your situation I would have told her that if she has no problem flying 1200 miles away from my child she should have no problem flying 1200 miles back for HER to do the visiting. If this guy IS someone she is just "caring' for, which you and I both know its WAY TOO sketchy, he should have no problem paying for traveling expensee for his "caretaker"....
2007-09-18 09:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by jmalin04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly..get a lawyer and tell them this. You might be right in your perv thinking and I know I would not want my daughter exposed to anything like that. That is too far for it to be convenient for anyone except the ex. You did not say how old the child was but in most states a young child can not legally determine where they want to live, a judge will listen to their request but if it is against the overall best interest of the child then they will not accede to the child's wishes. Whatever your final decision in all of this be sure that you get it in writing from the court..ex's can be pretty slippery when it comes to changing their minds later on and if you do not have a court order then they can get away with whatever- I wish the best for your daughter and you.
2007-09-18 16:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by dances with cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I think it's bizarre. I've never understood any mother who can give up her children like that. And I don't care how much money an 83 year old man has, he's not getting me into bed!!! Something has to be off in the head there, imo. And your daughter is obviously better off not having this woman in her life.
2007-09-18 16:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go. Sounds just like my mom - she just wants an excuse to drop her parental responsibilities and live high on the hog. The only reason she fought in the beginning is because she didn't want it, but she didn't want you to have it either.
Your daughter is much better off with you, sounds like. And no, the daughter can't decide who to live with unless and until the courts have reviewed both the boyfriend and the living arrangement of him and your ex. Most courts frown on children being placed in unmarried situations like that.
2007-09-18 16:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, is there any way you can do a search on him? Find out what info you can on him. I would do alot of snooping around to find out what you can without asking your ex. As far as your daughter goes, just be there for her and be the best for her, even if it means being mom and dad for her. But before I would let a child go that far, I would definitely find out from other resources about this older man.
2007-09-18 16:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by twinkies_22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Bizarre? Yes.
Legal? Yes.
Mature? Of course not.
If your ex wants to sell herself for some money, then let her. Your daughter will one day understand that her mother would rather have some material luxuries than a daughter; your ex will have to try to explain that to her and live with the consequences.
2007-09-18 16:07:31 · answer #6 · answered by Mathsorcerer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this does sound odd but he is 83 and he has money and it is buying her a house,Money can do very strange things to people.I would sit your EX down and have a open and Honest heart to heart talk about this and also talk to your Daughter and see how she feels.Good Luck
2007-09-18 16:07:26 · answer #7 · answered by Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would probably be in your daughter's best interest to stay with you,her mother seems like to be in a part of her life that would not be in the child's best interest, she needs to be somewhere safe, you cannot help what direction her mother goes in, BUT, it is your job to focus what is best for the child. wish her mother good luck..focus on what is important.
2007-09-18 16:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by Beverly W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the daughter is in harms way.I do think the old guys bank account is in for some trouble.
2007-09-18 16:06:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur ex is a whack job!!
2007-09-18 16:11:02 · answer #10 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋