How can one tell their husbands they don't like to do certain things, like watch sports,?

Question

or collect autographs? without hurting him?

Answer 1

Try participating in a pre-sports activity...such as, ask him if he would like to invite his friends/buddies over to your home. If he agrees, ask what he and his buddies would like to eat (i.e., fried chicken, BBQ, crabs/other seafood, sandwiches, chips/dips, nuts, etc.). Prepare the food, and don't forget the drinks (i.e., beer, sodas, juice)...whatever to their liking...the drinks can be optional. You can suggest that his buddies provide the drinks and some of the food, if you want. Budgets are tight these days. He should appreciate your voluntary offer - no matter what is provided, or not.

Once you have prepared this feast fit for a king, let him know you have other plans, too. You can let him know you will not be joining him and his buddies because it is just not your way of having fun. BUT, let him know you support him in his interest(s), which is why you fixed him his favorite snack(s). He should appreciate this approach because you have still been involved, indirectly, in his love of sports by voluntarily offering your home and (perhaps) fixing the snacks and (perhaps) providing the drinks. The old cliche is still a good one: "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Also, "You get more bees with honey than with vinegar," is another one to remember.

Perhaps your plans may include staying in your home, but in a different part, or you may just want to go to the Mall, sightseeing, or take in a movie...the computer always takes up a lot of 'constructive' and 'progressive' time. Get ingrosed in your own activities.

As far as the autographs are concerned, compromise is always a good approach to anything. Tag along, but let him do the collecting of the autographs. At least you two are doing something together and not creating a gap in your relationship. Gaps and a lack of interest or concern in your "significant other's" activities puts a strain on the relationship and can be a basis for splitting up.

Some activities in our lives we may not like because we have not let ourselves get involved in them. At least by trying a particular activity your husband really enjoys, several times... not just once, you may either have a reason for not liking the activity or you may actually begin liking it!

Then, if you still do not like the activitiy you realy tried to participate in that he, so much, enjoys, let him know, "Sweetheart, you know we have attended everything you like to do, and I have participated, wholeheartedly, but this is not my idea of having fun. BUT, if you really like doing this, I support you...at a distance.

Answer 2

Did you give him the impression that you liked these things before you were married? If you did, that was the incorrect thing to do, it is a bit like lying without saying any words.

Do you have things that you like to do that he is not interested in?

Most couples will and should have some different interests and hobbies, that is actually good for a relationship.

Be honest, your husband obviously loves you and likes you enough as a person to want to be married to you. Just tell him that the sports events and autographs are not that interesting to you.

You should not avoid all of the situations, it would be loving of you as part of a married couple to participate sometimes; I am sure that you want your husband to tag along to events he is not that interested in, right?

If you did seem to be more interested in these activities before you were married, it will initially hurt his feelings, but I am sure that he can work through it, and everything will be fine.

Honesty and trust are very important factors in a marriage, and should be valued at all times.

Good luck, I wish you and your hubby the best.

Answer 3

I'm sure the two of you have other interests that you share, it is not expected that people are exactly the same with the same interests. You just need to talk to him kindly and tell him of the things you love doing with him, but would prefer not to watach sports or collect autographs....enlarge on the things you do together and minimize the ones you dont like. Tell him you dont mind watching a few games with him, but you dont want to do it on a regular basis. You could also suggest to him, that watching sports could be spent with a male buddy and give him a little bit of free time. Surely he wouldnt be offended as long as you support his activities, but not necessarily join in with him. I'm sure there are things that you would like that he wouldnt. Maybe even suggest that you would like to join a gym and when he is doing his thing, you would like to do yours....or think of something he may not like doing, but you would. Im sure there is a compromise, you just have to find it.

Answer 4

Marriage is a give and take relationship. You have to be honest with him and he needs to be honest with you. If he enjoys watching football and you can't stand the sport tell him up front, if he loves you he'll understand and perhaps find a compromise. Being honest in a marriage should not cause hurt unless he is so insecure or immature that he can't take it. If that's the case then it's going to be a long road to happiness for both of you.

Answer 5

Christ hon just tell him. Mine knows I do not like watching sports on TV that I can not stand asscar oh excuse me Nascar and I have no interest in his "hobby". However as far as his "hobby" goes when they have local races I will attend to be supportive of him but I will NOT watch some damn sport or anything else for that matter that I am not interested in. But dont expect him to rush off to the craft store with you.

Answer 6

Well you both have to remember that as well as being a team you are also individuals who have likes and dislikes. You need to discuss this with him calmly and politely.
First acknowledge his likes and then tell him yours and then ask if you can spend time doing each others likes. That way you have time together and you spend an amount of time doing what you both like.
If he is unreasonable about this then after doing what he wants for a while, just calmly say that you are going off to spend some time doing what you want. Do this even if it is on your own for a while. Quite likely when he sees you being reasonable he will then come your way. ( I hope).
Cheers

Answer 7

"Honey...I'm not really comfortable with watching sports or collecting autographs, but feel free to keep doing it. I just am not interested. I love you".


How's that?

Answer 8

you have to be honest. be sincere. keep in mind it is something that they enjoy. me personally. i am huge on compromise. my fiance LOVES paintball. me personally have had a horrible experience with it. so i was honest from the begining. and we came to the compromise that i am to try it one more time. if i still don't like it he'll find someone else to go with him. however even knowing i am not fond of paintball i have learned tons about the game. so if he is on a rambling spree about it i can keep up with the conversation. and really he gives me kudos for knowing so much about something that he likes. i guess the way i see it is, i can be supportive of his interests without them having to be my own.

i don't know if i've helped any. or even made a lick of sense. if i haven't, sorry. :) good luck on what you decide, however honesty truely is the best thing.

Answer 9

If it's something simple like what I'm watching on TV, my girlfriend lets out this sigh that hits me just right, and I'll turn it off.
As far as activities, agree to go with him only if he agrees to do something you want to do (that he doesn't like). If it means a lot to him, he will agree and you two can spend time together. At least this way, at worst, your free time is split 50/50 doing both your activities and that is only fair.
If you just want to refuse it in general, then say "I don't like this, and I don't want to do it anymore." He should be fine with it, as long as he can do the same thing.

Answer 10

It's going to hurt your husbands feelings if you don't like sports?? That's crazy....just tell him.