How do you deal with people that pretend to be friends, but you feel are not really, ... :) ?

Question

when you have to live with them, and deal with them daily?

Thank you for your answer! :)

Have a wonderful day! :)

((((((Zelda)))))) - Thank you! :)

Answer 1

Treat them like a real friend until you have some evidence to the contrary and even then you have to be sensitive to the fact that nobody's perfect and that we all make mistakes.

How do you know that they are pretending? Maybe they just have different priorities or different ways of expressing their friendship. Some very annoying people can surprise you with their compassion and faithfulness when you least expect it.

Its nice to have some things in common but its not necessary to have exactly the same desires and preferences. Sometimes its nice to have different strengths and weaknesses so that we can help each other out but sometimes that gap can be alienating.

Like many people have already said, if you have to deal with them on a daily basis then the key to getting along is dialog. Talk about it. (eg: "I like it when you..." "I don't like it when you...")

Friendship is knowing all about the other person and liking them anyways (ie - friendship doesn't necessarily mean that you like everything about the other person but rather that you are willing to put up with their faults)

However if you just don't like the person there is no sense in pretending, though you don't have to get angry either as there is always room for politeness.

Answer 2

When you feel a person is not a friend you stay away from this person , Just say HI and keep walking Its avery good way to avoid lots of problems in your life , What if she or he start a conversation , After a minute find a excuse , Politely just say Im sorry I have to go For the girl whose living with another girl find yourelf another appt Oh not enough money well rent a room Theres always a way when we want But for both girls if you like complaning instead of action just keep on

Answer 3

Hi Sweetie! (((((Moon :)))))

That's a tough question, especially when they are family or co-workers. 1) I guess the first rule of survival for anyone in this situation has got to be - never gossip about anyone - especially in a negative way. It will always come back to bite you. (Of course I can't imagine you doing that.) 2) Next, I would say be friendly but do not open up your entire personal life details to that person or anyone around them. There is a difference between heartfelt discussions and personal details. Too many people are ready to advise you wrongly about your personal life, without having any grounds for their opinions. Some of them are just jealous, and their advice can be very harmful. 3) Try to shift the discussions to the other person at all times. Most people love to talk about themselves. 4) If that person is being unfair to you or to someone else, or just plain mean, you can give them a smile or a hug and tell them "Sorry. I love you, but I don't agree with you on this on." OR "Think about that for a minute. Do you think that's the way it is?" A short statement acknowledging what they said telling them you care and were listening. BUT!!! Refuse to engage in further discussion or argument. 5) Insist in a nice way on your own private time and space. "Sorry, but I need to just sit and read a book now (or go on Y!Answers now) Can we talk about it in half an hour?" 6) Lower your expectations about this person. You can't usually change people, just the way you react to them. If someone is somewhat toxic to you, create a mental crapola-deflecting shield. Don't let their negativity stick to you. They can only change if they want to.

Answer 4

I had a friend like that, but I didn't have to live with her or her family... thank God! : )

I put up with it for years, which wasn't good because it just made me feel sad and moody when she came around.
Since I didn' t live with her, it was an easy solution. I just quit talking to her and her family. Now, I see a difference in me. I am not constantly aggravated and worried when she will show up.
Living with them.. that's bad! I had to do that with my brother's
girlfriend. I couldn't like her no matter what. It finally ended in a big fight. You can only put up with so much before you lose your nice attitude. She ended up moving out and things were much better.

Hope your day is a happy one.

Answer 5

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and still treat them as I would like to have them treat me. Sometimes I get burned by doing that but most times I find that if they're NOT going to be good friends, they sort of just move on and dissappear from my life after a while.

BB,
Raji the Green Witch

Answer 6

She is not your real friend just a dependent she needs someone around someone to talk to because in some ways she is not completely secure. when the people she really want to be around are unavailable she comes back to old faithful because she knows you will be waiting for her. get a new friend/friends and not make yourself so available to her when she decides to be bothered with you so she knows you have a life outside of her.

Answer 7

in my real life right now i have one friend shes working for the same company as me and shes over 1000 miles away

shes the only person right now who wants to talk to me daily and knows everything about me

everyone else i've been ignoreing

i talk to other people, smile , hug and kiss and tell my loved ones i love them,

but im most happy when im talking to her on the phone

i dont expect to ever meet her

so the answer to your question is,

i dont have any pretend friends anymore

Answer 8

Hi Moon -
I don't do more for them than they do for me. I take care of myself and my loved ones..that's what matters most. As far as a fake friend goes...You give what you get and get what you give. It sounds harsh and I'd love nothing more than to have true friends, but reality has other ideas. I just stay away from them as much as I can and when I'm around them I don't let them get me down for a fake friend isn't worth the stress. Have a great evening Moon...

Answer 9

well you can choose your friends easily and you can deal with those type too because they are not your family!!! you don't share similar blood together nor genes so you can deal with them! good friends are always noticeable! bad friends well they shouldn't be called friends from the start! friends who pretend to love you are not friends either ! and you should treat them like you treat a stranger meaning be mannered, well spoken , and formal! don't get deep with them and make sure they notice the red line you drew!

~take care~

Answer 10

Have same Problem was about to asked this too... In my sittuation my friend live with me and i hated it when she talks about things behind my back, the when i am chatting to my bf she wanted to know what we are talking about. and the bad is she tell it to others, when she used my computer i give her privacy i tried to show her things that she's not doing. she knows im straight kind of person when i dont like whats happening i tell and show. and still seems she dont care so i just dont say a word anymore...