can it be somewhere in between those? if it's not unconditional is it really love? any thoughts are welcome.
2007-09-18 07:16:13 · 13 answers · asked by uncanny me 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Let us look at an analogous situation: physical love.
In most societies, there are standards for when it is considered appropriate to engage in the physical act of love, whether these are explicitly stated or enforced through more subtle social pressure. A person who sets their standards higher still is often respected, while a person who sets their standards lower is usually reviled, and (depending on the society) may even be overtly punished for it... perhaps even killed.
There are people, for example, who have set their standards for physical love so high that nobody meets their standards. Their physical love is SO conditional that it doesn't happen. We call this being chaste or celibate, and this is considered by many to be a VIRTUE; a person who is unconditional in physical love is not permitted by many religions to serve as an authority.
On the other hand, there are people who set lower standards. A person who trades physical love for money, favours, or power is called a whore. They are reviled in part because they make a mockery of even the term 'physical love'... what they do may be physical, but it's not love. A person who sets their standards even lower can hardly be more respected: someone who will have sex with ANYONE, regardless of feeling, disease, violence, or even convenience or pleasure is usually just thought of as mentally ill at best. An object of pity, not respect.
Why, then, should it be any different for emotional love?
A love that is freely bestowed upon any taker without limit is worth about as much as anything that is freely bestowed upon any taker without limit, which is to say it is worth nothing. A college diploma that was given unconditionally isn't worth the paper it's printed on. A trophy awarded uncondintionally is neither a trophy nor an award - it is just a hunk of metal that symbolizes nothing.
Love can sometimes be the greatest thing of all. To treat it as if it were a worthless thing to be handed out for no reason could be thought of as an insult to all those who truly prize it. Those who proclaim the idea of unconditional love are most likely just those who cannot obtain love in any other way.
2007-09-18 07:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by Doctor Why 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An interesting question. I think love as experienced and shared between individuals is probably always conditional. Consider previous boyfriends or girlfriends -- you love them at the time, but years later, they almost never cross your mind. Thus the love you feel for that person is conditional upon your continued interaction with the person, the way they treat you, and (probably) their reciprocation of your feelings.
It may be the case that we can overlook a lot, or accept a lot in the name of love, but I think there's always some underlying conditional nature.
This is not to say that love as described above is all there is. Perhaps "capital-L Love" as a higher spiritual principle is eternal and unconditional, and the love we can feel between ourselves and others is just a temporary tapping into of that higher principle.
That being the case, it could be possible to tap that principle more fully and permanently, and thereby be able to experience truly unconditional love. I think that kind of spiritual connection is not something you see very often, though.
2007-09-18 07:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sir N. Neti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love must be unconditional. Think about it. Those people and pets that you cherish, don't you cherish them even if they do something dumb? I love my kids no matter what they do. I love my dog no matter what he does. I love my ex even if he is happier far removed from me.
Unconditional love is all that matters. It is the nature of real love.
To love someone with restrictions is not love, it's a contractual agreement. Unfortunately, sometimes we end up in relationships that are contractual: people agree to love another so long as they promise to do something (make a ton of money, never leave, feel lust only for them or something similar). That is not love: that is obligation.
Everyone deserves unconditional and true love.
2007-09-18 07:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Sheila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many types of love. Unfortunately, there is only one word for it in English. The only unconditional love would be agape. A love for a friend would be quite conditional. A love for a child would be unconditional. Yes, you can love conditionally.
2007-09-18 07:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sowcratees 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think we humans are capable of unconditional love. We can grasp and honor the concept but have no basis for giving such love. Unconditional love would be a love that is unmotivated.
Self deception is part of our human nature and we will deceive ourselves into believing that we do give unconditional love because it makes us feel good about ourselves to think so.
2007-09-18 08:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by Matthew T 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rare that love is unconditional, and if it is , well it is a good thing. But it should never be turned off like a light switch.
2007-09-18 07:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that love is unconditional because everything has it's limit. Okay, so some people say they would switch places for their children if they have cancer, but would they really if they knew what was in store? I dont think so. But it's my opinion.
2007-09-18 09:15:08 · answer #7 · answered by gilmore4077 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be unconditional and it also might not be. I believe even if it is unconditional, it is still love!!
2007-09-18 07:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by Gossip Girl! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love is unconditional there is no inbetween or middle ground. In loving a person you may not always like their actions, mannerisms, habits...etc but you still love the person.
Adding conditions is not about love but control/manipulation. When you love someone you accept them for who and what. Love is not fickle it does not change with the wind. Love is not self serving. Love does not depend on actions, appearance, behavior....Love just Is.
2007-09-19 11:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by marenda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
by utilising the examples you cite, you're probable speaking some guy-lady courting. i'm no expert by utilising any potential and that i'm no longer probable specific what "love" potential - it particularly is multiple issues to diverse human beings. notwithstanding, multiple the examples above are no longer precisely "circumstances". they are mutual understandings or expectancies of a undeniable style of behaviour and recognize for the different and for the courting wherein the guy and lady have invested their believe. the actuality that love may be withdrawn while those understandings are reneged upon, does not propose love in no way existed, merely that the characteristics which MADE one individual love the different now no longer exist. of direction, there are people who will tolerate cheating, mendacity and violence and who won't withdraw their love. In those situations i will basically end that the two their definition of love is extremely diverse to mine or that, for some reason, their expectancies are very plenty under mine.
2016-10-04 22:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋