Can I lure him back?

Question

Both of us are married, to our respective spouses, of course. We find each other hot. He says there's nothing wrong in his marriage, except the sex which occurs once in 2 or 3 months, since the day he got married, 3 years ago. We sent very sexual messages to each other and did have sex. It was supposed to be one time only. It wasn't so great, but I can't seem to get him off my mind. Its like an addiction. No idea what he feels, though he did start feeling guilty after the act. Actually backed off 3 times during the making out stage, but it was so easy to lure him. We are not in love and for me it seems more like the thrill of it. For him, I know it was one of his best times. Will he come back to me or will guilt make him stay with his frigid wife?

Both of us are married, to our respective spouses, of course. We find each other hot. He says there's nothing wrong in his marriage, except the sex which occurs once in 2 or 3 months, since the day he got married, 3 years ago. We sent very sexual messages to each other and did have sex. It was supposed to be one time only. It wasn't so great, but I can't seem to get him off my mind. Its like an addiction. No idea what he feels, though he did start feeling guilty after the act. Actually backed off 3 times during the making out stage, but it was so easy to lure him. We are not in love and for me it seems more like the thrill of it. For him, I know it was one of his best times. Will he come back to me or will guilt make him stay with his wife?
His wife is absolutlely not interested in sex per se.

Answer 1

it is so sad how we as humans are this selfish and do so many actions with no regard to the consequences and the people that we are hurting in the process, reading this made me sad for his wife maybe you should take a minute and think about her feelings for once. Maybe put yourself in someone Else's shoes for a change and not think about your own self gratification.

Answer 2

Sex without love is not much different from love without sex. IT WON'T WORK OUT! I predict his marriage failing eventually, because a sexless marriage isn't a marriage. Eventually, his wife will figure out she's being played. Either she'll accept it (and say goodbye to you) or divorce him(better possibility). However, you didn't say much about your marriage. Are you happy? Do you love him? Do you want to be with him? How is your sex life at home? If these questions make you cringe, then you need to move on with your life, and find someone who will fulfill all your needs and WANTS!

Answer 3

Back off. You have vowed to love your spouse for better or worse until the day you die. And so has he. If you are both so "hot" for eachother, get divorced and hitch up. I have a hunch the sex will not be as "hot" once the thrill of getting caught is gone.

Answer 4

Cheating is wrong no matter how you look at it. It's good that he feels guilty. He loves his wife no matter how frigged she is. Obviously you have no remorse and guilt for what you did, don't you think you should have some respect. It wasn't that good because he knew it was wrong. Where are your morals. Leave him alone and lure your own husband back, that would be the smart thing to do.

Answer 5

I hope not, for his sake. Adultery aside, you should consider taking a hard look at why you get such a "thrill" out of the idea of playing with someone so emotionally conflicted, and find a way to satisfy that need that doesn't run the risk of leaving someone badly hurt. Preferably after you've gotten divorced.

Answer 6

Why would you want to 'lure' him back? That sort of confuses me. Why not just leave it alone? You had your 'thrill' -according to you so did he, but his backing off 3 times during making out and appearing to be guilty after having sex with you is obviously a very big indication that he loves his wife and didn't really want to sleep with you but you 'lured' him to do it.

As for if he'll come back to you for more sex, maybe. But guilt and shame (especially if there are children involved) will probably make him stay with his wife. You said yourself he said his marriage is fine except for the apparent lack of sex- which by the way is a probably a HUGE lie as well..possibly not, but more than likely is. I think the best advice I can give you since you seem to be developing a 'thrill' for involved men is never ever believe a word they say. Ever. Never.

It is so extremely rare for them to actually leave their wives and families for the "other woman". And they almost always try and get your pity because they are horny and just want more sex. Yes, ofcourse... Sometimes there are problems and certain needs aren't being met, but usually the wife isn't even aware of them. Luckily for you don't have any feelings for him so it should be fairly simple to just leave him alone and you won't end up hurt. (this time)

And if you two aren't 'in love' which clearly you are not and by what you've described its pretty safe to say that this relationship between he and you is going no where why bother? I noticed you called his wife "frigid" which isn't exactly fair of you (especially if you don't even know her), but he obviously loves her and if after only 1 time he's presenting signs of guilt give it a couple more times or a couple more weeks and he'll probably break down and come clean to her.. then what. Hurt for nothing, and not for you but for her and possibly their children, families etc.. I know you don't have feelings invested, but someone does. I think you should really really think about EVERYTHING that could happen before you proceed with this man any farther.

Aren't you married?

For one thing to think about I bet you wouldn't want your husband finding out what your doing on the side (and if 'affair man' tells his wife what- he WILL tell her with who). Some women can be crazy when it comes to this issue... Clearly as you can see from some of the responses you've gotten thus far. Who knows what she might do or how she'll react. telling your husband could possibly end up being the least of terrible things that could happen. And for a second thing to think about. You. How would you honestly feel if you found out your husband was sleeping with a women who 'lured' him? What if he was telling her all these nasty and negative things about you (that aren't even true or the problems have not even been brought to your attention) Think back to when (and if) you were crazy about your husband. Would the situation reversed not devastate you? If you don't even have feelings for this guy, I say cut him loose before you risk putting another human being, a woman/wife threw the pain and damage YOU know you would feel in her position. Or before you do develop some sort of feelings for him and end up hurt in the end because he won't ever probably leave her, even if he did he'd probably end up doing the exact same thing a couple years down the road with another seducing woman.

Good Luck, you have some major soul searching to do

Answer 7

I'm not really sure if he will come back or not. But, may I ask whats wrong with your marriage? You're so busy calling someone else frigid. What's up with your husband? Why can't he seem to keep you at home? I think you should spend more time trying to figure out how to fix your own home and less time trying to play at someone else's.

Answer 8

You are both married and not to each other. You are committing adultery, plain and simple. You are both in the wrong and you have no business pursuing a relationship with each other. His sexual problems with his wife--if they are even true--are no one's business but theirs. Your problems with your husband are between the two of you and you are the two who should be working on them.

You're not going to get any encouragement or sympathy here.

Answer 9

So your question is will he come to you for some sex that you just said was not so great? You know it was one of his best times though you have no idea what he feels? Stop trying to lure someone who is married whether or not you find each other HOT!

Answer 10

its not about anything but lust, and your selfishness. guess its ridiculous to try to appeal to your character or morals, one day what u have done to his wife will come back to u, and when u get hurt u will understand it a little better. right now u feel superior to his wife, think your better but one day what u have done will come back to haunt u. we aren't animals we are human beings, and suppose to have a conscience, not try to destroy someones marriage and how they view their spouse, by appealing to his ego, and making him feel special. his conscience was bothering him, because he knows right from wrong. why pursue it? for just a thrill is it worth destroying your marriage or his. u might just see it differently if u were the one being deceived and disrespected and one day it will be u.