Sueing exhusband..............................................................................................

Question

Here is the short version unless I get carried away. I was married to my first husband and we divorced shortly after our child turned a yr old. He was abusive towards me and not accepting of our daughter who was handicapped due to a brain injury substained in a car accident. For 14yrs 6 months and 3 days he never once picked up a phone to ask how she was doing, during all email exchanges he never asked how she was(i kept him updated on all her medical care and so forth)he never came to visit her even when we were only 5 blocks away at my sisters house, sent her 1 birthday card for her 1st birthday a month late and 1 xmas gift about 8 yrs ago (his then wife sent it he didnt).In 12-2003 my daughter was diagnosised as terminally ill and put on the national list for organ transplant. Again he was informed of this again he didnt visit,call,email or nothing if they were in the same room together he wouldnt know who she was and that isnt me being mean its being honest.When I got pregnant

with my second child(yes im remarried and the man raised her and accepted her and cared for her as his own as I did his child) my ex her father said to me "when you have this new baby you'll realize her life isnt important".In May of 06 my daughter had to undergo a treacheostomy and use a vent 24hrs a day to help keep her lower left lobe open(though ALL breathing was on her own she just needed pressure for the one side of her lung)He at that point refered to the Terri Shivo case.Words were exchanged and I told him from that point on if he wanted to know how she was doing to make the effort I was *done* because I had been making the effort for 13yrs at that point.Well ofcourse there was no effort made by him.Shortly before labor day my daughter was out playing w her 15 month old brother came in laid down to rest and never woke up.I found her unconcious w spit coming out of her mouth and I knew something wasnt right.She was taken to the hospital where for 3 days we did

the day before labor day it was deemed my daughter was brain dead. that the seizure had killed off all brain stem function.On labor day I had her organs donated and the machines shut off and allowed her to have her wings. I called my ex and told him and asked him was he going to help me pay for her final arrangements. He told me NO and then started to give me "fake" tears which set me off so after 14yrs 6 months and 3 days of holding in all my anger towards him for how he treated our child I let him have it. My question is should I ask him one more time if he plans on giving me half of her expenses (it is in our divorce decree) or should I just contact an attorney and sue for 1/2 of her expenses, court-filing costs, attorney fee's and mental anguish?

I posted this in another section too just want as many opinions as I can get thanks.

TO the person that said I am trying to hold onto my ex husband. This is so not true we have been divorced 13yrs I only spoke to him as required in our divoce decree to inform him of her medical needs/hospilizations/unpaid medical bills (which he was responsible for half and never paid). I did not ever phone to be social or want to hang out or make him feel bad I kept him informed per our divorce decree of this medically necessary regarding our child. HE is the one that made nasty rude uneducated comments and told me in an email which I still have the he wishes she had died long ago(this email was from last yr) Im not holding onto him but how many of you out there can shell out 15+ grand for something when the other person is legally obligated to pay 1/2 also my daughter did not have life insurance they would not insure her due to "health reasons" every time we attempted to get her even the smallest amount

SO much time expire? She died 2 weeks ago?! That is not "so much time" thats 2 weeks! I am NOT asking for back childsupport he paid childsupport I took him to court 4 times before it was garnished. But how can you say 2 weeks is a long time since a child has died to ask him to pay half furthermore she was 14 a MINOR morally he'd be obligated.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, but I am glad she is no longer suffering. As you said, she got her wings, and she certainly deserved them.

Hell yes you should sue him! This is one of the biggest "what a jerk!" stories I've heard in a while.

You will have to pay the attorney a retainer up front, but he will ask in the petition for the court to order the jerk to repay you that money as well as his share of your child's final expenses. Ugh, I don't even know your ex but I can't stand him!

Answer 2

If it is in the divorce decree, he is obligated to pay it. You may or may not feel it isn't worth the effort, but do not make the decision without involving your husband, it impacts him, too.

Now, here's how I would go about it.

Consult an attorney, pay them to write a letter to him (sent Certified to prove he got it) demanding that he pay a specific amount by a specified date. Include copies proving that the amount claimed is 1/2 of the total you paid, and a copy of the relevant paragraph of the decree that makes him responsible. This will probably cost you $50 to $100, depending on whether you live in a small town or a big city.

If he does not pay, you need to go back to the same court that issued the divorce decree, and what will basically be filed is a Motion to Show Cause (the name may vary by jurisdiction), which means that since he didn't obey the order and pay, he has to come to court and show cause why he shouldn't be put in jail for Contempt.

I wish you well.

Answer 3

Please accept my condolences for the death of your precious daughter. I can't imagine how hard that must be, and I know she is in a special spot in heaven.

You already have the proof that he owes you for her expenses, so you really don't need to sue him to get it. A strongly-worded letter with a copy of the divorce decree should do it. If that doesn't work, I would recommend that you get an attorney to handle a possible lawsuit, simply because this situation is obviously (and understandably) very raw and emotional for you. While I understand how you feel towards your ex, and I can't say that I blame you at all, I think that the emotions about this case will get in the way of effective litigation.

Answer 4

First of all, let me say how very sorry I am to hear of your loss. As a mother myself I cannot IMAGINE how it must feel to lose a child. And I in NO WAY can relate to this biological father who would have nothing to do with her only because in his eyes she was not "perfect." I think there will be a special place in hell for him. Do not waste another moment of your precious life dealing with this sad excuse for a man personally. All it will do is stir up negative emotions in you as he once again refuses to acknowledge his responsibilities. Get the best attorney you can, sue his @ss & ask for attorney's fee too so that you aren't out a penny. I would also sue him for the mental & emotional duress that you mentioned. Tell the story to the attorney & he/she will let you know what all you can sue for. I think you have a GREAT case! God bless you, sweetie! You are in my prayers that justice will finally be done for you.

Answer 5

I would sue him. He has already shown you what he will do. The only way to get him to listen is through a judge and his wages garnished. It would be an easy open and shut case by what you said.

As a side note, he should be disgusted with his actions. How cruel can a person be?

Edit: Suing him also may make you feel better and help you close doors on his horrible actions. You no longer will be the victim, but an equal part against his terror he has shown you. It is YOUR time to stand up against the jerk.

Answer 6

First, I am really sorry about what you and your daughter had to go through because of this heartless thing. Second, it was his responsibility to take care of his child!!! You should get a lawyer to help you with this. Also if during these 14 years he was not being responsible for the child you can ask for child support for all the time that he did not pay. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

If it is in the divorce decree, you should contact a lawyer, but I would no only sue for half, but for all the expence, if he hasnt paid any child supoort you should sue for that also, and any medical bills that insurance would not cover. It is his duty as a father to provide, even though he didnt. Your now husband is her daddy and I am deeply sorry for your lose... Good Luck

Answer 8

Im so sorry to hear all that YOU and your Daughter went through. Your Husband today is the better man, and he is very unique, with a heart made of Gold. You know, I would forget all about that ex.... He will be punished in his own way and the burden will bring him to his knees, lateri n his life, let him deal with that all by himself. You, and your Family Celelbrate, not only your Daughters life but to the Special wonder that stepped in to left you both up. Be very greatful for what you have. You sure are loved. God Bless You.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, since you let so much time expire, you may not be able to enforce the divorce decree. A judge may find that your ex reasonably assumed you were not going to ask him for money since you hadn't for all that time.

Most importantly, I'm very sorry for your loss, and I know your daughter had a better life because of your love and care. That's something to keep in mind, no matter what happens.

Answer 10

You certainly have the right to get an attorney and sue, but let me just ask you one question before you do that.

Do you really want to put yourself through all that mental anguish? This man has proven time and time again he doesn't give a crap about you or your daughter. Does he really need another opportunity to show his true colors again?