The man who I love and have been living with for almost a year now asked me if I see us being married someday. We are both divorced and in the past when the marriage subject came up he has said he wasn't sure he would want to do the marriage thing again and that he didn't feel he needed a piece of paper to be committed to someone. Because of his past comments I'm not sure how to interpret his question of whether I see us being married someday. My question to the guys is...what makes a man ask that question and what info is he hoping to get from my answer?
2007-09-18 06:40:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he is past the previous hurt and is thinking about marriage. Give him an honest answer. Do not speculate about the future or say the you wish or don't wish for marriage, just answer yes or no.
Men usually ask simple questions because they want simple answers. He may not be ready for marriage yet, but the thought is brewing.
2007-09-18 06:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by wizard8100@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would look at it like this, coming from someone who has been married & divorced & then living with someone, what he said in the past was probably how he felt then. Over time though, you come to see the value of being with someone for the long term and making it permanent. His feelings towards the marriage issue have probably started to change and I think he is throwing the possibility out there to see what your thoughts are. He's not necessarily wanting confirmation or denial from you on the issue, he knows how he felt before and what he said before, and since things have (apparently) changed, I think he's wanting to see how you feel about it. My advice, for what it's worth, would be to tell him that it's something that you would like to talk about further... if you do indeed want to talk about it further.
2007-09-18 06:50:22 · answer #2 · answered by frisini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it takes a lot of love and commitment to bring up the topic seriously with a woman. He might have said those things in the past about not wanting to marry because he was unsure of your feelings about it and didn't want you to feel pressured into thinking that someday he was going to ask you to marry him. I think you need to measuer his tone of voice and body language. Was he being sensitive and open or was he being closed off and asking to get a reaction. Feel it out and do what you feel is right, but to me if he brought it up then he defintely curious to your reaction, but you need to feel it out and read him to understand where it is really going. Don't forget to ask your own questions and make your statements firm when you decide where your heart and mind are.
2007-09-18 06:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by sa_183327 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am male and therefore limited in intelligence but will attempt to answer your question; even though it has me scratching my head. Time changes all things, even minds. I have also heard it said that a wise man can change his mind but a fool never does. You don't state any ages so I have to make a quantum leap with limited intel here; I think perhaps as time has passed he has matured ever so slightly, as men sometimes do. Perhaps he has observed from having you as his boss that not all women are alike and perhaps you have the attributes of a keeper instead of being in the catch and release catagory. All God's chillums are different and defy understanding, good luck to you.
2007-09-18 06:50:38 · answer #4 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women ask questions ,hidden in a comment ,shrouded by a hidden meaning that needs to be interpreted.
Men speak English, they say what they mean!
He wants to know if you see the two of you as being married( just like he asked)
If you are not cool with the idea, simply tell him you are happy as things are.
2007-09-18 06:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he changed his mind about how he feels about being married again. It happens. I felt that way when I first got divorced. But then later, after being with my now wife for a while I reconsidered my feelings on the subject.
he's trying to see ifyour feelings on the subject have changed also.
2007-09-18 06:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by Sean C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I'm not a guy, but, maybe he has just seen in you the love that he has wanted to find. and he changed his mind, he wants to share that moment with you. Maybe he might still feel that way about the "paper" as do I and I am married. Maybe he is just having an open mind and wants to hear what you think. Just be honest with yourself, and honest with him. Don't tell him what he wants to hear, just really look inside yourself and think about it,
Good Luck... Hope I helped.
2007-09-18 06:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wise man once told me, "Quit interpreting and take the things people say at face value." You really need to ask him if he has changed his stance since his past comments. Tell him how you feel.
2007-09-18 06:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTLY if he said that he doesn't need a peice of paper that's BS he doesn't want to get married to you cause if he's milking the cow for free why's he gonna pay for the milk if you don't understand that concept ask someone
2007-09-18 06:48:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days it is common to find just as many 'happily UNmarried" couples as happily married couples. Why not give it a try? What's there to lose? (nothing, because there will be no divorce lawyers to tell you what he gets and what she gets...ya get what ya came with).
2007-09-18 06:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by kendrafer25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋