A person screws you over, but the lesson learned has great benefits, is it wrong to remain angry?

Question

If something you saw as negative ended up having many positive effects is it wrong to still resent the negative event/person?

Answer 1

Should one praise the evil cause when the effect is beneficial? I think if their was malicious intent behind the cause, then yes, there is nothing wrong with being angry. Now if there wasn't an evil intent behind the cause, then whom is there to be angry at?

Answer 2

Yes because they still screwed you over hehehe they can not be trusted..................

Sure there is always a lesson to be learned whether you get screwed over or not such is life right :))))

You remain angry only if you want to that is your choice anger is a neagtive in the body and soul so be mad but do not carry that mad with you as you go on in your life let it go and move on just make a mental note that people can't be trusted........

First impressions mean alot like when someone says something at a table over dinner you never forget their words and their character too there was an even that was a negative in a way for me because the other made me feel bad about my life but I am 100% ok with myself and if I never see that person again in this lifetime that will be their loss and not mine hehehehehe because I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE me hehehehehe and others too I have lots of Love to always give hehehehehehehe

Answer 3

No because you can still associate the negative event with your corresponding negative feelings, and the positive aftermath with your positive feelings about how well things turned out.
For example if you totaled your car in a terrible wreck and then three years later ended up with a new car you like more... You can be happy about the new car, but you are still nto going to have positive feelings about the car wreck because it was frightening, sad, you may have gotten injured, etc....You remember the event as it was and resent that moment in your life, even though down the road your new car may be better, faster, etc...

Answer 4

Just because you learned a lesson does not mean that you want to have anything to do with the person from which the lesson was learned.

If that person is unrepentant, then you may stay 'happy' in the knowledge that God shall pay back and not be exactly 'angry' at the person, however, you would never want to expose yourself to abuse again from that individual unless there is proof of repentance and the works of repentance.

Answer 5

Why would you let that person continue to live rent free in your head?
I'm not saying you shouldn't remain cautious, but your anger only hurts you, not the other person.
"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you."
Frederick Buechner

Answer 6

This has happened to me before. It's not wrong to resent the negative event/person, but it is important to remember all of the good things that come out of it. They do say it's unhealthy to hold a grudge, hopefully you can work on forgiveness.

Good luck.

Answer 7

There are a lot of people who use self-talk to handle what is going on inside their minds. When self-talk is not monitored cautiously it can lead to drastic effects not only on one’s personality but also affects its mentality and psychology. Self-talk is a type of conversation which we conduct with ourselves. In literature we call it soliloquy. Brain’s reticular activating system never forgets what we repeat again and again. Ironically this system can not recognize what is beneficial to the individual and what is not. Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right- a saying goes like this. Therefore when ever we ‘talk’ with ourselves, we should be cautious, very cautious in fact. There are a lot of audio programs which can help and there are a lot of online books. If I recall there is a book ‘self-talk solutions’ which is every effective in this scenario.

Answer 8

yes it is important to still resent the person, for one is angry at a person not for the consequence of his actions but his intentions. as far as events are concerned, you can call it destiny . there is no sense in being angry at something that turns out good inspit of first seeming bad.

Answer 9

It isn't wrong to retain a sense of anger IF you are overcoming ego conditioning that invalidated those authentic feelings in the past.

Otherwise, the anger is an attachment that will cause you to attract more such events in the future.

Answer 10

The Buddha said:

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

The Buddha also said:

"Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule."


Anger only affects you. Its your anger, it belongs to no one else. What possible good reason exists to hang on to it? I would go further and say its never a good idea to remain angry. All you are doing is harming yourself. When you hold on to things like anger, you are giving whatever provoked you more power over you than it deserves to have.